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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25055650">Legends</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimiwrites2000/pseuds/mimiwrites2000'>mimiwrites2000</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Multi, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, it all started with a Legend, meeting her father is awkward, searching for themselves, spoilers for chapter 127 and up, time skip</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:34:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>51,405</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25055650</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimiwrites2000/pseuds/mimiwrites2000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>an injury<br/>a miracle<br/>an understanding</p><p>and maybe 'everything happens for a reason' hold some truth in it, and all of it leads to that tingle of emotions with unsolvable maze that hypnotize its victims</p><p> </p><p>~a story of broken hearts who are searching for a cure while mending each others wounds</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Gabi Braun/Falco Grice, Hitch Dreyse &amp; Annie Leonhart, Hitch Dreyse/Jean Kirstein, Mikasa Ackerman &amp; Armin Arlert &amp; Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>242</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It all happened in the blink of an eye.</p><p>“Annie! Watch out!” shouted Armin from where he stood with Connie at the harbor, he hurled forward, but Connie held him by his sleeve, tearing it.</p><p>Annie was in her titan form, fighting off the Yeagerists back to back with Reiner, and everything was going according to the plan, except that Floch flew right behind Annie’s neck and thrusted a thunder spear into it.</p><p>Reiner’s fist smashed Floch, definitely leaving no breath in him, but it was too late.</p><p>The Female Titan fell to the ground, and steam started emitting from its body.</p><p>Reiner couldn’t stop to check on his comrade, even though they were in the lead, but letting his guard down for a moment might make both of them lose their lives, and that was a risk he couldn’t afford.</p><p>Meanwhile, Armin and Connie froze where they were, losing a titan power in such a dire situation wasn’t going to be in their favor, and they were already vastly overthrown in numbers with the Yeagerists.</p><p>And that wasn’t the only thing that worried Armin.</p><p>
  <em>We didn’t get a chance to talk yet.</em>
</p><p>Armin bit his lips, squeezing his eyes shut, he regretted not approaching her the night before, when they all were having dinner by a fire in the forest, even though sparks of tension could be seen around them, he should’ve stepped out of his comfort zone and talked to her.</p><p>Now she might be dead.</p><p>
  <em>Or she might not.</em>
</p><p>Even though Armin perceived the world in his usual pessimist behavior, this time, the desperate need to see Annie one more time got the best of him, “She’s alive.” Armin said out loud, mostly to give himself a pat on the back, but also to inform Connie where he was heading.</p><p>Armin unleashed himself from Connie’s grip and sprinted to where the Female Titan’s body lay on the ground, encompassed by its own steam.</p><p>“Hey! Armin!” Connie ran after Armin, tripping and stumbling over his own feet.</p><p>
  <em>She must be alive, she can’t be dead, she must live.</em>
</p><p>Armin looked above his head, up to the whizzing sounds of the ODM gear, seeing the few remaining of the Yeagerists still occupied with Reiner, he saw only a glimpse of Reiner, he was still on his feet and didn’t seem injured.</p><p>This could give him enough time to pull Annie out of there, not to mention that once they got closer to the body, they were completely immersed in the steam and were most likely invisible.</p><p>Armin had to go with the hope that none of the Yeagerists saw him and Connie leaving the harbor.</p><p>He finally got to the fallen body, which a portion of its flesh evaporated, leaving the bones with chunks of red on them.</p><p>Armin’s heart beating muted the whole battle that was ablaze around them, and all his fears struck at him at once, all those years of doubting his own plans, all the times he dwell on how weak his body was, felt like a massive boulder sitting at the nape of his neck, not letting him lift his head up.</p><p>He cursed himself because why couldn’t he come up with another plan? A plan where no one died, where they could’ve talked their way through this, no swords unsheathed, no blood spilt.</p><p>His thoughts flee his mind when he got to the nape, climbed it up, to where Annie’s body should be.</p><p>And it was.</p><p>Except that he couldn’t see a spot which blood didn’t smear.</p><p>He kneeled next to her, put his arms under her armpits and pulled with all his strengths, Connie helped him out, and with the sound of flesh rupturing, Annie’s body was out.</p><p>The first thing Armin did was checking her pulse, he put his hand under her nose, and waited.</p><p>Armin barely felt any breath coming out of her, and in a moment of panic, he wrapped his arms around her and gently brought her body closer to his, then he put his ear on her chest and closed his eyes.</p><p>He waited patiently to hear a beat, a weak thud.</p><p>But it was silent.</p><p>He clenched his jaw and sealed his eyes shut because he couldn’t permit tears, he couldn’t cry and let her die. He had to move quickly.</p><p>But his mind stuttered, lagging and ice wrapped every inch of it, and he couldn’t move a limb.</p><p>Connie sat on his knees next to Armin and held Annie’s wrist; checking for her pulse.</p><p>“Armin…” Connie said softly, putting Annie’s limp arm by her side, “we’ve lost her, she’s gone.”</p><p>Armin only hugged her body tighter, tears running down his cheeks, body-rocking sobs erupting from his lungs.</p><p>
  <em>She can’t be dead, she can’t be dead, she can’t be dead.</em>
</p><p>“How foolish are we?” Armin whispered, a sob shrilling out his chest, in contrast with his near-inaudible words, “we’ve already known what weapons they were fighting; we made these weapons specifically to kill titans, we’ve made them, Connie!”</p><p>Armin clenched his jaw tighter, burying his head into Annie’s neck, “J-just, just how stupid were we to let them fight a gambling battle!”</p><p>“Armin…” Connie tried to talk to Armin once again, he put his hand on Armin’s shoulder, squeezing it. He was shocked, to say the least, he had no idea that Annie seized an intimate part in Armin’s heart, who could have ever thought that out of all the people Armin knew in his life, he fell for the lone wolf; Annie Leonhart.</p><p>Connie tamed down the monster in him that wanted to snap at Armin; not only because they were in the middle of a battlefield and getting emotional wouldn’t help, but because he had suppressed his emotions for Annie for the past four years.</p><p>Armin heard all the cheap talk his friends spat about her, but kept his mouth shut and never showed any sign of disturbance. He knew how much Annie’s betrayal affected his friends, so he kept all his emotions to himself, not mentioning them or unwrapping them the tiniest bit.</p><p>“Annie, I’m sorry, I’m sorry that you couldn’t go back to your father, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Armin murmured in Annie’s ear, rocking back and forth on his knees, trying to run his fingers into her blood-soaked hair.</p><p>“Armin…” Connie let out a strangled whisper, but Armin didn’t give him any remark, he just mourned over Annie, and cried cried <em>cried</em>…</p><p>“Oi, Oi, Armin.” Connie shook Armin’s shoulder more vigorously this time, his voice more insistent and had a hint of panic in it.</p><p>Armin opened his eyes, but before he turned to Connie, he froze in his place.</p><p>Annie’s wounds were healing.</p><p>The flesh constructed itself, creating tissue over tissue, then skin emerged covering it up, not leaving a scratch behind it. Steam emitting from it with a hissing sound, but it wasn’t hot enough for Armin to drop Annie or even flinch.</p><p>It was happening fast, too fast.</p><p>In mere seconds, Annie’s body looked as fresh as new, no wounds nor blood insight.</p><p>“Just what… in hell… happened to her?” Connie chocked out, breath leaving his lungs, he stumbled on his feet and fell on his rump, propping himself up on his elbows, he couldn’t deter his eyes from what was going on before him.</p><p>Armin’s eyes were so vast that tears dried before falling out, making them itchy, his mouth was agape, and this <em>must</em> be a dream, this wasn’t possible, there was no way a titan shifter wound would heal that rapidly.</p><p>He blinked his eyes once, twice, then he was startled when Annie’s back arched, and a sharp inhale penetrated her lungs.</p><p>Armin loosened his grip on her having no idea what he was supposed to do.</p><p>Then Annie’s body curled on itself in a ball, and she was coughing vigorously, her coughs were dry and rough, and her body was twitching like she was in massive pain.</p><p>“Connie! Do you have water?!” Armin shouted at Connie, stretching his hand towards him, keeping the other around Annie’s shaking form, but Connie was out of it, he was staring at them, his eyes could pop out of their sockets and roll on the ground, “Connie!” Armin snapped his fingers, and Connie flinched at that.</p><p>“Y-yes, uh…” he searched at his pockets as if he was searching for his wallet, and that pissed Armin off because Connie’s waterskin was hanging right from his belts.</p><p>When Armin finally got the water, he lifted Annie’s head, who was still coughing and very slowly poured a small amount of water in her mouth.</p><p>She swallowed it, and Armin poured more until there wasn’t a single water drop left.</p><p>Armin discarded the waterskin at the ground next to his feet, and… he had no idea what was next to happen.</p><p>“Is she… is she breathing?” Connie inquired, his voice pitchy, getting on his feet.</p><p>Armin placed a finger underneath Annie’s nose once again, but this time, hope sparked in his eyes, and he felt warm breath brushing it.</p><p>But just to make sure, to make sure his cheerfulness wouldn’t be crushed, he ever so gently put his ear on her chest, and he felt a weak <em>ba-dum, ba-dum.</em></p><p>“She is….” He said in a soft voice as if he didn’t want to wake her up, but her eyes cracked open.</p><p>Her eyes opened as small as a thread, but it was enough for Armin to see her blue orbs gazing up at him.</p><p>That made Armin know precisely what he had to do.</p><p>“Connie, quick, let’s get out of here!”</p><p>“But the Yeagerists! If they see us, we’re done.”</p><p>“They have much-pressing matters at their hands right now, and anyway, the steam is almost completely gone, this is our only chance to slip away.” Armin stood up, lifting Annie on his back, holding both her hands around his neck. When he made sure that she was secure, he marched off the remaining of the Female Titan’s body, Connie following him.</p><p>They got to where Levi and Yelena were, Gabi and Falco hurrying towards them when they saw them carrying an injured.</p><p>“Annie…?” Gabi breathed out, then quickly went and brought some blankets, unfolding them and gesturing for Armin to lay Annie down.</p><p>“What happened, Arlert?” Asked Levi from the carriage he was laying on, his voice muffled from the bandages wrapped over his mouth. With his severe injuries, he only got as far as sitting up.</p><p>“A thunder spear went right through her titan’s form neck, and…” Armin started, but couldn’t finish, now that he cooled down for a bit and his mind was cleared, he really had no idea what happened over there, he looked over at Annie, and continued more to himself: “I don’t know…”</p><p>“How bad were her injuries?” Asked Falco, sitting beside him.</p><p>“She was badly hurt, she… I don’t know, but for a moment there, we thought…” Armin hesitated, “we thought she was dead…”</p><p>“No Armin that’s bullshit,” Connie cut through, “she <em>was</em> dead, I’m sure of it, I checked her pulse, and don’t act ignorant, you checked her breathing yourself!” at this point he was pointing at Annie with a shaking finger.</p><p>“Then how did she-”</p><p>“I don’t know, Armin! Her healing was creepy as shit too!”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Asked Falco, glancing between the two.</p><p>“I’ve never seen a titan shifter heal that fast… it was… strangely fast.” Armin answered, he wished he could know how Annie did it, how she healed her wounds like that… he was a titan shifter himself, and he saw Bertolt’s memories and the past holders of the Colossal Titan, but he couldn’t recall anything like it.</p><p>“The legend is… true.” Gabi said, and when Armin looked at her, her eyes were locked with Falco, both had unreadable expressions on their faces, “Falco, the legend is true! You explain to them, you’re better than me at that!” she beamed, and her sudden enthusiasm puzzled Armin even more.</p><p>“uh… yeah, sure.” Falco stood up, “there’s a legend -or a fable- that says the Colossal Titan has another power,” he paused, making sure that every word he said was completely understood, “it says that the holder of it, can heal injured ones… in certain circumstances.”</p><p>“The Colossal can what?” Connie rose an eyebrow, wrinkling his nose, he looked down at Armin, he voiced everyone’s thoughts, “and what are those circumstances?”</p><p>“Well, it can only heal other titan shifters.” Falco answered.</p><p>“Come on, Falco! Tell them the other reason!” Gabi chirped in.</p><p>“But it’s probably not true! It’s just people’s additions to the story!”</p><p>“But it won’t hurt if you say it too!”</p><p>“God, okay,” Falco took a deep frustrated breath, “so, the second part is, well, it’s probably not true,” Gabi groaned, making him roll his eyes, “It says that the healer and the wounded should be on a deeper level of… understanding, and a strong bond connecting the two.”</p><p>A moment of silence carried its weight on their shoulders, no one spoke for a long time, and Armin only pondered Annie’s face.</p><p>The greatest destruction weapon is also a healer…</p><p>“Falco, how got the two of you knowing about this legend or whatever?” Connie asked them.</p><p>“It’s taught in schools, and through our training. These stories were all over the place, but… we never thought that any of them were actually real.”</p><p>“What other legends did they teach you?”</p><p>“Well, there’s that one where…”</p><p>Their voices died down, and Armin didn’t care to listen to them anymore, what just happened was a mere miracle, and he had a hard time believing it.</p><p>He held Annie’s hand, caressing it with his thumb, the tip of his lips turned upward.</p><p>
  <em>I’m just glad she’s alive.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoy this chapter!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Annie heard muffled voices over her head, she couldn’t tell for whom they belonged, but she just wanted them to shut up and let her sleep.</p><p>But they didn’t seem like they would shut up any time soon, if anything, they were getting louder and more energetic. She made out Armin’s voice, and maybe that was Connie?</p><p>“Is she waking up?” A voice asked.</p><p>“I don’t know, I just thought that her eyelid moved for a second.” A voice answered, and Annie could say that this was probably Armin’s voice, she heard it for a very long time to recognize it anywhere.</p><p>“But she’s alive for sure, isn’t she?”</p><p>“God, Connie, she <em>is</em> alive!”</p><p>“Do you think she would still remember who we are?”</p><p>“Do I look like I would have a way of knowing that?”</p><p>“Okay, stop with the sass! It was just a question…”</p><p>Annie gathered enough strength to crack her eyes open, and they burnt at the flood of light, she hissed and shut them close. Still, for some reason, Annie didn’t have enough power to tilt her head or cover her eyes, but someone had already noticed and shielded her eyes from the scorching light, she internally thanked whoever that was, and finally, fluttered her eyes open.</p><p>There was no way to mistake the blue eyes and the blond hair, even if they were blurry at first, Annie looked at Armin, his face hovering over her. With time, she could see Connie, Gabi, and Falco lurking behind them.</p><p>Then she noticed that he had his hand elevating over her forehead, shadowing her face.</p><p>“Annie?” Armin said, with a voice so quiet, and she wondered why are his eyebrows furrowed?</p><p>“What is… going on?” Annie asked Armin, her own voice even quieter, only Armin could hear it.</p><p>Armin’s mouth broke into a smile, and he whirled his head around to the rest: “She’s alright!”, then he turned back to her, “how are you feeling?” he asked. When he saw that she was comfortable enough with the light, he lowered his hand and put it on her forehead, the other one went up to his own forehead, he closed his eyes, and his eyebrows scrunched a little bit in concentration.</p><p>“What… are you doing?” she inquired instead of answering his question.</p><p>“I’m checking your temperature, you’re fine, I guess.” He lowered his hands and crossed them on his lap.</p><p>“Why would you check it?”</p><p>Everyone went silent for a moment.</p><p>
  <em>Can’t she remember anything?</em>
</p><p>“Oi, did you temper with her memories or something?” Connie asked, his tone from tip to toe serious.</p><p>“How the fuck would I be able to do that? Connie, sometimes you can be really stupid-”</p><p>“This is probably the second time I’ve heard you swear, Armin.” Annie said, and she suddenly felt a rush of exhilaration, like waking up in the morning, the windows open, the sun creeping into the room as the chill morning breeze danced with the curtain, “where are the rest? And why are you…”</p><p>Then it all came rushing to her, the Yeagerists, the Airplane…</p><p>“Reiner!” she sprung up, a sharp headache shot through her head, wincing, she held her head in her hand and shut her eyes.</p><p>“Annie! You’re probably not fully healed! Just lay back down!” Armin urged, putting both his hands on Annie’s shoulders and trying to push her down, but she swatted his hands away and glared at him.</p><p>“Where is Reiner?”</p><p>“He’s alright! He’s with the Commander and Mikasa and the rest, they’re getting the airplane ready.” Armin looked straight into Annie’s eyes, “now you should have enough rest because we still don’t know what would come up for us next.”</p><p>Armin unwavering look sent waves of comfort into Annie’s heaving chest, she believed everything he said, and to know that the plan went well and Reiner and the rest were fine made her at ease, so she winded down her guard and laid back down,</p><p>“Well then, what exactly happened to me?” she asked, and she was candidly confused and had no idea how she got here with the squad instead of working with Reiner.</p><p>“You… were injured,” Armin answered regarding him and Connie, and he twisted and turned his fingers in his lap, trying so hard to not look into Annie’s eyes.</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“Connie and I got you here to heal.”</p><p>“Armin, you know something, I heard you talk in pure honesty for four years, and not to add to the fact that sometimes you’re just a terrible liar, so what else happened?”</p><p>“Excuse me he did what?” Connie asked out of nowhere, looking at Armin and trying to dig out some explanations from him, but Armin only sighed, covered his eyes with his hand, and shook his head.</p><p>“What else you didn’t tell me?” Annie completely ignored Connie, earning a very irritated “hey!” from him.</p><p>“The Colossal titan legend.” All eyes turned to Yelena, who was looking up at the sky, not caring about the dozens of eyes staring at her, “It happened, and we witnessed it.” She smirked, “and when we thought we knew everything about the titans’ powers.” She said the last part to herself, shaking her head at the utter ridiculousness of the situation.</p><p>“The Colossal Titan legend?” Annie whispered to herself as if saying it would ring something in her mind…</p><p>
  <em>Ding! Ding!</em>
</p><p>Annie’s eyes widened, and she whipped her head, looking at Armin, wanting some more explanation, but she couldn’t see his face; both his hands covered it.</p><p>So, Annie only got deeper into the blanket, pondering what she would say in such a situation, and for once in her life, she wished she had better communication skills.</p><p>“I’ll uh, go check on Hanji and the others,” Connie announced, pointing his thumb in the direction of the harbor.</p><p>“I’m coming too.” Gabi and Falco said at the same time.</p><p>After they left, Yelena went back to sit by Levi, leaving Armin and Annie alone.</p><p>It was awkward, to say the least, both wanted to say a bunch of things, but neither knew how to start.</p><p>They sat there, Armin hugging his knees to his chest, and Annie merely laying there, sometimes she’d wonder the clouds, and other times she’d close her eyes and take deep breaths.</p><p>But she was restless.</p><p>If she didn’t get this out of her chest, she might as well explode.</p><p>“Thanks.” She finally let it out, and let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in.</p><p>Armin was taken aback by her sudden confession, but he cleared his throat and stuttered: “Uh, yeah, it’s… n-nothing, really.”</p><p>“You literally brought me back from the dead.”</p><p>“No, no, I didn’t, I merely helped you heal faster.”</p><p>“Well, it’s the same thing.” Annie defended her idea.</p><p>“No, it’s not.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I fucked up.”</p><p>A beat of silence.</p><p>Armin didn’t know what to say, so he blurted out: “There was nothing you could do anyway.”</p><p>Annie didn’t push the subject any further; instead, she wondered out loud: “Do you think Marley’s internment zone was wiped out by now?”</p><p>Armin rested his head on top of his knee and hugged himself: “I hope not… I really hope not.”</p><p>“My father is there.”</p><p>“Is that so...”</p><p>Annie nodded, then slowly she tried to set up, Armin immediately got closer to her and offered his help with open hands.</p><p>She stared at his hand for a moment before she took it and sat up. Annie didn’t quite get the details of what had happened earlier, but as far as she knew, Armin saved her life, and she wasn’t to deny favors. She was grateful to him, but had no idea how to show it, and Armin’s timid behavior only held her back.</p><p>
  <em>If only he could say anything, anything at all-</em>
</p><p>“We didn’t get a chance to talk properly.” He said, drawing spontaneous shapes on the sand with his finger.</p><p>“Yeah…” Annie agreed, watching his finger, “last time we talked, I killed half of you.”</p><p>“And after it, I killed half of you too.”</p><p>A beat of silence.</p><p>“Annie…” Armin whispered her name with a sigh, and when she looked up at him, their eyes met.</p><p>Annie had so much to say, so many questions and thoughts, she needed to get them out of her chest, but Armin’s pleading eyes halted her, she saw the exhaustion of years in those blue orbs of his, she saw how they no longer held their glowing, the fire in them died down.</p><p>Guilt swelled at the bottom of her stomach, and she wanted to shuffle closer to him and hug him, to let him cry his pain out, she was the starter of his misery after all, if she never failed her mission, if he never exposed her cover, how things would have been…</p><p>“I’m sorry, I dragged you into this.” He said and pressed his lips together and nodded his head apologetically.</p><p>“I’m not doing this for any of you, and you know that.” She responded.</p><p>“I know that, I know that so well.” Armin resumed his unprompted shapes, “I’m just glad that you agreed to be part of this.”</p><p>“And what makes you so sure to trust that I won’t betray you again?”</p><p>Armin halted his finger for a mere moment, before the tip of his mouth lifted upward, “You were never on our side to betray us.”</p><p>“You’re not wrong.”</p><p>“Nor were you on their side.”</p><p>Annie was quiet for a second, then, she said: “You’re not wrong again.”</p><p>“Well, if you’re on nobodies’ side, why didn’t you kill me back then?”</p><p>“I didn’t know that you were here to interrogate me.” Annie fired back, her eyes searching the sky.</p><p>“No, I’m just curious.” Armin seemed unmoved by her sharp tongue.</p><p>“Who knows? My mind was fucked up at that time; besides, my objective was to capture Eren, not wipe out every single one of you.”</p><p>Armin looked at Annie, trying to read her face, but all she did was observe the sky with a stoic face, bored even.</p><p>Without looking at him, she inquired: “Maybe you tell me; why didn’t you rat me out earlier? You saw Marco’s ODM gear with me, but you didn’t tell, instead, you kept it to yourself for weeks.”</p><p>“Yes, I did.” He wished she’d look at him, he wanted to stare into her eyes, to read through her and know what she was trying to get at.</p><p>“You knew something horrible would happen, and yet, you kept quiet.”</p><p>Armin froze, his finger still lingering on the sand.</p><p>“You knew I was a traitor, and yet,” Annie grinded her teeth together, “you kept quiet.”</p><p>“Annie, please, stop-”</p><p>“You went through your plan and cornered me, like a cat sieged by dogs,” Annie lurched forward, grabbing Armin by his collar, looking straight into his eyes, “you could’ve stopped me from the beginning-”</p><p>Armin struggled under Annie's tight clutch, putting both his hands on her fist, trying to loosen her grip on him.</p><p>“Why didn’t you do it?”</p><p>“Annie,” Armin withered, “you’re- you’re choking me.”</p><p>“Answer me.” She breathed through her teeth, her knuckles turned white.</p><p>“Annie-”</p><p>“Answer me!” Annie shouted.</p><p>“Because I didn’t want to believe it!” Armin shouted back.</p><p>The silence draped on them like a thick blanket, their hearts beating in sync, rapidly.</p><p>Blue orbs looking straight into each other, unblinking, unwavering, a thread could emerge between them so thick that no sword could cut.</p><p>But neither of them pulled away.</p><p>Annie's eyebrows were furrowed, scrunched together, and meeting in the middle, she tried to even her breathing, but she gave up, she might have forgotten how to breathe.</p><p>Armin's breath was stolen by Annie’s grip on his collar, but he couldn’t pull away, and that wasn’t only because he couldn’t, but because he was still stunned at Annie’s abrupt fury.</p><p>When Armin knew he would be dying in mere seconds without air, he decided to do something.</p><p>He gently rubbed his thumbs on Annie’s clenched fists.</p><p>Annie dipped her head looking at his fingers, rubbing soft circles on her skin, and slowly, she untied her grasp.</p><p>She swallowed a large lump that formed in her throat and shuffled back to her blankets, covering herself in them and hugging her knees to her chest.</p><p>Armin’s hand caressed around his throat before fixing his collar, he occupied himself with brushing his clothes, because he had no idea what to say.</p><p>“If you told on me earlier, I wouldn’t have killed all those people…” Annie mumbled into the blankets.</p><p>Armin thought his next words articulately, “If you killed me, there would have been a higher chance of you getting away.”</p><p>“So now we're blaming each other?”</p><p>“I’m not blaming you, and if you are blaming me, then go ahead, I’m not going to stop you.”</p><p>“What are you trying to say?”</p><p>Armin sighed, giving up, he had no other choice but be as blunt as her: “We almost died out there-”</p><p>“We almost die every day, Arlert.”</p><p>“-my point is, I don’t want to die with unanswered questions.” Armin shuffled closer to Annie, and his closure made her look at him, but she didn’t move an inch, “Annie…”</p><p>Annie’s eyebrows lifted in complete astonishment; the begging tone Armin used with her, after she choked him, after she took some of her frustration on him… the way he looked at her with those eyes, it reminded her of that day…</p><p>“When did you come to look at me with those eyes, Armin?”</p><p>Armin put both his hands on his head and tangled his fingers with his hair: “I literally spent four years, going down to that basement, sitting there for hours, j-just talking to you! Even though I knew you wouldn’t answer, I talked and talked-”</p><p>“And why did you do that? I’m sure Hitch was the one in charge of watching over me.”</p><p>“Because I needed answers, dammit!” He half-shouted, his voice filled with frustration, irritated at her, the world, his whole life, and all the dumb titans’ powers because there were millions of humans on earth and he had to be one of the nine who were cursed with this power.</p><p>It all beseeched to pour out of him at once, those years of the people inside the walls ignorant about everything, of Eren being distant, of Mikasa being lost, of himself, and what was going inside his friends’ heads when they opposed Captain Levi to revive him.</p><p>And now that Annie was miraculously resurrected, Armin hoped that he could vent some of these encompassed thoughts and that he would get some answers, but he seemed nowhere to get what he wanted.</p><p>“I never knew my real parents.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I mean, my biological parents, they abandoned me before I even opened my eyes,”</p><p>Annie took a deep breath, “I’m an illegal child, one of my parents was an Eldian, the other was a Marleyan, and it’s prohibited to have any relationships with the race of the devil.”</p><p>Annie swallowed, looked at Armin, who’s eyes widened, and was listening intently. She never talked about this before, she didn’t even discuss it with her own father, but Armin’s words stirred something deep inside her, and she couldn’t control the terms; they were flowing from her mouth.</p><p>“And… my father, he took me in, it wasn’t as in a family adoption, he was promised promotions if he raised me to be a warrior, and all I’ve ever known in my life was to fight, but for the sake of others.” She whispered the last part, hugged her knees to herself, and buried her face between them.</p><p>Armin already had some questions to ask her, but he was nervous; it was clear that this topic was so sensitive to Annie, and he could sense how vulnerable she was getting by the minute. He bit his lip, feeling like a selfish bastard who thought he was the only one suffering in this world, and he couldn’t help but remember how ignorant Jean was in his training days, Armin was glad he changed.</p><p>“We trained every day, from dawn until sunset, I never knew what objection was, I was on full obedience behavior and not even once I thought of changing that.” Annie paused, adjusting the blanket over her legs, “then I got into the warriors’ training unit and was selected to inherit the power of one of the nine titans.”</p><p>She didn’t have to tell the rest of the story; Armin already saw it in Bert’s memories, but he had a feeling that Annie wasn’t telling him something.</p><p>Armin heard the weight of Annie’s words pressing down her shoulder, thrusting her deeper into the bleak reality. She sounded so fragile, and he never heard or seen her like this before; Annie had always been that furious fighter whom, with one look, could send shivers down anyone’s back.</p><p>But he was Armin, and he saw through her years ago.</p><p>Since they were only cadets, he always saw that Annie had a nice side to her, deep down she was completely different from the façade she puts on, and he saw that because he was observant and sensible.</p><p>It was only because of his sharp mind that he knew who she actually was.</p><p>But now she was open, vulnerable about this side of her.</p><p>Seeing her in this rare state, Armin decided that silence would be the best response.</p><p>“I know what you’re thinking, ‘she has a horrible father, why would she want to go back to him?’” Annie voiced Armin’s thoughts, and he nodded in agreement, “before we were sent to our mission to Paradise, he fell on his knees and apologized for everything, he begged me for forgiveness, and requested my promise to go back to him… and I did.”</p><p>Armin lowered his head in thought and said: “I see…”</p><p>They sat with only silence accompanying them, both hugging themselves, trying to find a sense of tranquility in their own skin, they were too occupied with their own thoughts that they didn’t even look at each other.</p><p>In a moment of determination, Armin stood up, Annie tilting her head up in bewilderment, then he announced: “We’ll get to Marley in time.” He clenched his fists at his sides, “I’ll stop Eren even if it costs me my life, and you are going back to your father.”</p><p>Armin’s eyes met Annie’s, whose lips were parted in amusement, she was speechless to his sudden outburst of confidence, his eyes held back some of its old fire, and his stance showed her the fifteen years old Armin who was determined to do whatever he could.</p><p>She didn’t know what to say, so she scrunched her eyebrows in her old furious ways and nodded.</p><p>After that, Armin left to check up on the others, Annie wanted to tag along, but he insisted that she should get as much rest as she can before they proceed with their plan.</p><p>And she was left alone with her thoughts, pondering over why in hell did she tell Armin her story, and why he listened.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They took off, all of them abroad, even Levi; he insisted on joining them, even though he knew he won't be much help, and Hanji couldn’t stop him, they both couldn’t stay out of action.</p><p>A silence spread around them, the loud engines of the airplane made the atmosphere heavy with anticipation, every now and then, one of them would clear their throat, and that was about it.</p><p>Annie was curled under a blanket in a corner far away from everyone, hunched on herself, staring at the floor.</p><p>Meanwhile, Armin sat next to Mikasa, squeezing her knee or patting her shoulder from time to time, he knew that Mikasa was the most resolute yet apprehensive of them all, she had a gritty look on her face as if she was promising herself over and over that she’d do whatever it takes to stop Eren, still, that expression would falter and crumble, concerns taking over her, then the determined mien would reawaken itself again, and so on.</p><p>Armin would glance at Annie from time to time, and he had a hard time denying himself from crawling to her and engulfing her in an embrace.</p><p>An ignorant side of himself that he’s certainly not so familiar with wanted to do just that, rationalizing itself by saying that this could be the last chance he would be able to get close to Annie.</p><p>But then, the rational side -that he was known for- resisted and opposed, because how ridiculous would it be to just get carried away by emotions?</p><p>It was hardly the time to get sentimental.</p><p>So, his optimistic thoughts kept telling him that when all of this is over, he could talk honestly to Annie.</p><p>He just had to hold on a little bit longer.</p><p>“We’re here.” Announced the Commander.</p><p>The tension could be seen; how it stretched into a thin thread, almost cutting through the air.</p><p>All of them held their breaths, and none of them dared to move an inch.</p><p>Except for Annie, who ultimately abandoned her blanket and rushed to the front where the commander was, her eyes inspecting through the thick glass.</p><p>Armin couldn’t bear it any longer, so he got up, swaying on his feet before he too rushed next to Annie. Armin looked at Annie, her skin was paler than usual, her eyes so vast, shimmering at the corners. He shifted his eyes to the windows and-</p><p>The buildings on the shore where all thrashed out.</p><p>No one could tell what building stood where; just flat debris.</p><p>Armin looked right and left, but he didn’t see a single titan in his view, and it’s not like the Colossal Titans were hard to spot.</p><p>“The ocean,” Hanji said.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Levi asked from where he was wrapped in blankets next to them.</p><p>Armin’s eyes shone, and he said: “You meant the wall titans? They’re in the water?”</p><p>“Yes.” Hanji confirmed, they had a crazy look in their eyes, and Armin knew that if Moblit was here, he’d tell them to calm themselves.</p><p>“Then… what caused all this wreckage?” Annie found her voice and worded what everyone was thinking. Armin was glad he could hear her voice, “they can’t have returned to the water for a swim.”</p><p>“Of course not! We need to investigate, it doesn’t look like we could land anywhere near here…” Hanji said, and everyone was holding their breaths, waiting for what sort of plan Hanji was plotting.</p><p>“Annie,” Hanji turned to Annie, looking at her dead serious in the eyes, “can you transform?”</p><p>“Yes,” Annie answered, catching something of what Hanji was thinking.</p><p>“Okay, then, you’ll get a parachute, and once you get to the ground, transform, and go investigate.”</p><p>“Yes,” Annie immediately turned to get her equipment, but Armin halted her in her tracks.</p><p>“W-wait! Commander Hanji, I ask permission to go with her! We need someone to flare smoke signals!” He suggested, “besides, it’s dangerous to go there alone.”</p><p>Annie’s eyebrows rose the tiniest bit underneath her bangs, she mouthed ‘Armin…’ but no voice came out.</p><p>She knew that Armin didn’t want her to be alone when she finds the internment zone destroyed or when she finds her father’s body.</p><p>“Permission granted,” Hanji nodded, and Armin nodded in return. Still, before he moved, Hanji continued, “permission also granted for you to transform whenever certain that you should, just flare two black smoke signals before so we could move to a safe distance.”</p><p>“Y-yes.” Armin stuttered, hoping that he wouldn’t need to transform.</p><p>As was said, in a few moments, both were about to jump off the airplane.</p><p>“Nervous?” Annie asked, fastening her belts.</p><p>“Kinda,” Armin answered, taking a deep breath.</p><p>“You could hold my hand.” Annie mocked, brushing her clothes, signaling to Connie to slide open the door.</p><p>They got to the edge, the air rustling their hair and clothes, and Annie shivered.</p><p>They slid down goggles on their eyes, and right before they jumped, Armin whispered in Annie’s ear: “I’d love that,” clutched her hand, and they were off.</p><p>Annie only tightened her fingers around his hand, looking straight down at the ground underneath them, then Armin tugged her hand, alerting her that they should open the parachute.</p><p>Annie let go of his hand, and instead of opening the parachute, Annie adjacent her legs and arms next to her body, accelerating like an arrow and was hurrying to the ground implausibly rapid.</p><p>Armin extended his arm in a hopeless try to catch her, but he stopped himself when he knew what she was doing, and he immediately opened his parachute.</p><p>When Annie was far away from Armin and close enough to the ground, she opened the sharp thorn on her ring in one swift flick, she scratched her finger, blood splattering on her cheeks.</p><p>Thunder came down from the sky, and right where it hit, the female Titan stood lofty.</p><p>Armin was too fixated on Annie that he forgot to maneuver his own landing, so in moments, he was rolling on the ground, the parachute tearing in the process, and he got tangled in some parts of it.</p><p>Armin was steaming off the scratches he got from the fall while he managed to get himself free from most of the threads, he still had most of the parachute coarse cloth covering and suffocating him.</p><p>Something got hold of that cloth, uncovering Armin’s face excruciatingly slow.</p><p>Armin froze, his heart beating loud in his chest, and when he looked up…</p><p>He saw Annie’s titan form kneeling in front of him, checking his face.</p><p>Armin snorted, shaking his head and commented: “This brings back memories, doesn’t it?”</p><p>He could swear he saw her lips smirk.</p><p>Annie uncovered him, tossing the torn cloth to the side, before offering her hand to Armin, whom, without hesitation, stood on, then she lifted him up to her shoulder, and he stood there steadying himself by clutching strands of her hair.</p><p>“Well then, Annie, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”</p><p>And so, Annie started running.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you're enjoying the story so far!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, make sure to not tire yourself so much; we’re still clueless of what’s going on.” Armin said.</p><p>Annie turned her head slightly to the side, nodding, the motion almost made Armin slip, but he was quick to collect his composure.</p><p>Now that they had the mission laid in front of them, Armin couldn’t do anything but wish that everyone was safe.</p><p>He wanted Annie to be happy…</p><p>After what she went through, she deserved a happy ending.</p><p>Then Armin saw it, lines of buildings fading in the horizon, standing tall, hope sparked in his chest, and he knew that Annie saw them too, because she halted entirely in her tracks.</p><p>Armin had to think, and fast.</p><p>What would be their next step? What should they do? The buildings looked fine… as far as they could tell, and no colossal titans could be seen anywhere, does that mean that the civilians are fine? Is there an artillery line and soldiers waiting for them over there?</p><p>Annie looked at him before raising her hand and gently nudging the smoke signals on his hip.</p><p>“Y-yes, you’re right.” And he flared a yellow signal, waited a few seconds, and far away, he could see a green smoke flashing in the direction of the buildings.</p><p>“A green flare… alright, so the investigation isn’t over yet, we should get going.” He announced to Annie.</p><p>But she didn’t move an inch.</p><p>“Annie…?” Armin wondered what she wanted to say to him, she only looked in his eyes, and Armin shivered; looking at Annie’s magnified blue eyes reminded him of the shudders he got the first time he stepped into the ocean, cold but pleasant at the same time.</p><p>Then it clicked.</p><p>He knew what Annie was thinking.</p><p>“I know, I know it’s not the best idea to show up there, a foreign soldier on a titan’s shoulder, but what other choices do we have?”</p><p>Annie still didn’t move.</p><p>“You can make a crystal shell if there was any gun attack, right?” He asked.</p><p>Annie rolled her eyes before she rose her hand and gently poked Armin’s chest with her index.</p><p>“Oh…” he understood.</p><p>Annie was worried about him.</p><p>“I…” he wanted to come up with a convincing plan, but with the worried look Annie was giving him, flashbacks from Shiganshina battle flashed through his mind.</p><p>
  <em>“Eren, have I ever lied to you?”</em>
</p><p>Armin sighed, his hand flew to his head, ruffling his own hair, trying to come up with anything, but his mind was blank…</p><p>The same colossal finger that tapped his chest poked him again, and when he looked at Annie, she was gesturing her fingers between them.</p><p>“You… me…” He scrunched his eyebrows in concentration, trying to decipher Annie’s motions…</p><p>Then the wrinkles between his eyebrows faded and relaxed, and he smiled: “Yes, I’ll stay close to you.” He trusted her.</p><p>And they were on the move again.</p><p>They were getting closer gradually, each thud of Annie’s feet pushing the ground matched their hearts pulsing, the beating getting louder and louder, pounding at their heads.</p><p>When they were close enough, Annie slowed down, turning her running into jogging, then she was walking. The buildings stood upright, but the whole place was vacant.</p><p>“We can’t let our guard down, not yet.”</p><p>But no one could be seen, no soldiers, nor civilians.</p><p>“We are in the internment zone, aren’t we?” Armin asked, even if he already knew the answer; Annie’s head was whipping left and right, searching. Armin knew that panic boiled in Annie, and he needed to bring her back to earth, to let her get her mind straight.</p><p>“Annie, Annie, calm down-”</p><p>But she wasn’t anywhere near calm. If anything, Armin’s words only ignited her more.</p><p>He shot his anchors onto her forehead, almost missing with Annie’s frantic seek of her father.</p><p>“Annie!” Armin shouted, right in her face.</p><p>She froze, looked him straight in the eyes. Worry and alertness mixed in his eyes, boring into her, and she was immobilized.</p><p>“Listen to me, I’ll go investigate on foot, there’s nothing to see from up here,” Armin glanced around themselves, “I think everyone had fled already, we didn’t see blood or any bodies.”</p><p>Now that he mentioned it, it was true.</p><p>Maybe her father fled too, and he would be safe and sound…</p><p>“If anything happens, could you, uh, scream?” Armin said, then he flared a yellow smoke signal.</p><p>Annie nodded.</p><p>Armin hopped off her shoulder and was walking on foot.</p><p>There was no one there, not dead or alive, the whole place was abandoned as if it was deserted years ago, and Armin thought that maybe the Eldian here heard Eren too, and they got a chance to warn everyone off?</p><p>But did they had enough time to run? All of them?</p><p>If anything, Armin thought, Marleyans would’ve saved their skin and turned their backs on the Eldians, leaving them to their doom. They didn’t care about them in regular, no dangerous life…</p><p>Armin strolled the streets, he tried calling, the echo of his own voice the only answer he got, but he kept walking and-</p><p>He heard something fall, something huge, with a loud thud, shaking the ground. He turned, and the Female Titan was on her knees.</p><p>Armin didn’t have time to run, so he used his ODM gear to get there faster, his heart was beating against his rib cage, and he tasted vomit at the back of his throat, and <em>what on earth just happened to her</em>?</p><p>Armin wasn’t sure he’d be able to heal her again; he had no idea how it worked; he was merely clueless.</p><p>If there was an attack, and they got the female Titan that fast, then he wouldn’t last a minute. But something was eerie about it; Annie would’ve never gone down undemanding...</p><p>Armin got to where Annie’s Titan body was, and he let out an unsteady sigh when he saw her pulling out of her titan form, tearing the flesh around her body, and when Armin got closer to her, his chest heaving with irregular pants, he noticed the sweat gathering on her forehead, sticking her hair to it.</p><p>The moment Annie freed herself, she jumped down to meet Armin on the ground.</p><p>“Did you find anyone?” She asked, her voice breathless.</p><p> “No, as far as I can tell, no one is around.” He took a few tentative steps towards her, “are you fine? Why did you leave your Titan?”</p><p>“They shot a flare, they’re looking for somewhere to land, and I couldn’t just lurk around, I wanna search myself.”</p><p>“Annie, listen to me, no one is here, and I didn’t see one blood drop, so no one is killed either.”</p><p>“There’s no way all of them escaped.”</p><p>“Y-yes, I’ve been thinking about that, but as far as I can tell… I actually have no idea.” He confessed, there was no point in hiding his bewilderment from her.</p><p>“I’ll investigate,” Annie announced, marching past Armin.</p><p>Armin held her wrist, stopping her, but in one swift motion, she unclasped his grasp, “Hey, wait, stop!” he followed her, “we should at least wait for the rest-”</p><p>“I’m not waiting for anyone.” Annie halted in her steps, turned around, took a step fronting Armin, and was standing a few inches away from him, the way she fixed him with her eyes almost made him step back, “you wanna stay here, then stay and wait, I’m off.”</p><p>Before she had the chance to turn away, Armin stepped closer to her, and his arms wrapped around her.</p><p>Annie flinched and tried to pull from him and shove him away, but he only tightened his hold on her, burying his head in her shoulder.</p><p>His embrace on her felt like chains suffocating her, and she knew that she could flip him over with one swift kick, and yet, she didn’t.</p><p>Armin could feel Annie’s heart beating fast against his chest, matching his own, and he wanted to pull back for a moment and check Annie’s face because how did she not kick him yet? But he didn’t, and a frown pulled at his lips, because now that he’s close to her, he felt how petite and bony her body had become, and it made him soften his hold because she felt so fragile in his arms and he didn’t want to break her.</p><p>Tears burned the corner of Annie’s eyes, but she held them back and swallowed a sob, which only made her body tremble. She let her arms dangling useless at her sides, while she fluttered her eyes shut and focused on her breathing.</p><p>Armin didn’t need to say anything, and when he rubbed weak circles on Annie’s back, he felt a pair of arms sneaking around him, hanging around his torso.</p><p>Not long after it, he felt her body rocketing, and then his shoulder, where her face was resting against, started getting wet.</p><p>Then sobs were escaping her mouth, and Armin’s hands quivered, going up and tangling his fingers in her hair, the other hand seized her even tighter, tighter, tighter, <em>gently.</em></p><p>“I don’t-” <em>a sob,</em> “even know-” <em>a silent cry,</em> “if he’s alive-” Annie bit her lip, “or not.”</p><p>Armin didn’t say anything in return, he just rubbed circles on her back. Armin thought about the only time he saw Annie in a similar, yet different, state like this, Armin didn’t <em>physically</em> witness it; instead, he saw it from Bert’s memories… when they watched Marco being devoured by a titan…</p><p>Annie felt her body pressed into his, she thought she might become one with him, fitting each other ideally like two puzzle pieces falling into the right place, and the warmth radiating from his body was… easeful, and maybe<em> lovely</em>.</p><p>Then shadows zipped in the air around them, and familiar sounds questioned what was going on, but Armin ignored all of them, at least for the moment.</p><p>“Annie…?” A weak voice unfamiliar to Armin called, but at how Annie’s body stiffened, she must’ve known who that voice belonged to.</p><p>Armin loosened his embrace, and Annie pulled away from him, holding him at arm's length, looking for that voice.</p><p>And she saw him.</p><p>Annie’s father barely balanced himself on one foot; cane nowhere to be seen, however, upon seeing his daughter for the first time in years, he miraculously walked, darted towards her, tears already streaming down his cheeks.</p><p>Annie let go of Armin and ran to her father.</p><p>She stood a few feet away from him, tears blurred her vision, and she said in a choked voice: “I’m back, as I promised.”</p><p>“You did,” Mr. Leonhart sniffed, his own voice thick with tears, “I’m glad you’re alive.” He took the steps separating them, lifted his hands up and cupped Annie’s cheek, earning a sharp breath from her, he looked into her eyes and said: “I’m proud of you.”</p><p>Annie bit her lower lip, suffocating herself with her own sob, caressing her father’s hands on her cheeks…</p><p>They collided in a hug at the right moment, for their legs could no longer hold them any longer, they embraced each other and collapsed on the ground.</p><p>Annie’s sobs could be heard from miles away, her body rocketing with every inhale for breath, her fingers clutching her father’s clothes, and she rubbed her cheek against his, their tears mixing together. It was new and weird and relieving for them to sense each other’s emotions and <em>touch it physically</em>.</p><p>Mr. Leonhart was as miserable as his daughter, except that his crying was muted; no voices could come out his mouth, breath left his lungs, and he felt like he was floating. He rubbed Annie’s back to make sure that his daughter who was breaking in his arms was real and not a mere hallucinating.</p><p>But it was real.</p><p>Everything was real.</p><p>Armin speculated them from afar, the long-awaited family reunion happening in front of him. Seeing Annie showing vulnerability was appalling to him, as well as to the rest of the survey corps whom now was giving Annie curious looks and were gathering around Armin for their unanswered questions.</p><p>Heads poking from doors sneaked glimpses around, and slowly emerged, filling a circle around Mr. Leonhart and his daughter, who still were a miserable ball of tears and sobs.</p><p>So, they didn’t flee, and the best solution they came up with was to hide in the basements.</p><p><em>Not a bad idea,</em> Armin thought,<em> except that the construction of these buildings was most likely feeble, and the basement would be crushed under the Colossal Titans’ feet.</em></p><p>Armin was pulled away from the evolving crowd by Hanji, his chest a little bit puffed up, he couldn’t help but smile as pride swelled in him, the triumphant he achieved that he brought Annie back to her father, or at least, was part of it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you guys are enjoying this story! <br/>I cried while writing that reunion lol, and it was the first time I've ever cried while writing... I was a complete mess<br/>I hope I got you to feel some of the emotions I felt while writing this chapter</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I’m sorry, father</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry, mother</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry, Mikasa</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry, Armin</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry, Sasha…</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Hanji and the rest of the squad didn’t engage with any foreign forces; since the whole area was vacant except for the poor Eldian civilians that had no place to go.</p><p>Annie was still having her moment with her father, everyone observing that rare moment of serenity and happiness, but the joyful bubble popped when they saw a figure emerge from the flattened out part of the continent, the silhouette gradually grew bigger, it had its hands raised above its head, and when it got closer, it was clear that <em>he</em> had a messy, past the shoulders dark hair…</p><p>When he was in proximate distance to be recognized, gasps erupted from the crowd, and everyone backed away.</p><p>Except for Mikasa and Armin.</p><p>“Eren,” Mikasa breathed, a thread separated relief and terror in her voice.</p><p>They watched the guy who started all this dragging his feet towards them.</p><p>They were in front of the group, face to face with Eren, they were frozen, none of them believed their eyes.</p><p>Hanji screamed at them, demanding they stepped away from him at once, but they didn’t shift an inch.</p><p>Hanji got closer to them, clenching their jaw, they couldn’t comprehend Armin and Mikasa’s sudden paralysis, their ears became deaf and they didn’t even remark Hanji at any way.</p><p>Hanji heard murmurs and sniffs, low sobs: “I’m sorry, father, I’m sorry, mother, I’m sorry, Mikasa, I’m sorry, Armin, I’m sorry, Sasha…” and it went on and on, calling out every single one of their long-dead comrades</p><p>When Hanji looked at Eren, they knew exactly why the pair were petrified.</p><p>Eren’s eyes were red, and his cheeks puffed up, redder than his eyes. Eren was apologizing none stop, he seemed like he was in a haze, for he didn’t make eye contact with any of them, as if he was hallucinating and being insensible if they are in fact standing there, body and soul, right before his eyes.</p><p>Then Eren’s eyes rolled to the back of his skull, and he fell, hitting the ground in a bone-crushing thud.</p><p>Mikasa gasped and hurried to him, kneeling beside him, she shook him, frantically calling his name, then she held him and pressed her ear to his chest.</p><p>
  <em>Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum…</em>
</p><p>Mikasa held the limp Eren in her arms, and shrilling cries left her mouth, ripping her lungs. She crumpled to pieces, each piece tearing out a cry from her.</p><p>Armin took tentative steps towards them, he knelt next to Mikasa, wrapping his shaking arms around her shoulders, biting his lower lip and trying to hold in his cries.</p><p>“Quick, to the airplane,” Hanji announced, the urgency in their voice was alarming.</p><p>“What? Why?” Jean asked, stepping forward to where Hanji was standing, he averted his eyes from Armin and Mikasa hugging Eren.</p><p>“I don’t know, my instincts say so, we should leave, now, go get Annie.” Hanji got to Mikasa and told her to get Eren to the airplane as fast as possible, Mikasa had no idea what was to happen to them, but she nodded, wiped the tears off her cheeks, carried Eren by the shoulder from one side, Armin holding him from the other side.</p><p>And once again, they were on the airplane, though this time the atmosphere was different; relief mixed with bewilderment and utter confusion swathed all of them.</p><p>The unconscious Eren was laid down on the rattling floor, and Mikasa was dabbing wet, cold cloth on his face; since his temperature was rising for no apparent reason.</p><p>Jean glared from a corner next to Connie, neither of them talking though they knew what everyone else was thinking.</p><p>Armin rested his head on the metal walls behind him, crossing his legs, he let the deafening noise of the engines block his ears, and with his eyes closed, he thought of how surreal the occurrences were in the past few days.</p><p>Annie looked at him from her own corner, where she was sitting with her father since she refused to go anywhere without him. They held each other in an inseparable embrace, Annie wrapping her arms around her father’s waist, while he had his arms around her shoulder, engulfing her in a hug worth all these tough years they went through.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Do I think this would actually happen? NOPE, hell no, but I just,,, idk, meh I guess</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They got to the island, and as sneaky as possible, they found a cottage somewhere in a remote area in the mountains. They decided that they would remain there until Eren wakes up and explains everything to them.</p><p>It wasn’t a big cottage, nor was it claustrophobic-small, it had two bedrooms, one of them was basically the attic -with a squeaky, barely-holding-itself staircase leading up to it- one living room, and a kitchen. They all had to share one cramped bathroom.</p><p>The construction wasn’t pathetically old, but it had been abandoned for some time, the lonely couch in the living room would dip deeper than a normal one when someone sat on it, the kitchen’s rusty cabinets doors were better detached, their squeaking would wake up the whole forest in an instant.</p><p>Mikasa would sit by the bed where Eren was resting, still unconscious, while everyone was somewhere in the cottage, trying to make the place as hospitable as they could with minimal supplies and zero mental power.</p><p>Well, since captain Levi was staying with them; everyone had to work hard to get this place to his cleaning standards.</p><p>However, Armin would forget all his troubles when he saw Annie around her father, well, she was always around him, but when he’d kiss her forehead or when she’d hug him, Armin would feel lighter, and a smile would pull at his lips.</p><p>Armin never saw Annie this carefree ever before, in fact, nor did anyone else, not even Reiner, for he himself wouldn’t bother to hide his astonished face when he’d catch Annie’s affection towards her father.</p><p>It was a tiny liberal vent to have at least someone genuinely happy and relieved, it absorbed some of the negativity in the air that was straining their minds into a choppy, dry sponge.</p><p>It was their third day at the cottage, while they were having dinner, that Annie addressed them for the first time in a while when she said: “I just realized that I’ve never introduced any of you to my father properly.”</p><p>The clattering of the utensils stopped, and no one said anything, and it’s not like they had any idea how to begin.</p><p>Hanji let out a light laugh, put down the crooked spoon they had in their hands, and said: “Well, my name is Hanji Zoe and I’m the 14<sup>th</sup> commander of the scouts, I mean, if the system is still running that is,” they cleared their throat, “nice to meet you, Mr. Leonhart.”</p><p>Mr. Leonhart nodded his head, and a small smile grazed his lips.</p><p>“We’re not very much fun to be around, so I hope we could get you as comfortable as we could, so, uh, welcome to the island.” Hanji continued, before holding their spoon again and resuming eating their meal.</p><p>Hanji’s introduction encouraged everyone to start talking, each of them introducing themselves, and the atmosphere morphed into one of a friendly dinner, it was the first time they spoke like they used to since they got to the island.</p><p>Scanning the room with her eyes, Annie realized that Armin was nowhere to be seen, she wondered where he was, and why would he miss dinner, well, it’s not like it was a fancy meal, but Hanji’s stew with some bread is extravagant juxtaposed to an empty stomach.</p><p>“Where’s Armin?” Annie asked Gabi, who was sitting beside her.</p><p>“I think he went outside, saying he needed fresh air.” She answered, her voice overthrown by the heated yet friendly discussion that erupted between Hanji and Pieck, before munching on a piece of bread.</p><p>“Is that so…” Annie fiddled with her fingers before she got up, wrapped some bread with a cloth, her father looked at her questionably, so she whispered in his ear: “I’ll be right back.” He nodded, and she left.</p><p>Annie searched around the cottage for Armin, but he was nowhere to be seen, so, she sat off through the forest, looking for him.</p><p>Annie didn’t take long to spot him; they had found a stream nearby, so she decided to search there first, also, the screams Armin was shouting didn’t make him quite hard to find.</p><p>Annie lurked around the trees, peaking through branches and taking wavering and inaudible steps, then she hid behind a bush, observing and not moving a muscle, she couldn’t see Armin’s face; his back was to her.</p><p>Armin screamed on and on, stretching his arms upwards, his lungs felt like they ignited and were on fire, but he still screamed, his vocal cords could tear, but he didn’t care about it. His cries the only other voice beside the stream and the crickets of night insects.</p><p>Armin needed to let out some of the stress that was weighing him down, and it’s not like he’s composed like others and could handle everything with a stoic face, he had to let it out somehow.</p><p>His mind railed over the people he left dinning in that cottage, he could no longer look at Mikasa and smile knowing that their childhood friend had almost destroyed the world and now was shut-eye in a bedroom unconscious for the past three days.</p><p>Armin could no longer look at any of them, nevertheless, think with a straight mind, he was clueless as to what happened and to what was to come.</p><p>He had to let it out.</p><p>When his voice faded, and it was painful to swallow, he collapsed on the dirt, dipping his toes in the cold, running water, closed his eyes, took deep breaths, and waited for his cords to heal to go for another round.</p><p>“Are you done yet?” A voice he knew too well said from behind.</p><p>The corners of Armin’s lips twitched, he splashed water; shivering from the cold: “I was planning on screaming some more, wanna join me, Mikasa?” his voice hoarse, cracking as steam erupted from his mouth.</p><p>“My throat would bleed, and I can’t heal it as fast as you could.”</p><p>Mikasa walked to Armin, and squatted next to him, they sat in silence, none of them speaking for a while.</p><p>Then Mikasa wrapped her arm around Armin’s shoulder, and he leaned into her embrace, Mikasa rubbed circles on his back and sighed, they both were lost, and nothing could ever fix what they’ve been through…</p><p>“This brings back memories,” Armin said, his eyes following a tiny golden fish swimming against the flow, he felt Mikasa nodding next to him.</p><p>“Maybe we could get those old days back.” Mikasa pondered.</p><p>“Yeah,” Armin absent mindedly agreed with her, then he flipped what she said in his head, over and over, and then blurted out: “yeah, yeah,” his voice gained confidence with every passing second, “Mikasa, why not?” He pulled away to look into her eyes; they held bewilderment, and that made the tip of Armin’s lips lift upwards.</p><p>“Why not?” Armin continued, “we can do whatever we want when all of this is over, we sure as hell deserve it, don’t we?”</p><p>“Y-yeah.” Mikasa stuttered, not sure from where this sudden enthusiasm came from.</p><p>Armin shifted his position, and was on his knees in front of Mikasa, he clamped her hands in his. Without breaking eye contact, he went on: “There are many places, that we could explore, or we could stay warm in some cozy, lovely house,” Armin shifted closer to her, “we deserve our own happy ending, don’t we?”</p><p>Mikasa’s lips parted in astonishment, she couldn’t pinpoint the line between desperation and resolve in Armin’s voice; however, she squeezed his hands and pulled on half a smile, a smile that meant this happy ending would only happen in another life, but certainly not this.</p><p>Armin’s eyebrows furrowed, and his lips pouted, he was resolute to make Mikasa feel better. So, he stood up, held out his hand to her, Mikasa took it, and without any introductions, Armin put his right hand on her waist, while the other hand held hers up toward the skies.</p><p>Mikasa promptly landed a hand on his shoulder, while the other gently laid upon his, “Armin, what exactly are you doing?” she asked him.</p><p>Armin didn’t answer; instead, he hummed some tune under his breath and started moving his hips.</p><p>Mikasa, having no idea what was going on, followed Armin with hesitant movements, then, his crooning turned into a silly jazzy combination of ‘dun dun’ and ‘tara tara,’ his voice getting louder and louder and his movements more imbecile and funnier.</p><p>Mikasa held in her laughter, biting her lower lip; Armin being silly isn’t a sight anyone would see occasionally, and when he did an exaggeratedly dramatic twirl, she couldn’t hold it in any longer; she let out a loud, chirping laugh.</p><p>Armin chuckled in return, and he felt a weight left off his chest, <em>I didn’t get a chance to apologize to her after all,</em> and he twirled Mikasa around, her skirt flowing around her, <em>and uh God she’s so beautiful, she didn’t deserve any of the horrific stuff that she went through.</em></p><p>Mikasa twirled once again, and when she faced Armin, she noticed that his smile wasn’t as wide as it was a moment before, she looked at him in confusion before he stepped closer to her and wrapped his arms around her.</p><p>Mikasa didn’t expect that, but she hugged him back, resting her head on his shoulder. Armin swayed with Mikasa, resuming his humming, though the tune is supposed to be cheerful, his voice cracked, and the song sounded ominous and dreary.</p><p>Armin tangled his fingers in Mikasa’s short hair, ruffling it a bit, and he sensed Mikasa wrapping her arms tighter around him.</p><p>Mikasa heard Armin humming actual words, they were incoherent, and she had to focus on decoding them, but once she did, she couldn’t overlook them: “I’m sorry, oh I’m so sorry…”</p><p>Armin’s apologies stabbed into Mikasa’s heart, swift and unnoticeable, leaving her with tight lungs and trembling limbs. Her breath hitched in her throat, and soon, tears were spilling uncontrollably from her eyes, Armin shuddered, and she heard his own labored breathing.</p><p>Soon, the tunes drifted with the wind, and the pair fell to the ground, their grip only tighter around each other, as they cried their grief out, their own sobs cutting through the air, and the ambient nature only seemed to quiet down and listen to their mourning.</p><p>Annie watched from behind the bush, not making a sound, and when she saw both of them crumble to the ground, she decided it was her cue to get back to the cottage.</p><p>However, Annie couldn’t step inside; instead, she walked to a mountain of log beside the cottage and leaned against it, looking at her feet, moving the dirt beneath her shoes, then she looked up to the sky, the full moon peaked at her between the clouds…</p><p>The blue light immersed Annie’s surroundings, how the stars shone so bright but yet dull with the moon taking the spotlight, no one would look for the stars when the moon is out, she thought, <em>right?</em></p><p>Annie heard footsteps approaching her, she tilted her head down and saw Armin, hand in hand with Mikasa, were approaching the cottage.</p><p>
  <em>How long have I been out here?</em>
</p><p>Annie wanted to run into the cottage, but something screwed her legs in her spot, and she couldn’t move a muscle; instead, she waited until they noticed her presence.</p><p>Armin and Mikasa stood in front of Annie, Mikasa nodded, acknowledging Annie’s presence, and Annie nodded in return. At the same time, Armin was more verbal and said: “Oh, hey Annie, what are you doing outside?”</p><p>“Could ask you the same question,” Annie answered, crossing her arms.</p><p>Armin smiled, though the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Mikasa glanced between the two, then she let go of Armin’s hand and told them that she’s heading inside.</p><p>Armin and Annie stood there, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, not knowing what to say, then he noticed a cloth tied in a knot by Annie’s foot, something wrapped in it, he asked: “Were you planning to go somewhere?”</p><p>“No,” Annie answered, not realizing that Armin was referring to the bread she packed for him.</p><p>“Well then, may I ask what you have in that?” Armin inquired, pointing to the sack.</p><p>Annie looked down to it, and she immediately said: “There is some bread in there, thought I’d eat some out here, but I’m not hungry anymore,” she kneeled down and picked it up, producing a piece of freshly baked bread, though it turned cold, “you wanna have some?” Annie offered it to Armin.</p><p>Armin couldn’t hide his hunger, as his stomach growled. He took the bread gladly from Annie’s hand, taking a bite; it wasn’t the best bread he ever had, but considering that they were in a remote cottage in the mountains, this was the best they could ask for.</p><p>At least the airplane was packed with portions, and they were glad for that.</p><p>Annie made space for Armin to lean against the log beside her, she admired her surroundings while he munched on the bread.</p><p>“Armin, I think you deserve happiness,” Annie said out of the blue, her eyes scanning the sky.</p><p>Armin stopped chewing and turned his head towards Annie, not sure if he heard her or was just imagining it, but there was no one outside but them…</p><p>Armin swallowed, then said: “Uh, well thanks,” he looked up to where Annie was looking, “I think you deserve happiness too.”</p><p>Annie blinked; she didn’t say anything.</p><p>“You’re finally reunited with your father, now you can live the rest of your life by his side, right? Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted, Annie?” Armin said, imitating Annie and crossing his arms.</p><p>“I guess you’re right…” Annie agreed with him, eyes still aimed at the sky. She caressed the ring around her finger, turning it…</p><p>Silence draped over them, both watching the dark blanket upon them with jewelry scattered on it, but that one big diamond stealing all the glory to itself.</p><p>A ting of guilt nagged at her, she was so lost in the happiness bubble that she forgot about the bigger picture, where everyone was conflicted, barely slept, and had a ticking bomb in their hands with nothing they could do about it.</p><p>She glanced at Armin, he was watching the sky, just like her, and she wondered what kind of matters were swarming inside his head, an urge itched at her hand to reach out into his skull and pull out all the tangled thoughts fizzing inside it, and blow them away into the night, to get them lost forever.</p><p>Annie looked down at her hand, she unconsciously took off her ring, its shining rim between her thumb and finger, glistening, hiding the catastrophes it’s capable of.</p><p>Armin felt a hand close around his own, he looked down, and saw Annie securing his fingers around something small and warm, before she retreated and looked into his eyes. He shot her a confused look, he brought his fist closer to his face, and when he opened it, his lips parted in shock.</p><p>A circle of metal rested on his palm, still warm from Annie’s fingers.</p><p>“Isn’t this… your ring?” He asked her the obvious as he inspected it.</p><p>“It is, and…” Annie swallowed, “it got me to where I am, I guess, you… might need it,” <em>no he wouldn’t, he got his own ring, you dumbass-</em></p><p>Annie imagined her jaw dropping to the ground when Armin silently slid her ring on his finger, he stretched his hand and observed it for a second, before he reached into his pocket and pulled out something.</p><p>He stretched his hand towards her right hand, his eyes locking with her, and when she didn’t’ back away, he held her hand, and slid something cold around her finger.</p><p>Annie looked down and-</p><p>A ring, almost identical to hers, wrapped around her finger, where her ring used to be.</p><p>“Then, I want you to take mine,” Armin said, his voice low.</p><p>a cold waft ruffled Annie’s hair, golden leaves swirling around them, and Annie heard her heart’s beats in her ears.</p><p>She wanted to reject the ring, it wasn’t about him, he shouldn’t give her something in return, something to keep her hanging on false hope and fantasies that only happened in fairy tales-</p><p>“Ahem.” Someone cleared their throat.</p><p>Armin and Annie startled and whipped their heads toward the source.</p><p>It was Mr. Leonhart.</p><p>Armin immediately stood erect, his fingers crushing the bread in his hold, his thoughts rampaged into his skull, and sudden nervousness rushed down his spine. For a moment, he thought he should probably salute him or something, luckily, Annie broke his perplexing thoughts:</p><p>“Oh, father, are you done eating?” Annie asked, not budging.</p><p>“Oh, yes, Hanji’s cooking is… unique, indeed.” Mr. Leonhart answered, then his eyes landed on Armin, “oh, Annie, you never introduced me to this young man, am I wrong?” Mr. Leonhart inquired, stepping closer to the pair.</p><p>“You’re not, his name is Armin Arlert, the Brainiac.” Annie casually acknowledged Armin.</p><p>“U-uh, yes! That’s my name! I mean my name is Arlert, Armin Arlert,” Armin stuttered, suddenly, he didn’t know what to do with his arms, so he stretched one out and said, his words overlapping: “it’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Leonhart!”</p><p>Mr. Leonhart took Armin’s hand in his, shook it twice, then, instead of letting it go, he placed his other hand over it, clasping Armin’s fingers in a warm, calloused grip, “oh, I must’ve heard about you from Reiner, the guy with wits no one compared to.” He probably was informed about how the survey corps exposed the Female Titan, but he didn’t elaborate on the topic.</p><p>Armin’s cheeks heated up, but Mr. Leonhart clamping hands grounded him, and he looked into the man’s eyes, and, even though he’s not Annie’s biological father, Armin still got the same aura from them.</p><p>“Well, Arlert, it’s a pleasure meeting you,” Mr. Leonhart let go of Armin’s hand, “I hope you don’t mind me calling you by your surname, but your first name sounds like a name your grandfather would choose.”</p><p>Armin chuckled, a smile remained on his face, “You’re exactly right.” Armin looked at Annie, his eyebrows rose a little when he saw her tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, trying to hide a blush dusting her cheeks.</p><p>The door of the cottage slammed open, and a disturbed figure came rushing out, looking towards the darkness of the forest.</p><p>“Armin! Are you here?!” Shrieked a panicked Connie, making all of them jump.</p><p>“Connie!” Armin shouted, waving his arm to get Connie’s attention, “what happen-”</p><p>“Eren’s awake.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I either have a very short chapter or a very long ass one, no in-between<br/>I hope you're enjoying this story!!<br/>Armin and Mikasa's scene made me cry while writing it... yeah I get emotional over my babies...<br/>I want to thank @madninive for being soooo supportive and just an amazing human being, she helped me out so much with this chapter, so thank you for existing and putting up with me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Armin pushed past Connie, hastening inside the cottage. Annie, Mr. Leonhart and Connie followed suit.</p><p>Armin had his hand on the doorknob of Eren’s room, right before he turned it, someone from inside beat him to it, and it was Mikasa.</p><p>Mikasa stood at the threshold, her back erected and stiff, Armin put his hands on her shoulder, he looked into her eyes, he saw how life was absorbed away from them, they seemed void, lifeless.</p><p>“Mikasa! What happened? Are you okay? Is he okay?!” Armin panicked, hands trembling, but Mikasa didn’t answer him, she didn’t even look into his eyes, her sight seemed… indistinct.</p><p>“Mikasa!” Armin shouted her name, and that finally woke her up from her trance. Immediately, her eyes changed, the pupils grew wider, and she shuddered, hugging herself.</p><p>“I’ll stay with her,” Annie volunteered, stepping forward and putting an arm on Mikasa’s back, guiding her to the dining table.</p><p>Armin nodded and rushed inside the room.</p><p>Everyone loomed around the bed where Eren was barely sitting up, no one spoke.</p><p>“Eren…” Armin muttered under his breath, he took a few steps closer, everyone making way for him, he said Eren’s name a couple of times, but Eren didn’t acknowledge him.</p><p>Armin sat beside Eren on the bed, dodging his head to look into Eren’s eyes, trying to get anything out of him, but Eren only stared at his hands in his lap.</p><p>“Eren,” Armin called once more, but to no avail.</p><p>“He’s not responding to anyone,” Hanji said, their voice somewhat frustrated.</p><p>Armin sighed, not knowing what to do, caressing the bed sheets around him… but then he remembered how Mikasa looked like a few moments ago…</p><p>Mikasa knew something.</p><p>But if Eren didn’t say anything, then how…</p><p>Armin’s eyes shone, and he knew exactly what to do.</p><p>Armin stretched his hand, reaching for Eren’s hands in his lap.</p><p>And touched it.</p><p>Armin stopped breathing as a memory after a memory played in his head, Zeke and Eren were in the paths, and a little girl was heading towards a glowing tree. Another little girl being eaten by dogs, then a blond woman was pushed off the wall and turning into a smiling titan…</p><p>Eren’s mom being devoured by that Smiling Titan.</p><p>Grisha under the Reiss church killing Rod’s family, then crying out Eren’s name.</p><p>Armin knew that these were the Attack Titan memories, he experienced this feeling from time to time; seeing Bert’s memories, but this time it was overwhelming, he felt dizzy and had to steady himself, or he’d fall off the bed.</p><p>Then he saw something…</p><p>Something that he was sure never happened before.</p><p>Armin saw himself, a teary smile on his face, wearing a suit, standing on an altar by the shore on the ocean.</p><p>Armin jolted back, jerking his head backward as air pierced his lungs.</p><p>Connie pushed passed everyone and kneeled beside Armin, his hand on Armin’s knee: “Armin! Hey buddy! Are you okay?!” Connie said, concern and fear lacing his voice.</p><p>Armin looked at Connie.</p><p>But didn’t say anything.</p><p>Instead, he silently stood up, walked out of the room, looked for where Mikasa was and pulled a chair next to her.</p><p>Annie was sitting on Mikasa’s other side, her eyes widened when she saw how pale Armin’s skin was, she wanted to ask about Eren, but the look in his eyes told her that she should save it for later.</p><p>Armin reached to where Mikasa’s hand was on the table and took it in his, Mikasa lifted her head to look at him, her movements excruciatingly slow.</p><p>They didn’t need to exchange any words, for both saw everything and were no longer left in the darkness.</p><p>Then a smile pulled at Armin’s lips, and Mikasa smiled in return.</p><p>Soon, their smiles turned into grins, and chuckles fled from them.</p><p>Tears of joy prickled at the brim of their eyes as they laughed and held their hands tighter.</p><p>“Just what the hell is going on with them?” Connie asked what everyone was thinking.</p><p>It’s about time they’ve lost their minds, everyone thought, as Mikasa and Armin kept on laughing.</p><p>~~~</p><p>“Historia gave birth, didn’t she?” Eren asked, not directing his question to anyone in particular.</p><p>Eren was still in bed, everyone standing or sitting somewhere in the room around him, they all listened to him explain everything…</p><p>“Eren… you’ve done all of this… just to save the founder?” Hanji said, sitting on a chair right next to Eren’s bed.</p><p>“Yes.” Eren whispered.</p><p>“And you’re saying that Ymir, the founder, was resurrected as Historia’s newborn?” Even though Hanji was saying this out loud, they still couldn’t believe it.</p><p>“Yes,” Eren answered, his voice low and tired.</p><p>“And now, the founder is free, and she made… changes? Eldians can no longer turn into titans, and…”</p><p>“Ymir’s curse is lifted off Titans holders.” Eren finished for Hanji.</p><p>No one knew what to add to the conversation; Instead, each of them drowned into their own thoughts, Armin leaning against the furthest wall from Eren, Mikasa on a chair next to Armin, she had the scarf on her lap.</p><p>“I…” Eren broke the silence, and everyone looked at him, “I can’t ask for forgiveness, what I did… it is unatonable, and I accept whatever you choose to do with me now.”</p><p>Mikasa swallowed a thick lump that formed in her throat, her fingers trembled the tiniest bit, no one noticed the conflict she was going through except for Armin, who watched her fingers tremulously fuddling with her scarf, her eyes blinking rapidly.</p><p>Armin couldn’t just ask her to leave the room or get some fresh air, he barely prohibited himself from crouching down and holding her hands; something inside him told him that she didn’t need advice or comfort, all she needed was some time to think this through and come up with her own decision.</p><p>“You are… a bastard…” Jean breathed through his teeth, clenching his jaw, “do you have any idea how much blood was spilled because you acted of your own fucking mind?” Jean stood up, his fists clenching at his sides.</p><p>“Jean,” Armin called his name, trying to anchor him back, Armin stood alarmed; Jean was unpredictable when he sees red.</p><p>"We killed kids, we killed innocent people,” Jean took a step forward, and Eren didn’t even flinch, he merely lifted his head up, locking eyes with Jean, “S-Sasha died! We couldn’t heal her in time! She didn’t have the freaky titan powers you have!”</p><p>Anger boiled inside Jean’s vein.</p><p>Before anyone could react, Jean launched at Eren, punching him in the face.</p><p>A tooth flew out of Eren’s mouth, trickling blood on his cheeks and dripping off his jaw, he didn’t try to defend himself in any way. Eren’s face was still facing sideways, awaiting more beating.</p><p>No one tried to stop Jean.</p><p>However, Jean didn’t hit Eren again, he merely turned around, and said: “I’m done with this fucker,” and walked out the room.</p><p>Armin glanced at Mikasa, who was clutching her scarf so tight, white streaking her knuckles.</p><p>Hanji sighed, putting their head in their hands: “I… have no idea, what to do, what to do with you, with me, with the rest, with…”</p><p>“Historia.” Levi finished, standing on the other side of Eren’s bed, his injuries were healing fine, allowing him to stand for short intervals.</p><p>“I suggest we head off to her, if not all of us, at least two should go check on her,” Armin said, looking at the steam emitting from Eren’s mouth.</p><p>Wait.</p><p>Steam.</p><p>Titan’s steam.</p><p>“Eren… you still have your powers?” Armin tentatively asked him, and that made Hanji whip their head up and stare at the steam too.</p><p>“I do, so do all of you.” Eren simply answered.</p><p>The wheels started spinning in Armin’s head; if the Titan shifters still have their powers, that means that the world would never unsee them as a threat.</p><p>But if the Eldians can no longer turn into pure titans, that means that the nine Titans power could no longer be transferred to other holders.</p><p>“So the only solution is for all of us to be executed,” Armin concluded out loud.</p><p>“What?” Mikasa breathed out, her expression out of disbelief and confusion.</p><p>“But…” Armin attempted to continue, but he stopped, for he had no idea how to express this out loud. His eyes locked with Annie’s from across the room, she, too, was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed, Reiner squatting beside her.</p><p>Insignificance on Annie’s face made Armin avert his gaze from her.</p><p>Eren showed Armin in his memories things that never happened before, and Armin was sure that Mikasa had experienced this too.</p><p>Eren disclosed to them that the Attack titan could see memories from the future…</p><p>But why didn’t Eren mention the whole future memories thing to the others?</p><p>“Fake death,” Hanji said out loud suddenly.</p><p>Armin was thoughtful for a moment before he nodded hesitantly in agreement.</p><p>“So, you’re saying that the only way we can make peace with the world is to fake death all of the titan shifters?” Levi summarized.</p><p>“Yes, that’s the only way…” Armin confirmed, though one last thing was nagging at him, “Eren, where’s Zeke?”</p><p>Eren was silent.</p><p>Hanji’s eyebrows scrunched together, and they wondered out loud. “You’re right, we didn’t see you with him, did he run away-”</p><p>“He died.” Eren announced.</p><p>No one knew what to say to this, they didn’t know if they should offer their condolences to Eren, but they also didn’t know what kind of relationship the two had.</p><p>So, one after the other, they stepped outside the room, leaving Armin, who was still standing, and Mikasa sitting on the chair.</p><p>No one dared to say anything, they just held their places, not looking at each other.</p><p>It was weird, Armin thought, this was the first time they had a chance to actually talk to Eren after he belittle and hurt both him and Mikasa at the restaurant, and Armin already created speeches inside his head about how he’d confront Eren.</p><p>But now that the chance offered itself, Armin couldn’t bring himself to utter a word.</p><p>Armin also wanted to let Mikasa lead the way, if there was anyone who should slap Eren across the face and stomp on his stomach, it was her.</p><p>But Mikasa didn’t utter a word either.</p><p>Armin swallowed, a headache already starting to make him fuzzy, and he felt a sudden need to see Annie.</p><p>“I’m…” Mikasa said, taking a deep breath as she stood up, “I’m going outside,” she declared, then folded the scarf on the chair, and left it behind her.</p><p>Mikasa left the room, soon after, Armin followed suit, leaving Eren, who couldn’t hold his sobs in any longer, crying alone in the empty room.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>psssttt<br/>follow me on tumblr if you're interested in seeing fanarts or you simply want to chat!</p><p>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mimiwrites2000</p><p>chapter 131 came out and now that Aruani is finally canon.,, I don't know yall I still can't believe it.</p><p>btw, I've reached about 35k words in my documents in this story, and I'm kinda slow in updates because this is the first time I post an incomplete story, so I always fear to run out of chapters to post (?) so I try to write more than I edit... yeah ok I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it! feedback is always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Since the cottage didn’t have enough rooms for everyone, they had to share rooms to sleep.</p><p>In fact, the place only held two bedrooms, one was occupied with an injured Levi, the other where Eren was staying, however, the living room, which is the same as the dining room, was spacious enough for all of them to lay out their sleeping bags next to each other.</p><p>They decided that once the sun rose, Hanji, Eren, Mikasa, and Jean would head off to where Historia is; the plan is to get her to safety as fast as possible.</p><p>Even though Armin should be sleeping, he couldn’t close his eyes; he was worried sick about Mikasa, she slept next to him, her back turned to him,</p><p>Armin’s arms were tied, he couldn’t do anything but stare at Mikasa’s back, his heart would plummet to the bottom of his stomach when he sees her scrunched form shaking and listen to her silent weeps.</p><p>But Armin couldn’t help but sneak looks every now and then at Annie and her father, the only two who had not a hair space between their sleeping bags, their fingers intertwining.</p><p><em>Everyone is busy with their own world,</em> Armin thought, before he drifted into an uneasy slumber.</p><p>~~~</p><p>The next morning, Jean and Hanji got the horses ready, Armin packed them some rations, while Mikasa avoided Eren at all costs.</p><p>They sat off, leaving the rest with nothing to do but talk and know each other better, even though it was hardly the time for it. However, their relationship did wax into a welcoming companionship, and the atmosphere felt lighter after everyone accepted the other, if not entirely yet, but certainly better than a few weeks ago.</p><p>It was ultimately the opposite with Hanji and the rest.</p><p>Jean took the lead, not glancing at Eren, as if he didn’t look at him and acted like he didn’t exist, Eren would eventually disappear. Hanji rode beside Eren, while Mikasa took the rear.</p><p>It took them a whole day to get to where Historia was staying.</p><p>Mikasa knocked at the door, and a baby cried in response.</p><p>They stepped inside the little old house when a guy -they’ve never seen before- opened the door, a small, cozy living room greeted them, then they were led to a similar-in-the-coziness bedroom.</p><p>Historia was sitting on a bed with a newborn in her arms.</p><p>Mikasa rushed to her, hugged both Historia and the baby, wrappings her arms around them tenderly, then she looked at the newborn, the girl newborn, and brushed the few baby strands of hair out of her small, chubby face.</p><p>Mikasa awed at the baby; for a moment, she felt <em>normal</em>, just a normal girl visiting her friend who gave birth to her first baby.</p><p>But this newborn was far away from ordinary.</p><p>It was the founder.</p><p>Historia acknowledged everyone in the room with a nod, but she froze when she saw Eren, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she fluttered them open and said: “Are you satisfied now, Eren?”</p><p>Eren looked into Historia’s eyes and answered: “I’m glad that you’re fine, Historia.”</p><p>Historia only stared at his lifeless, turquoise eyes, before her sight turned blurry with unshed tears, she shook her head and stood up, walking to Eren and handing him the baby.</p><p>With careful hands, Eren lifted the baby to his shoulder, and she willingly laid her head on it, closing her eyes and drifting into a peaceful sleep.</p><p>Eren patted her back and said: “Now you’re finally free.”</p><p>~~~</p><p>Armin sat outside the cottage, his knees close to his chest and his hands dangling between them. He didn’t mind the dirt underneath him, how cobbles poked uncomfortably at his thighs, but concern was the only thing preoccupying his mind; the group’s trip was supposed to take three days, but it’s been five days since they left…</p><p>Armin sighed, trying to contain himself, there was nothing they can do but wait, and each passing moment tortured Armin to the bones.</p><p>Mikasa was far from fine when she left with them.</p><p>And no one really knows what’s on Eren’s mind.</p><p>“You could turn into stone here, and no one would notice.”</p><p>Armin looked behind him; Annie stood there, her arms crossed, he smiled, though he didn’t exactly get what she meant.</p><p>“Staying outside and not eating enough won’t bring them back faster, you know that,” Annie said as she sat beside Armin, “it’s not like <em>you </em>can afford losing any muscle mass.”</p><p>Armin glanced at her, then looked back at the horizon; the sight was genuinely breathtaking, the sun going down behind the mountains, stretching far into the boundless vastness, no walls to be seen, the peachy sky with grey clouds scattered upon it. If they were in other circumstances, Armin would’ve probably enjoyed his stay there.</p><p>“There’s a place on the continent…” Annie said, “and… it probably has one of the best sunset views ever,” Annie hugged her knees and placed her chin on them.</p><p>“Oh… is that so…” Armin wondered, then his lips twitched upwards, “tell me more about it.”</p><p>“Well, I’ve been there only twice, but I could never forget it, it was… a waterfall, the place was known for its five waterfalls. I only got to see three waterfalls, they say the last waterfall is cursed, no one ever came back from it…”</p><p>“You don’t believe that, do you?”</p><p>Annie rolled her eyes, earning a small chuckle from Armin. She went on, explaining what the place looked like, and Armin listened intently, inserting his own comments when he found suitable.</p><p>Armin made out that Annie isn’t the best with descriptive talk, he had to ask for details, or she’d never actually mention them, but he still admired that she, even though would never admit it, was trying to give his mind a rest.</p><p>It helped.</p><p>A spark was lit deep in him that was long put out, and the enthusiasm he had to explore new places was ignited again, and maybe, just maybe, he could actually make that dream come true…</p><p>Annie went on describing other places that Armin never read about in his grandfather’s books, sights with remarkable history or just overall marvelous scenes.</p><p>“You know what, Annie,” Armin said, after a moment of silence, “I think that…” he stopped, trying to think out his words.</p><p>
  <em>I want to see the world with you…</em>
</p><p>For some reason, Annie’s heart beat a little bit faster, she was surprised at her own reaction, and she was somewhat anticipating something. Annie didn’t know exactly what she was waiting for, but she couldn’t calm down her heart and her breathing was going out of control.</p><p>But Armin couldn’t get the chance to finish his sentence.</p><p>Six figures showed on the horizon, and Armin immediately stood alerted, Annie following him.</p><p>“I’ll go tell the others,” Annie said and rushed inside the cottage, leaving Armin standing there.</p><p>He didn’t wait for Annie or the others to get out, since the figures were getting closer, and it became clear who they were.</p><p>Hanji in the lead, with Jean, Mikasa, Eren, Historia, and another guy he had never seen before, each was riding a horse, and by the slow pace they were holding, Armin assumed that everything was fine.</p><p>Moments later, they all were sitting in the living room, Hitstoria, being the center of attention with her baby.</p><p>Armin looked around the living room; Connie was making silly faces to make the small Ymir laugh, while Jean scolded him and accused him of scaring her. Gabi and Falco were all over the baby too, and when she cried, Levi volunteered to hold her…</p><p>Everyone was surprised to find out that Levi was <em>good</em> with kids; the moment Ymir was in his arms, she calmed down and was fast asleep.</p><p>Hanji laughed, breaking the shocked silence, then everyone else was laughing alongside with them.</p><p>To say that warmth rushed into Armin would be an understatement; the family-like atmosphere and how everyone enjoyed their time together was something he was aching for without actually realizing it.</p><p>But of course, nothing is perfect in this life.</p><p>And Armin was reminded of that when he saw Mikasa leaning against a wall in the room, the farthest place away from Eren, before she simply straightened up and headed for the door.</p><p>Armin stopped Mikasa by her sleeve and asked her if something was wrong, but Mikasa being, well, Mikasa, said she was fine and just wanted some air.</p><p>Moments later, Armin saw Eren heading outside too.</p><p>Armin shifted in his spot, and Jean must’ve noticed Armin’s uncertainties and the absence of both Mikasa and Eren, for he came to stand beside Armin and said: “You trust her with him?”</p><p>Armin didn’t answer right away, the last thing he wanted was to meddle with a hopeless love triangle; however, he replied: “I don’t think he can hurt her more than he already did.”</p><p>“That bastard…” Jean muttered under his breath as he strolled into the kitchen.</p><p>Annie enjoyed their new company, and she was glad that Historia didn’t talk to her any differently than she used in their training days, it was a relief for her; she didn’t want tension to rise again.</p><p>Annie would stare at the baby, not in a creepy way, but with wonderment. When Historia sighted Annie’s lingering glances on small Ymir, she smiled and asked her if she wanted to hold her, but Annie declined, saying she can’t trust herself with a baby in her arms.</p><p>“I hate to talk about this right now, but, uh, we kinda need a plan,” Hanji announced, everyone wavering their attention from Ymir for once.</p><p>But no one had anything to say, all of them were drenched in exhaustion, and it would be a lie to deny that every single one of them didn’t consider staying in this cottage forever; serenity and joyfulness, a simple life.</p><p>“I don’t think there’s much we can do, except show up and tell the truth,” Pieck said.</p><p>“What? I thought we decided to declare the death of all titan shifters?” Connie asked her, the atmosphere became solemn.</p><p>“We’re gonna say <em>our</em> truth, and the titan shifters should live undercover for the rest of their lives.” Pieck continued, looking at Hanji.</p><p>Hanji rubbed their hands together, contemplating their words: “Even if we do that, would it be enough for the world to not destroy us? Marley’s army is wiped out… but if the world’s forces were merged together…”</p><p>“It won’t just solve everything alright,” Armin said, the wheels in his tactician mind started spinning, “but, if the rest of the Tybur family would confirm what Eren said to the Eldians, and how Marley’s army worked with the scouts, I think we’d have a chance,” silence covered them, making Armin’s insecurities come rushing back at him: “aren’t the Tyburs a trusted source?”</p><p>“True,” Reiner agreed, nodding his head, “but…”</p><p>“But what?” Connie asked, getting impatient.</p><p>“The Marleyan army you’re talking about consists of four titan shifters, and since we’re all dead, what other witness do we have?” Reiner continued.</p><p>“Are you belittling the commander, Reiner?” Magath declared, though he already knew that wasn’t what Reiner meant.</p><p>“I…” Armin started, looking at the floor, his posture, and the way he was hesitant to say what was on his mind was enough evidence that he had already come up with a plan.</p><p>“Armin, what are you thinking?” Asked Hanji, trying to make Armin spill it out.</p><p>“Well… since we’re faking Eren’s death and all of the titan shifters too… why can’t we also say that the commander of the Survey Corps of Eldia and Marley’s Commander, are the ones who delivered the last blow on Eren? If the world sees Commander Hanji and Commander Magath side by side, there might be a chance that they would believe us.”</p><p>No one knew what to say for a moment, everyone thinking of the pros and cons of what Armin had just said, until Hanji declared: “Well, it’s not like we have any other choice, we’ll head out tomorrow, and see what happens.”</p><p>“What about the Eldians who saw Eren?” Jean commented as he walked back into the living room, nudging his head toward the door where Eren and Mikasa didn’t return yet, “do you think they recognized Eren?”</p><p>“They must’ve known who he was, yes,” Magath sighed, well, that was a thing they didn’t think about.</p><p>“If…” Armin started, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, “if Eren can control the founder… he can manipulate their memories.”</p><p>Jean’s eyebrows arched upwards, Hanji looked at Armin, and he could bury himself alive or could do anything else to stop them from staring at him.</p><p>“I-I know it’s inhumane to temper with someone’s memories, I-I know that! But…” Armin found himself defending his idea, he looked at Annie, who sat on the couch beside her father, her arms crossed, but the expression on her face… she looked like she found her keys in the sofa.</p><p>“Listen,” Armin straightened up, holding up his hands in front of him, “I know- we know, the wall Eldians, we know how it feels like to have our memories wiped out, we do, but what else could we-”</p><p>The door opened, and a very miserable Mikasa walked in.</p><p>She was pale and stiff, her hands visibly trembling, and her eyes blood-red. Jean hurried to her, and when he tried to touch her shoulders, she flinched away.</p><p>“Are you ok? What happened to you?” Jean asked, worry lacing his tone, his arms still stretched out but not touching Mikasa.</p><p>Mikasa forced a smile on her face, and with a hoarse voice she said: “I’m fine, I just need some rest.” And she went into one of the bedrooms in the cottage.</p><p>Jean turned; intending to go after Mikasa, but Historia’s voice halted him: “Leave her, at least for the moment.”</p><p>Jean halted in his place, tilting his head down, his hands balled into fists dangling by his sides, the veins in his biceps popping out, then in a moment, something flashed in him, and he marched towards the door.</p><p>Armin stepped in front of him, calling out his name, hindering him from going outside; if Jean met with Eren in his current state, one of them would get severely injured.</p><p>“Don’t go, I’ll talk to him,” Armin said, and without waiting for an answer, he turned the knob and rushed to the stream nearby, he knew that’s the place Eren would be found.</p><p>It’s not like Armin wasn’t furious himself, he might as well explode, he had no idea what was wrong with Mikasa, but he was sure that Eren had to do something with it.</p><p>Armin took deep breaths as he got closer to the stream, trying to clear his mind and not let anger cloud his thinking; he just wanted to talk to Eren, that’s all.</p><p>They didn’t get a chance to talk anyway.</p><p>Armin pushed through branches, and when the stream was visible, he slowed down; Eren sat exactly where Armin sat the other day, and he remembered himself dancing with Mikasa, emotions got over him, and <em>maybe it is good to get emotional now, right?</em></p><p>Taking a deep breath, Armin took off towards Eren.</p><p>Armin stood behind Eren, not really knowing from where to start, so he simply announced his appearance: “What did you do to her?”</p><p>Eren didn’t fidget, and for some reason, Armin felt like Eren already knew that he would show up.</p><p>Armin took a step forward, repeating his question, and emphasizing every word.</p><p>“I proposed to her.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't know either</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You did what?!” Armin’s eyes widened, he thought he didn’t hear right because there was no way Eren actually-</p>
<p>“I asked her to marry me,” Eren said once again, not turning or moving in the slightest.</p>
<p>“Are you fucking serious?!” Armin paced around, his hands on his head, his eyes flickering to Eren then to the sky then to the ground.</p>
<p>“What were you thinking?” Armin asked, appalled and at the same time grateful that he was the one in this situation; not Jean. Armin took two steps forward, sat beside Eren, more like dropped beside him, and for the first time got a good look of his face.</p>
<p>Eren’s beard was growing out, though uneven; some places on his chin were empty, <em>or did he pluck these hairs out?</em> His hair was growing past his shoulders. He had a poker face on, and that frustrated Armin even more.</p>
<p>“Did you really…” Armin said through his teeth, surprised that his own voice sounded breathy and compressed, “d-did you really think she’d just… she’d just say yes?!”</p>
<p>Eren didn’t respond, but he did fidget for the first time, and Armin could tell that he was getting uncomfortable. Armin wanted Eren to beg the earth to split and swallow him.</p>
<p>“Eren, you’re… you’re…” Armin was trying to look for a suitable word, but his mind went blank, and he couldn’t think of anything to say, so he blurted out: “y-you’re stupid!”</p>
<p>Eren cracked a smirk at that, the corners of his eyes crinkled, and Armin noticed that his eyes were blood shot, just like Mikasa’s.</p>
<p>“Okay, uh, w-what else did you say to her?” Armin asked, both his hands on his head, ruffling his hair.</p>
<p>Eren took a few seconds to answer, as if he was having trouble remembering: “I apologized to her.”</p>
<p>“Yeah no shit! You don’t say you actually did that!”</p>
<p>Eren didn’t reply to Armin’s sarcastic comment, instead he watched the stream, a golden fish was thrashing its tail against the flow, fighting versus the undeterred water, flipping on its back countless times.</p>
<p>Armin wanted Eren to look him straight in the eyes and tell him that all of this is a joke, but Eren didn’t, and Armin had no idea what he was supposed to do with him.</p>
<p>“At least… you could’ve at least waited! you can’t just straight up ask her <em>that</em>. God, Eren I know you’re a hopeless romantic, but that’s just… stupid!”</p>
<p>“Well, I don’t really know what to do!” Eren said, exasperation interfering with his monotone voice.</p>
<p>“You could’ve asked for advice, dammit!”</p>
<p>“Advice?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know! Anything! But not straight up proposing!” Armin took a deep breath, “you know Jean is waiting for a chance to kill you, and you just gave him the perfect opening.”</p>
<p>“You think he’s better for Mikasa, don’t you?” Eren asked out of nowhere, chewing on the inside of his cheek, making his cheekbones prominent.</p>
<p>“I…” started Armin, but he didn’t know how to finish his sentence, “I don’t know…”</p>
<p>“We both know that Jean would treat Mikasa better, he’d never hurt her like I did,” Eren hugged his knees to his chest, burying his face between them, he looked small and weak.</p>
<p>Armin’s lips opened the tiniest bit at how Eren’s hunched back reminded him of their days on the streets, before they joined the training corps. Back then, Eren was just a weak kid with anger boiling inside of him.</p>
<p>Chaotic times, but much simpler than these days.</p>
<p>Armin closed his eyes, let out a long sigh, then said: “Jean would never hurt Mikasa in any way, everyone knows that.”</p>
<p>Eren sank more into himself.</p>
<p>“But,” Armin continued, “it’s not about Jean, it’s about Mikasa, she’d never want to be with Jean, because…” Armin rolled his eyes over his own feeble choice of words, “everyone knows… how much she cares for you.”</p>
<p>After a few moments of silence, Eren sighed, the sigh weighted and labored, then he whispered: “I’m not begging for atonement, what I did is… irredeemable, but…” He threw his hands in the air, “Mikasa has nothing to do with it! I-”</p>
<p>Eren stopped, he looked at his hands, those hands that did horrible, atrocious acts. Red moisture oozed from between his fingers, tracking down a path of crimson down his wrist.</p>
<p>
  <em>Thud, thud…</em>
</p>
<p>They dripped on the dirt, puddling into a damp darkened spot.</p>
<p>Eren swallowed and shook his head; <em>this is not real</em>. He lowered them, tilting his head down to his feet, and whispered: “I just want to make it up for her…”</p>
<p>The sounds of the stream accompanied with the wind rustling the leaves, creating a harmony, a tone orchestrated by nature… forming a relatively calming blend.</p>
<p>“Would you forgive me?” Eren asked, his eyes not wavering from the rocks underneath his shoes.</p>
<p>Armin wondered; would he be able to forgive Eren? Can he forget what happened and move forward?</p>
<p>Did he <em>want</em> to forgive Eren?</p>
<p>Armin’s eyes darted to the stream, the golden fish was still fighting the current, writhing in the water, until another golden fish wrestled its way to it, then nudged it with its head several times. Then, both turned and swam together with the stream, further away from Eren and Armin, where the water wasn’t violent, but it was tranquil and undisturbed.</p>
<p>“I’ll try…” Armin finally answered, still watching the trace of the two golden fishes. He confessed these words from the bottom of his heart, no lies, just a naked truth.</p>
<p>“Thanks…” Eren muttered, hugging himself.</p>
<p>Insecurity and uncertainty draped over Eren. Armin gawked at him, dozens of questions swirling in his head about the rumbling, the founder, the past and the future, but at the same time he had the sudden urge to hug Eren and forget all about it. Instead, Armin stretched a hand and patted Eren twice on the back.</p>
<p>“So, uh…” Armin started, the memory he saw also took a considerate space in his mind; the one with himself standing on an altar by the beach, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it, so he dodged his own thoughts and resumed: “did you had a ring?”</p>
<p>Not the best dodge.</p>
<p>Eren snorted, and Armin saw him smiling the first genuine smile in months, if not years.</p>
<p>They spoke with hushed voices, not wanting to disturb the nature around them, and they didn’t get back to the cottage until sunset.</p>
<p>When Armin walked into the cottage with Eren by his side, Jean threw daggers with his eyes at them, Armin rose his eyebrows, gesturing for Jean to not do anything reckless, but he didn’t seem like he planned anything; Mikasa probably told him so.</p>
<p>The next morning, Magath, Hanji and Gabi sat off towards the harbor, leaving the rest with nothing to do but wait.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>Annie had a plenty of time on her hands to observe everyone as much as she wanted.</p>
<p>Connie was remarkably taller; she vividly remembers him being the dwarf of the 104<sup>th</sup> squad. Jean’s long hair suited him, and he looked older than his age, he looked like the type of guy to live in a fancy apartment and have wine on breakfast on Mondays.</p>
<p>Mikasa seemed… charming, but now it’s more prominent than ever, her hair alone was gorgeous, and Annie wondered how it would look like if it was longer…</p>
<p>Historia was and would always be the goddess.</p>
<p>Annie tried to avoid Levi as much as she could.</p>
<p>Annie talked to Reiner, but they avoided the heavy topics. An inaudible deal was shared between them to never talk about any sensitive matters, to never talk about what happened after she crystalized herself, about Bert’s death…</p>
<p>Eren was completely different too, the eager kid she remembered seems to have never existed. His forests glinting eyes were substituted with dull orbs, dark circles framing them, protruding them, sinking them more into their sockets, however, he seemed to get his spark back the more he spent time with Armin.</p>
<p>And yeah, Armin.</p>
<p>Now the dwarf of the group.</p>
<p>After some time thinking about it, Annie decided, from behind, he looked like a tough man, with broad shoulders, but the moment he’d turn and she laid her eyes on his face, the 15 years old kid with the weakest muscles is all she could see.</p>
<p>Armin’s face never changed, even with his new haircut, his baby face is something that would never change about him.</p>
<p>Armin would catch Annie staring sometimes; when he’d be sitting up the table, Annie would be on the farthest couch tracking each of his movements, and when Armin catches her, he’d smile and continue whatever he was doing.</p>
<p>Annie wondered if he thought of her as a creep.</p>
<p>But one day, Annie was the one to catch Armin staring.</p>
<p>Annie was outside, it was her turn to hang the laundry, and in the middle of it, she turned around and saw Armin standing at the threshold of the cottage, a basket filled with laundry in his hands. Armin’s cheeks immediately flushed red, and he stuttered some intangible words before he thrusted the basket in Annie’s arms and hurried inside.</p>
<p>It seemed that someone else noticed this ‘glances’ contest going on between them.</p>
<p>Mr. Leonhart.</p>
<p>Incontrovertibly, Mr. Leonhart would never be fine with someone he barely knew glancing at his daughter, and what triggered him more is that his daughter was stealing looks at him too.</p>
<p>And that was the same person who ratted his daughter out four years ago.</p>
<p>One evening, Mr. Leonhart followed Armin outside when he left to get wood for the fire.</p>
<p>“Good evening, young man.” Mr. Leonhart greeted.</p>
<p>Armin jumped and the wood he was carrying fell, missing his toes by an inch, he didn’t bend down to pick them up, instead, he stood erected and stuttered out: “O-oh Mr. Leonhart! Good evening t-to you too!”, his voice was a few notches higher.</p>
<p>“I was meaning to talk to you.” Mr. Leonhart said, one hand behind his back, the other clutched around the cane handle.</p>
<p>“Y-yeah sure! Is something wrong?” Armin rubbed his hands together; it was chilly outside.</p>
<p>“No, nothing is wrong… yet,” Mr. Leonhart took a step forward, “I was just thinking that I should inform you that…” He tapped his cane twice on the dirt, “after all of this is over, me and my daughter, Annie, are going back to Marley. We are aiming to compensate all those lost years and live in peace for the rest of our lives.”</p>
<p>Armin didn’t know what Mr. Leonhart expected him to say: “Yeah, sure, I want Annie to be happy-”</p>
<p>“Annie being happy or not has nothing to do with you, or this place.”</p>
<p>Armin’s brain paused, he blinked thrice trying to catch up with what Mr. Leonhart just chucked at him, he wanted to say something but couldn’t risk it, he knew he would stutter and make a fool of himself.</p>
<p>But when Mr. Leonhart turned his back and walked leisurely to the cottage, his chest puffed up despite leaning on his cane for support, the words flew out of Armin’s mouth, as if he had practiced them a million times before: “Annie’s happiness isn’t associated with someone or with a place, her happiness can only come from within herself.”</p>
<p>Mr. Leonhart halted in his steps, turned his head to the side, examining Armin from the corner of his eyes, but he didn’t reply, he merely drew circles with his cane on the dirt, got a better footing for it, and with deliberate steps, headed inside the cottage, leaving Armin standing there, looking down at the wood scattered by his feet.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>Armin kept an eye on Mikasa, and he realized that he was the only one who knew that Eren proposed to her, but everyone was aware that something was up with her; she was distracted all the time. One time, she almost spilled boiling soup all over herself, after it, no one trusted Mikasa with anything that could hurt her.</p>
<p>Jean was the most irritated about this, but each time he tried to talk it out with Mikasa, she’d politely shove him away, and told him that she’s okay.</p>
<p>Jean never believed her.</p>
<p>The way Mikasa would dodge Eren was almost unbearable, she’d sit on the farthest available spot away from him, never look at his direction or acknowledge him in anyway. She would turn around if she crossed paths with him, she would distract herself with the hem of her shirt if the conversation involved Eren.</p>
<p>Until one night…</p>
<p>Just like they got used to; everyone shared the living room as a bedroom. The only two bedrooms were occupied with the two people in need of a bed; Historia and her kid, and Levi.</p>
<p>As always, Mikasa would lay her sleeping bag in the farthest available spot from Eren.</p>
<p>That night, Armin sleeping with Eren on his side, his mind never shut down, his thoughts were buzzing in his head, one time he would be thinking about Mikasa and Eren…</p>
<p>Armin was clueless of what to do with his two childhood friends, a part of him wanted to lock them in a room until they figured it out, but the other part told him to let them be, maybe it was better if he should let them find their way back to each other, even if it would take years.</p>
<p>Another time Armin would think about Annie, he had so many things to tell her, he wanted to sit by her side all day, he wanted to be with her, but some concealed barrier was holding him back.</p>
<p>Something in him told him to stay away.</p>
<p>And what was he supposed to do with her father?</p>
<p>Armin understood where Mr. Leonhart was coming from; Annie is his only daughter whom whereabouts were unknown for nine years. Any father would be protective over his daughter…</p>
<p>But Armin didn’t want any harm to Annie, hell, he would rather hurt himself than see a tear down her cheeks.</p>
<p>Annie went through enough.</p>
<p>She deserved peace.</p>
<p>She deserved happiness.</p>
<p>And if her happiness meant to stay away from Armin, then he would gladly vanish from her life.</p>
<p>Even if it would shatter him…</p>
<p>Armin’s thoughts would jump to Hanji and the rest who still didn’t come back-</p>
<p>Armin heard the shuffling of someone getting up.</p>
<p>Then he saw Mikasa tiptoe carefully across the room, slithering between sleeping bags, and when she got closer to him, he closed his eyes and pretended to be fast asleep.</p>
<p>However, Mikasa didn’t stop by him, she sneaked to the person sleeping next to him.</p>
<p>Eren.</p>
<p>Mikasa slowly lifted Eren’s blanket and slid beside him. Eren stirred, opening his eyes, which widened the moment he saw Mikasa’s eyes right in front of his face, he blinked twice, not sure if he was still dreaming.</p>
<p>“Mikasa…?” Eren whispered, his voice hoarse and thick with sleep, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion, the pupil in his eyes doubling in size, trying to figure out Mikasa’s silhouette in the pitch-black room.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Mikasa said, her voice a little bit louder than Eren’s.</p>
<p>“Yes…?” he asked, then his eyebrows gradually rose up his forehead.</p>
<p>“I mean… if your… proposal… is still up…” Mikasa said, regret seeped into her mind, snickering in a corner, and she started to question if it was too late now to hop back into her sleeping bag.</p>
<p>“Yes!” Eren said, suddenly enthusiastic, shooting up on his elbow, Mikasa put her finger on his mouth, shushing him, then he laid down again and repeated in a lower voice, nodding his head, “yes, yes...”</p>
<p>Eren glanced at Mikasa’s finger on his mouth, and she immediately withdrew it. Her cheeks were heating up with each time her heart pumped blood into her veins, she didn’t know if Eren could see her face, but she was sure he would feel the heat radiating from the embarrassment she inserted herself in.</p>
<p>Eren’s mouth was agape, he couldn’t see Mikasa in the dark, but he saw the unmistakable shiny black orbs of hers. He kept his hands by his sides, his fingers trembling, yearning to run in her hair. Eren wouldn’t want to creep her away, he still didn’t believe if she was by his side or if his desperate desire to hold her close had finally turned him into a lunatic.</p>
<p>“Good,” Mikasa muttered, she sighed and sank deeper into the blankets, Eren only stared at her, and she avoided his eyes because one look at them and she’d <em>really</em> run back to her own sleeping bag.</p>
<p>A moment of silence passed, Eren’s eyes still wide and unbelieving.</p>
<p>After two hesitant failed attempts, Eren wrapped both his arms around Mikasa, and with equal hesitance, she hugged him back, burying her face in his chest, hiding her flaming cheeks.</p>
<p>Armin heard everything, and he was smiling at himself like an idiot, he was using all the power he had to not shoot up and hug both of his childhood friends.</p>
<p>The fog in Armin’s mind cleared up, and slowly the excitement he felt was wearing off, and sleep was taking over him.</p>
<p>That night, Armin slept with a bunch of ‘I love you’s muttered behind his back until they faded out, and everything was tranquil and quiet.</p>
<p>The next morning, it was a shock, to say the least, for everyone to wake up to Eren and Mikasa sleeping on the same pillow, with their bodies pressed together.</p>
<p>It was Historia who found them; she was an early riser and the first to wake up, and when she checked on everyone else, she noticed that Mikasa’s sleeping bag was vacant.</p>
<p>Historia didn’t give it much thought, Mikasa would probably be outside already, working out or something, but when Historia got to where Eren was sleeping, she saw that he seemed… curled on himself, she got concerned if he was in pain, but she couldn’t tell because the covers were over his face.</p>
<p>Historia crouched beside him and slowly lifted the blanket up.</p>
<p>Her squeal woke Armin up.</p>
<p>Armin shot up from his blankets, ready to strike, but froze when he saw Historia peaking at Eren with her eyes even more significant than they already are, her hand covering her mouth.</p>
<p>Historia only motioned between the two heads under the blanket.</p>
<p>A laugh escaped Armin, and it wasn’t at Historia’s childish behavior; he too felt like squealing, but that Eren and Mikasa were in an unstirred sleep to the point where everyone woke up and was staring at them; they didn’t even fidget.</p>
<p><em>Mikasa wouldn’t look into anyone’s eyes for the next week, probably</em>, Armin thought, folding his blankets.</p>
<p>After the shock wore off, everyone decided that it would be better if they let them sleep some more, they both were undoubtedly sleep deprived for being out of it during all the chaos.</p>
<p>They slept until noon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>uh... are you guys enjoying this?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s been two weeks since Hanji and the rest left.</p><p>The days seemed to stretch into eternity, dinners were tasteless, the nights were colder than they really were, and silence was the default ambience they adapted to.</p><p>The stream became Eren, Mikasa, and Armin’s, most frequently visited place, well, it’s not like they got a variety of options beside the labyrinthine forests and boundless mountains, but it gave them an adequate privacy to discuss things that were better kept concealed from others, for instance, Eren and Mikasa’s engagement.</p><p>They all agreed that postponing the announcement until Hanji and the rest came back was the best choice they could go with, and it also depended on what news Hanji brought back.</p><p>One afternoon, Armin was on his way to the stream in search of his two childhood friends who couldn’t be found anywhere around the cottage. But he halted when he glimpsed them through thick, tangled branches.</p><p>They were sitting by the stream, Mikasa leaning against Eren’s chest, while he caressed strands of her hair between his fingers. They were talking in low, hushed voices, before Mikasa turned her head and pressed her lips against Eren’s.</p><p>Armin turned around and skittered back to the cottage, golden particles of joyfulness flying over his shoulder, mellow grass and flowers’ buds blossoming behind his step. His lips stretched into a beaming grin. From now on, it would be better to rethink his decisions of looking for them each time they disappeared, together.</p><p>Luckily, they didn’t have to try hard in terms of hiding their relationship; both were a shy wreck when surrounded with people. If their hands slightly pumped into each other, they’d profusely apologize with unnecessary politeness. Everyone would shoot them quizzical glances, but eventually, they’d go on with whatever they could do in a cottage discarded in the middle of nowhere.</p><p>Well, except Mikasa and Eren were idiots.</p><p>Due to recent developments, it was a normal occurrence to wake up and find Mikasa in Eren’s sleeping bag, her head snuggled into his chest and his arms wrapped around her waist.</p><p>Annie wondered if they legitimately forgot about the past and decided to start with a new, blank page, or if it was just a passing delusional façade which they were seeking to turn a blind eye on. She couldn’t comprehend how Mikasa forgave Eren for all the unmeasurable suffering he put her through. </p><p>So, one night, while Annie had kitchen duty with Armin, she tentatively asked about them.</p><p>Annie would never forget what Armin said, when he swiveled his eyes to her, a smile on his face, a potato and a knife occupied his hands: “They didn’t.”</p><p>“How is that?” Annie tilted her head to the side, glancing at her ring on Armin’s finger.</p><p>“They didn’t forget about the past. Mikasa isn’t over what Eren put her through, nor is Eren, but…” Armin looked down at the potato clutched between his fingers, it had a nasty brown spot on the side of it, with a swift motion of the knife, Armin cut it off. He didn’t finish his sentence.</p><p>The dinner that night, Mr. Leonhart asked Armin something no one thought would be talked about: “So Arlert.”</p><p>The spoon halted halfway to Armin’s mouth, slight chattering erupting from the table.</p><p>“About the ‘memory altering’ you mentioned the other day,” Mr. Leonhart continued, everyone else stopped chewing, spoons no longer clanking against plates, and a humid waft flew through the opened window, “so Eren,” He nudged his head towards where Eren was sitting, “he is capable of changing memories of the Eldians the way he wants to, am I wrong?”</p><p>Armin swallowed, gently putting down his spoon on the half-eaten plate of the potatoes he pealed with Annie not long ago: “You’re not wrong, but… it’s not about Eren, it’s the power of the founder that Eren happens to be the holder of.”</p><p>“Well that is not very different from what I said.”</p><p>“I’m sorry but I think it is, I mean…” Armin hesitated, he repulsed against fidgeting in his seat, “saying that Eren is the one who alters the memories… makes it sound like he changes memory for his own gain, a complete misuse of the Founder power.”</p><p>Mr. Leonhart arched an eyebrow, chewing slowly on his food. Annie was -as always- sitting by her father, silently observing the conversation.</p><p>“On the other hand,” Armin continued his spiel, he deemed the silence as permission to keep going, “when we say ‘it’s the Founder that’s capable of altering memories, then it’s objective enough to know that it’s not a personal… privilege.”</p><p>Mr. Leonhart leaned forward in his seat: “And why are you calling it a privilege?”</p><p>A spoon clattered on the table, and everyone whipped their heads towards Annie, whom mouth was agape, staring at Armin.</p><p>“I…” Armin began, all eyes swiveling from Annie to him, he glanced at Eren, “I do think it’s a privilege to be able to… change someone’s memories.”</p><p>Connie snorted and shook his head: “How is that even a good thing, Armin? We’ve lived all our lives with lies and you are fine with it? Really?”</p><p>“No, Connie that’s not what I meant-”</p><p>“Connie is right,” Jean interfered, “it’s, and I quote you, ‘inhumane’.”</p><p>“And what if it meant happiness to someone you love?” Armin half-cried out.</p><p>“Even if it meant them forgetting about you?” Mr. Leonhart asked in return.</p><p>“Yes!” Armin’s breath quickened, the ‘yes’ he flung had the weight of detouring future events, and Armin didn’t estimate its heaviness until it came out of his mouth. Mr. Leonhart’s lips twitched in a hasty smirk before his face fell into its passive self.</p><p>With shaking fingers, Armin picked up his spoon and stabbed it into the cooling-down potato chunk. Slowly everyone went back to their prior small talks, though their voices were hushed, and their glances faltering.</p><p>Annie held the spoon that fell out of her hand a few minutes ago, but she didn’t finish her plate.</p><p>Later that night, Mr. Leonhart <em>somehow</em> found Eren, Mikasa, and Armin’s spot at the stream, and he followed Eren and Armin there.</p><p>“Hello there, young men,” Mr. Leonhart emerged, and both Armin and Eren jumped. Armin thought that Mr. Leonhart simply materialized from nothingness, he didn’t hear him coming, and Mr. Leonhart was the last one Armin would expect to go there, well, not with his chronic harmed leg.</p><p>“Is something wrong?” Armin asked, he stood up out of homage for the old man, Eren followed suit.</p><p>Mr. Leonhart let out a breathy chuckle, he cleared his throat endeavoring to hide his labored breathing from a transient journey: “Are bad news the first thing you think of when I show up?”</p><p>Armin didn’t know if Mr. Leonhart was being serious or sarcastic, and it didn’t sound like his tone held good news either.</p><p>“Well,” Mr. Leonhart let out with a sigh, “I am sorry to disturb your evening, but I came here to request something, that I am afraid, can’t be postponed for much longer.”</p><p>Eren looked at Armin from the corner of his eyes; he already told him about his conversation with Mr. Leonhart, how <em>he doesn’t want Armin anywhere near Annie</em>, but Armin didn’t seem like he held any grudge towards the old man, if anything, he told Eren the story from a very understanding point of view.</p><p>“We will do what we can,” Eren took the lead; he deemed that Armin would want him to.</p><p>“Good,” Mr. Leonhart replied, “I would like to ask you to alter my daughter’s memories.”</p><p>Armin’s sight clouded and he was sure he didn’t hear right, Mr. Leonhart could <em>not</em> have just asked Eren to erase Annie’s memories, but when Armin swiveled his head in the direction of Eren, the lines formed between Eren’s eyebrows were enough confirmation.</p><p>Eren’s mouth opened and closed but words didn’t come out, and when silence stretched into an unbearable stillness, Armin said: “I’m sorry, altering whom memories?”</p><p>Mr. Leonhart shot Armin a <em>look </em>with a raised eyebrow, and the anger boiling inside his veins was inevitable.</p><p>“You know Eren can’t just simply-”</p><p>“I believe you are not the one with the Founder, and I believe Eren can speak for himself.”</p><p>The veins in Armin’s forehead became prominent, his hands turning into fists, he chewed on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying anything that would be regrettable, or worse, be held against him in the future.</p><p>But Mr. Leonhart wasn’t giving Armin a rest, he continued: “So Eren, as her father, I think, for her own well-being, starting fresh new would do her good, and I want her to be happy with the rest of her life, to forget the pain she had to go through.”</p><p>Armin took a step forward but Eren held him back from his sleeve: “And what about you? You want to alter your memory too?”</p><p>After a moment of silence, Mr. Leonhart answered with one, truncate answer: “No.”</p><p>Eren let go of Armin’s sleeve: “I think you know that I can’t just use the Founder for personal uses-”</p><p>“You are not, you are using it to save someone’s life,” Mr. Leonhart proudly defended his idea, like there was nothing in the world that could deter his mind, and the pride in his voice made pile rise up Armin’s throat.</p><p>“How in the world would that save a life?” Armin struggled with focusing his eyes on Mr. Leonhart, “how is that not a misuse of power?”</p><p>“Would you not do the same for someone you love?” Mr. Leonhart pivoted, using Armin’s words against him and hitting a nerve in him.</p><p>“It’s unfair to take away all the struggle she went through!” Armin burst, taking a step forward, Eren didn’t stop him this time. Armin’s hands were shaking, power charging into his veins that he could just-</p><p>“So <em>you</em> want <em>her</em> to live in pain for the rest of her life?” The calmness in Mr. Leonhart’s voice only made Armin’s anger burgeon.</p><p>“That pain is what made her Annie, it’s who she is! You’ll rob her off the struggles that made her who she is! The struggles she fought and barely made it through! How would you <em>even</em> think about robbing her off what she deserves credits for?!”</p><p>“You are not saying that out of care for Annie, you just do not want her to forget you.” Mr. Leonhart proclaimed, his nose one with the clouds.</p><p>“N-no-”</p><p>“You do know that if you two met in normal circumstances, you will hardly stand out from the crowd, she would not have bothered acknowledging you,” Mr. Leonhart pointed his cane at Armin, swaying on his spot, “you are aware that you were lucky enough that my daughter even noticed your existence.”</p><p>At that moment, Armin knew what it was like for a flaming arrow to burn through his ribcage and shoot straight into his heart.</p><p>Mr. Leonhart turned his head away from Armin, instead, he looked at Eren and asked: “If it was consensual, then it is not misuse.”</p><p>Eren shook his head, “I… I can’t say-”</p><p>“Sure you can!” Armin wasn’t even trying to control the volume of his voice anymore, “Eren you are the holder of an immense power-”</p><p>The words stopped in Armin’s throat when his eyes met Eren’s.</p><p>When he saw Eren’s softened gaze, his slumped shoulders…</p><p>Armin shook his head: “Y-you can’t be…” his eyes widening the more it sank in, “Eren, don’t tell me…”</p><p>“I…” Eren tilted his head down, took a deep breath and confessed: “I would be lying if I said I didn’t consider it…”</p><p>“That’s- how- no! Just no!”</p><p>“But wouldn’t that save all of you from the struggle?” Eren looked up at Armin, meeting his eyes. He flinched when he saw fury dancing through them, “Armin, listen to me-”</p><p>“If you ever consider tempering with her memories,” Armin wasn’t used to threats dripping from his voice; poison oozing from his teeth onto the ground, acidifying the grass into a dewy mix of a yellow, soggy hodgepodge. He swallowed and started over, a shaking cautionary finger in front of his face: “if you ever consider tempering with her memories, my memories, or anyone else’s, I swear-”</p><p>“You wouldn’t even remember,” Eren stated, as simple as that.</p><p>
  <em>Crack, crack.</em>
</p><p>Armin retreated his steps, his trust in Eren breaking with every step, the shattering sound of it synchronizing with dry twigs snapping under his boots.</p><p>It dawned on him that he could do nothing to stop Eren.</p><p>“And you,” Armin shot his eyes towards Mr. Leonhart, he wished he could be as intimidating as he wanted to, but tears were elevating in his throat, on their way to deluge from his eyes, “You’re not even planning to tell her.”</p><p>Mr. Leonhart didn’t comment on that, nor did he fidget; his face stoic and it was unbearable how he resembled Annie with his stance.</p><p>Armin turned on his spot, and walked away, fuming, tears stinging the edge of his eyes, his throat burning.</p><p>He wasn’t far enough from earshot when Mr. Leonhart said, a smirk evident in his voice: “I would never forget this favor.”</p><p>Armin imagined them shaking hands with a smile plastered on their faces.</p><p>Three days later, Hanji was knocking at the door.</p><p>It was a relief to see Hanji, Magath, Gabi, accompanied by Kiyomi all well and healthy, delivering good news.</p><p>On their way, they got to track down Kiyomi’s whereabouts, since they separated after the battle at the harbor.</p><p>With a slim chance of questioning the location of a nation’s leader without enticing unwanted attention; they succeeded.</p><p>They met at a wheel-less wagon that was used as a local pastries side shop.</p><p>Kiyomi was ahead of them, already planning her next step, so, with the help of her and Magath, they communicated with other political parties and they concluded to peace, since the world’s most empowered army was lost to the dust, they had no other choice but to ceasefire.</p><p>Kiyomi was all over Mikasa when they met, she embraced her in a suffocating hug, crying tears of joy and relief, mumbling things about being worried sick about her and being grateful that she’s well and alive. Mikasa only awkwardly hugged her back.</p><p>The light, newly-casual atmosphere was back, and the stress that was wearing them out was finally thawing.</p><p>~~~</p><p>“So… why did you guys get me here?” Hanji wondered, their hands in their pockets.</p><p>Eren looked over at the stream, then back at Mikasa, none of them knowing how to start the conversation. They’ve decided to tell Hanji first in private and plan out their next step.</p><p>“Um…” Mikasa started, she hoped Armin was with them; he offered to accompany them, but Mikasa and Eren insisted that they could handle it.</p><p>Besides, Mikasa sensed some tension between the two of them; it started the night they went together to the stream, each of them returning to the cottage separately.</p><p>“I was wondering… if a… mini-celebration c-could be held…” Mikasa said after a long pause, she was hesitant to talk about this, but since everything was almost back to normal…</p><p>“What? A celebration for what? To celebrate peace? I mean yeah sure why not-” </p><p>“N-no,” Eren interrupted Hanji, one drop of sweat slid down his forehead, then he gestured for Mikasa to continue.</p><p>Mikasa’s fingers were trembling, she scrubbed her feet together against the dirt and swallowed. She glanced at Eren and whirled of comfort washed over her chest when she saw him nervously smiling at her, and when he nodded, she mustered the courage to let out what she had in the bag.</p><p>“A wedding.”</p><p>Hanji stared at Mikasa, a confused, amused expression on their face as the tip of their lips twitched upwards. Hanji gave Mikasa two marginal head shakes and a knitted-eyebrows.</p><p>Perhaps Mikasa should’ve elaborated more.</p><p>“A wedding…” Hanji repeated slowly, Mikasa nodded in confirmation. Hanji squinted their eyes before they dropped the bomb: “and whom exactly is getting married?” </p><p>Mikasa held her breath in, her tongue turned into a knot in her mouth, it created a coarse lump, and she thought she’s gonna choke on it and die.</p><p>“Mikasa and I…” Eren came to the rescue, Hanji’s eyes swerved to him, and Eren forgot what he wanted to say.</p><p>They made two scenarios of how Hanji would react; they’d either glare them to death, <em>or</em> kick them out of their temporary (or not) residence and threaten to chop off their ears if they ever see them nearby again.</p><p>It was off limits that Hanji would start… cackling.</p><p>At first it was just giggles, then it turned into chuckles, at this point, Eren and Mikasa were thinking if straight up running away was an option- then Hanji was guffawing, stomping their feet on the ground, torrents of tears meandering down their cheeks.</p><p>The laughing ceased into minor hiccups, morphing into respiratory snorts, before Hanji was muffling their mouth with their sleeve, trying to hold in the sobs shaking their body. Hanji’s legs gave out, sprawling on the dirt beneath them.</p><p>The option of running away was thrown out the window as Eren and Mikasa cautiously stepped closer to Hanji, as if they were approaching a ticking bomb. Mikasa put a feathery hand on Hanji’s shoulder, craning her head to the side to get a glimpse at Hanji’s face, but Hanji cloistered it with both their hands, sniffling.</p><p>Mikasa shot a panicked look in the direction of Eren, who shrugged helplessly. <em>If only Armin was here with us.</em></p><p>“I’m really sorry…” Hanji wept out between ceasing-sobs, “it just…”</p><p>“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, we are sorry, it was emotionless of us to-”</p><p>“No! No!” Hanji interrupted Mikasa, finally looking up at her; their cheeks were wet, and their eyes were starting to redden, “it reminded me of Erwin.”</p><p>Eren and Mikasa glanced at each other; bewildered at how this whole marriage spiel reminded Hanji of the past commander.</p><p>“We used to make bets, you know, like really dumb bets about the love lives of others and…” Hanji tilted her head to the sky, watching a white bird soaring over their head, drawing circles in its trace, “and we made a bet about you two.”</p><p>Hanji compelled a breathy laugh, “He bet twenty bucks on you to get together when you turn twenty, and here we are! Now I owe him five bucks!” Hanji spread their arms and yowled at the sky: “even at this you were right!”</p><p>Eren looked at Mikasa, only to see that she was already looking at him, her eyes glistening, the tips of her lips twitched upwards in a sad smile.</p><p>~~~</p><p>Mikasa, Eren, and Hanji have been out for two hours.</p><p>Armin was leaning against the wall beside the window, he kept glancing outside, waiting for the moment they came back.</p><p>When Eren and Mikasa decided to break the ice and announce their relationship, Armin offered to be by their side, but they dismissed him, saying that “we got this.”</p><p><em>Got it my ass, </em>Armin thought<em>, if only they looked at their reflection in the mirror…</em></p><p>Nothing regarding altering Annie’s memories had been said between Armin and Eren, and since Mikasa didn’t interfere, Armin assumed that Eren didn’t mention it to her.</p><p>Armin must talk to Eren, he can’t just let him do it…</p><p>But at the same time, something nagged at Armin’s head…</p><p>It bothered Armin that he was -to some extent- convinced about a ‘new start’ would be good for Annie. He cared so much for her, he wanted her to be happy.</p><p>The logical thinking is to tinker all their memories, they’ve been through hell and back, and not everyone in the world could forget their past, to have the ability to wring away all the taunting bitter life they’ve been through.</p><p>It’s tempting…</p><p>But…</p><p>Armin closed his eyes, he saw himself, his younger self, weeping in his grandfather embrace.</p><p>
  <em>My parents were killed.</em>
</p><p>He saw a colossal titan looming over wall Maria.</p><p>
  <em>I lost my hometown.</em>
</p><p>He remembered when his grandfather gave him his straw hat.</p><p>
  <em>I lost my grandfather.</em>
</p><p>The chill breeze drifting through the window reminded him of his days on the streets.</p><p>
  <em>I was homeless.</em>
</p><p>The stinging ache in his legs and arms and the questionable aroma of the boys’ dorms.</p><p>
  <em>I enrolled in the military and became a soldier.</em>
</p><p>Trost, his first expedition; the bodies of his comrades.</p><p>
  <em>I witnessed my friends die.</em>
</p><p>He remembered vomit burning his throat after the first time he stamped his hands with humans’ blood.</p><p>
  <em>I killed people, I killed people.</em>
</p><p>Shiganshina, Commander Erwin, and Bertolt.</p><p>
  <em>I was burnt alive, then was brought back to life on behalf of two other people.</em>
</p><p>When he transformed at the harbor.</p><p>
  <em>I became a monster.</em>
</p><p>Sasha…</p><p>
  <em>I lost a lot.</em>
</p><p>Eren, Mikasa…</p><p>
  <em>I saw the most important people to me suffer and I couldn’t do anything about it.</em>
</p><p>The rumbling.</p><p>
  <em>I’m not the one who should’ve been revived.</em>
</p><p>And here they are.</p><p>Armin let out a sigh, he saw more than a human being should see in their whole life, and he was, what? Almost twenty years old?</p><p>It’s funny how far life can go with being unfair.</p><p>But…</p><p>Armin clenched his jaw, oh yeah, he saw the worst life could offer, but… it gave him a lot.</p><p>His dreams, the ocean, his childhood friends, his comrades.</p><p>The person he had become…</p><p><em>And you know what? I will never even forget about it, </em>Armin thought, <em>all these struggles? Oh yeah, I totally scraped my teeth against metal to go through it.</em></p><p>
  <em>And you think I’ll just throw it away? To throw away all the pain I got over with? No. way.  </em>
</p><p>But maybe Annie had another perspective, maybe she just…</p><p>
  <em>She won’t remember you, she’d go on with her life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Perhaps she doesn’t want to remember you, maybe it’s better for her to forget, and forget forever.</em>
</p><p>Armin decided that he had enough with his thoughts, he needed a distraction, and at the same moment, Annie sat on the couch across from him.</p><p>Armin sighed for the millionth time, as if letting out the air compressing his lungs would somehow disperse the thoughts crowding his mind. He managed to maneuver his mind into thinking that this was some sort of a sign.</p><p>Since the day Mr. Leonhart had that very first tirade with Armin, he had a hesitant urge to talk out things with Annie, and after Mr. Leonhart’s <em>other</em> talk with Eren and Armin, the itch gotten painfully worse. He wasn’t aware of what exactly needed to be discussed, or how to approach it, but one of the things he was sure would slip off his tongue was <em>why didn’t she tell me she was leaving?</em></p><p>And what frustrated him is that she didn’t even budge about it, like it was nothing!</p><p>Armin took a deep breath; he was going to sit beside her, cut to the chase, ask her about the whole leaving thing and attempt to get to the other ‘memories’ issue.</p><p>… or not, first, he should probably ask about her day, maybe a cup of tea would also be nice, or he could wait for another time where he wasn’t stressed out about-</p><p>The door burst open, and a beaming Hanji stormed into the cottage: “Alright you guys we’re gonna need a big ass cake ready by the evening-”</p><p>“Hanji no wait!” A flustered Mikasa and Eren shrieked, jostling themselves in the door frame.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Historia walked into the living room, her eyes travelled from Annie sitting on the couch, to Armin who was still shock-frozen, to Hanji trying to say something but Mikasa suffocating them with her hands.</p><p>Jean and Connie emerged from the kitchen, holding cups of some steaming beverage, then one after the other, everyone was flowing into the room, even Levi.</p><p>“Would someone care to explain?” Historia asked, her tone on the verge of astonishment and frustration.</p><p>“We… uh…” Eren started, but the dozens of eyes staring into him paralyzed his tongue.</p><p>“We would like to ask for your blessing of our marriage.” Mikasa managed to let out in one go without getting paralyzed herself, earning a panicked glance from Eren, who didn’t expect Mikasa to just announce it like <em>that.</em></p><p>Gabi gasped so loud and covered her mouth with her hand.</p><p>A fatal silence followed.</p><p>A needle drop would be heard through the stillness that swathed them, and maybe they were holding their breaths because it couldn’t be heard either.</p><p>“Well,” Historia started, her tone breathy, she didn’t know what to say, her mouth was open but no words came out, then, she cleared her throat, closed her eyes, took a deep breath that flared her nostrils and caved in the walls, then her eyes fluttered back open. Historia stood at the center of the room, and with her queen voice, she declared: “me, as the Queen of Eldia, would gladly give you my blessings, and I wish you a future filled with happiness.” </p><p>Eren averted his head towards Mikasa; she was chewing on her bottom lip. They looked at each other, then attentively stepped in the direction of Historia, they knelt in front of her, their hands on their hearts.</p><p>Then Historia laughed loudly, breaking her queen demeanor, as she ushered them to their feet and wrapped her arms around them in a ribs-crushing embrace. Mikasa managed a breathy giggle through her compressed lungs.</p><p>Everyone followed suit, giving their blessing with awkward hugs and clumsy handshakes. Eren and Mikasa even got a handshake from Levi, and that was something… right?</p><p>Kiyomi shed some tears as she hugged Mikasa until her face turned blue, and Kiyomi promised her that, if only the circumstances were different, she’d hold a wedding for them that the whole world would be talking about for years.</p><p>Armin was watching from the corner of the room, not budging to lean off the wall. He crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. Armin took a deep breath, relishing this passing moment of content, <em>I did ask for a distraction after all</em>, but when he opened his eyes, he saw twinkling shreds of glass on the floor, splattered by red droplets, Connie rushing outside, following Jean.</p><p>No one seemed to notice that but Armin; the room was lively with talks and plans for the wedding. He peeked from the window and saw Jean wrapping a towel over his right hand, Connie saying something, wearing a mixed expression between distraught and concern.</p><p>When Armin swiveled his eyes back to the room, a pair of icy blue glowered at him from across the room.</p><p>Well, maybe he wasn’t the only one who noticed that after all.</p><p>Annie nudged her head towards the kitchen and went into it, after a minute or so, Armin followed her.</p><p>The kitchen wasn’t as spacious as a proper functional kitchen is supposed to be, its maximum capacity was three people adjoined shoulder to shoulder.</p><p>Annie propped herself against the sink, Armin leaned against the wall opposed from her, he waited for her to say something.</p><p>Annie hugged herself and said: “Do you think it’s a good idea for them to get married now?”</p><p>Armin frowned his eyebrows, his lips twitching into an uncertain smile: “It’s not about what I or anyone else think, it’s about them. If this would make them happy, then why not?”</p><p>“Armin, we’re living in an isolated cottage, the rest of the world assumes that we’re dead, and just the other day we were in the middle of a war.” Annie reasoned.</p><p>“So what? We should sit around and brood about it until we die?” Armin didn’t mean to sound as sarcastic as he did, but Annie didn’t bat an eye about it.</p><p>“Are they ready to throw their past away and start a new life? Just like that?” </p><p>“I can’t see why <em>you</em> would have any problem with that,” Armin shrugged, <em>she does want to forget, and this is a proof</em>, “besides, we’ve already talked about this before.”</p><p>Annie pushed herself off the sink and walked to Armin, who didn’t fidget but locked eyes with her.</p><p>“Do you think they’re in the right state of mind to make a family?” Annie questioned, getting closer to Armin.</p><p>“They can heal together; I know they’ll be there for each other,” Armin answered, he didn’t know where Annie was going with her questions and a part of him wanted her to just <em>stop, </em>he wanted to block his ears, curl in a ball and freeze his mind for a minute, <em>just a minute.</em></p><p>“Is it even possible? And what about Jean? You saw him…”</p><p>“Annie…” Armin’s eyes softened, he let his arms drop at his sides, he said in a tiny voice: “we’re all broken, we’re all damaged. Mikasa and Eren are trying to patch-up each other, <em>together,</em> that’s how they were meant to be since they were nine, and Jean…” <em>don’t say it don’t say it, </em>“he has to let it go.” </p><p>Annie tilted her head up, her arms that hugged herself loosened, but her eyes didn’t deter.</p><p>Armin sighed, pushing himself off the wall and straightening up, he forced a smile and inquired: “Why are you so concerned with them?” </p><p>Annie’s eyes wavered, she swallowed and answered: “I’m not <em>that</em> concerned with them.”</p><p>“You are.” Armin disagreed.</p><p>Annie didn’t say anything back, she just swayed on her legs, sometimes jittering her foot. Armin craning down his neck to look at her was unusual to him, he surely was much taller than her, but seeing her from that angle made her look even more petite than she was.</p><p>Annie turned her head to the side: “Since I’m living here with all of you, I must as well make sure you all-”</p><p>Without thinking, Armin placed two fingers under her chin and spun her head to him.</p><p>Annie’s eyes widened for a mere second, her cheeks heating up. She glanced at his hand and then at his eyes, managing a quizzical eyebrow at him.</p><p>“You didn’t tell me you were leaving…” Armin whispered, a halfhearted smile playing on his lips, and his head dropped down, his bangs falling into his eyes, and Annie held herself from brushing them back.</p><p>
  <em>Leaving?</em>
</p><p>Annie’s eyebrows wrinkled, her head skewed, not really knowing what Armin was referring to-</p><p>“Annie! Come here!” Historia’s voice chirped from the living room, Armin dropped his hand and both him and Annie whipped their head towards the sound.</p><p>Annie glanced at Armin one last time, before she walked out the kitchen.</p><p>However, Armin didn’t move, he leaned back on the wall and crossed his arms, kicking the wall with the heel of his foot.</p><p>Voices erupted from the other room, Reiner’s gruff, deep voice could never be mistaken: “You never told us you were leaving, when are you even planning to?”</p><p>“At least wait until the wedding! It’s gonna be fun!” Historia’s voice rose again.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t get a chance to tell you.” Annie’s voice was finally heard.</p><p>The half-smile that pulled at Armin’s lips dropped, he sighed then pressed his lips together.</p><p>
  <em>Just what exactly was I expecting? </em>
</p><p>Armin pushed himself off the wall, and walked into the living room, noticing that Annie was sitting next to her father, as everyone else’s enthusiastic voices were overlapping.</p><p>However, Armin didn’t see what happened a few minutes ago.</p><p>He didn’t see that Annie was shocked when they asked her why she was leaving, and that she didn’t know how to answer until she looked at her father, who only nodded silently.</p><p>Later that night, everyone was immersed in sleep, slow breaths and quietness.</p><p>But Annie…</p><p>Her eyes snapped open, her breathing quick and unrhythmic, a layer of cold sweat covering her skin. Annie looked around the room, but the pitch-black color didn’t allow her to see anything, as if she didn’t even open her eyes.</p><p>She couldn’t remember what she woke up from, all she knew that it was horrific.</p><p>Annie stood up on shaking knees and tiptoed between sleeping bags relying on her memories of how they lined them up. Trying not to step on anyone’s foot was like eating soup with a fork.</p><p>She kept looking behind her back, as if what she saw in her sleep had come to haunt her in this world too. Each time her toes touched the cold, wooden floor, a blazing fire shot up her spine.</p><p>Once Annie stepped into the kitchen, she closed the door and leaned against it.</p><p>She took deep breaths, choking on the third one as she realized how <em>dry </em>her throat was.</p><p>
  <em>Water, I need water.</em>
</p><p>From the end of the kitchen, Annie heard a <em>chirk</em> of a match being lit, its little spark following before it was a ball of fire illuminating the kitchen.</p><p>Annie startled, inhaling sharply before another gust of air scraped her throat, turning her into a coughing fit that obliged out wheezing sounds, the air squeezing out from her lungs.</p><p>The match got closer to her and Annie could finally see a hand stretched out, carrying a glass of water.</p><p>Annie took it and gulped it down, the thorns in her throat dwindling.</p><p>“I thought you would be up by now.”</p><p>After drinking the water until its last drop, Annie wiped her mouth with her sleeve, while still panting, she said: “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is freaking people out is what you do now, Eren?”</p><p>Eren chuckled with sealed lips, making his laugh sound like water bubbling in a pot, right before it boiled. He started searching in one of the door-less cabinets, internally thanking whoever suggested depositing their rusty doors.</p><p>Soon after, he produced a candle and lit it with the almost-dead match, before he leaned against the sink, looking at Annie, who managed to control her breathing, and was gawking at Eren, like he held a cut limb and not a candle.</p><p>“Well, since you’re here,” Eren started, “I was meaning to talk to you.”</p><p>“And <em>you </em>think now is a good time? In the middle of the night after I almost died, and you scared the shit out of me?”</p><p>“Couldn’t ask for a better opportunity.”</p><p>“Alright I’m out,” Annie cracked the door open, “whatever you have to say, can be said tomorrow-”</p><p>“W-wait,” Eren lurched forward, catching Annie’s hoodie’s cape between his finger, “I-it’s urgent,” He pleaded with his eyes, and Annie rose an eyebrow at him, “it’s about Armin.”</p><p>Annie stopped, a foot outside the kitchen and the other still in. She stared his trespassing hand off her, then slowly closed the door, making sure to not wake anyone up.</p><p>“You want to gossip about Armin with me? Bad choice if you ask me.”</p><p>“Annie, I’m trying to be serious, and I know that you do have your own inquires about him.”</p><p>Annie waited a few seconds before she averted her eyes and muttered: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“Yes you do, and I’ll answer your question, if you answer mine.”</p><p>She was apprehensive for a few moments, and she couldn’t tame the burgeon curiosity clawing its nails in her skull.</p><p>Annie tapped her foot three times: “If only I go first.”</p><p>“Deal.”</p><p>“How did Armin know I was leaving before I knew myself?” Annie let it out in one go before she could allow herself to back away.</p><p>“Your father told him.”</p><p>“What? When-”</p><p>“My turn.”</p><p>Annie rolled her eyes.</p><p>Eren took a step forward and whispered: “Armin will never forgive me… but I have to…” he sighed, “Annie, I need you to listen.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You guys, I’m tearing up as I post this because this took so long to edit, my mind is basically BURNT<br/>Ok so uh, after chapter 132 came out, I kinda… found it hard to write Hanji… in fact, the scene where Hanji screams at the sky, I added it the day before leaks came out and we got the horrific news…<br/>Anyway, I don’t know how to approach this so I’m just gonna jump straight into it<br/>Feedback would be very important to develop this story, after all, I posted it so you guys can get a glimpse into my fucked up mind, and it’s very important to me to know what parts of this story was weak, what parts didn’t make sense, did the characters act in an understandable way in some scenes? Where did I over describe and where did I not describe enough?<br/>Basically, just shoot, I accept criticism whether it’s negative or positive, just SHOOT<br/>Also it would be fun to hear your expectations of how this story might go, since two thirds of it is already written down, it would be really fun to know if we all think the same or not lol<br/>And I would love if any of you would like to chat on tumblr!!<br/>Ok I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far<br/>have a good day/night!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope this long ass chapter will compensate my disappearance<br/>enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stiff</p><p>Cold</p><p>Annie decided that these two words suited her father’s behavior for the past few days.</p><p>He would turn his back to her when they slept, and for the first time since they got to the cottage, he would sit beside her at the table, but his posture would be rigid the whole time.</p><p>He wouldn’t look into her eyes, and he would answer her ‘good morning’s with a curt nod, he would talk to her in succinct sentences, and he would be last to say goodnight.</p><p>He was away, in a far land and Annie couldn’t reach him, and the map she had was written in an alien language; curves and zigzags crossing on it, tangling in a lump of threads of smudgy ink, and Annie can’t identify its head from its toes.</p><p>She doesn’t know<em> how</em> to reach her father.</p><p>And maybe she never would, maybe she never knew who he was in the first place.</p><p>Does Annie know who her father was? Does he know who she was?</p><p>Had they <em>really</em> talked like a father and a daughter should do?</p><p>Annie didn’t consider her time at Marley as a time when she had a “family”, even at dinners back there, her father used to bombard her with the most complicated quizzes about battle tactics and strategies.</p><p>The only time she realized she had someone who cared for her was on her last day at that place.</p><p>But now they needed to talk more than ever.</p><p>Annie was itching to argue, to make her points clear, to hear what he thinks, to understand each other, but she couldn’t bring herself to start the conversation with her father.</p><p>She didn’t want to be the one to start the conversation.</p><p>Annie wanted <em>him</em> to approach her, to tell her he was doing this to be happy with her, because it’s the best for her. And if he did, she would probably agree without batting an eye.</p><p>After all, the only motivation that kept her going in the last decade was her father, the far-fetched wish to live with him in peace, some place where no Marley’s titles or warriors missions existed, where they lived for their day and slept in the night with <em>no fears.</em></p><p>She had dreams about those days, and oh how badly she wanted them… </p><p>All these thoughts rushed into Annie’s head when it was the night before Eren and Mikasa’s wedding, when all the girls were sitting on a bed around Historia and her baby, eyeing layers and layers of the most colorful, silky fabrics Annie ever saw in her life.</p><p>Gabi twirled while holding an orange dress, the skirt flowing around her, and she was laughing, Pieck clapped for her and joined with her laughter.</p><p>Mikasa didn’t stop smiling for the past three days, and Annie never saw the girl this happy ever before, hell, this Mikasa was nowhere close to the Mikasa she called a ‘beast’ during their training days. Mikasa was trying to choose between three white dresses, Historia, as well as Kiyomi, were giving their input on each dress, saying things as ‘this one’s neckline is not for your neck shape’ or ‘this won’t bring out the beauty of your waist’ or even ‘this one would make you look shorter’.</p><p>For Annie, all the dresses looked the same.</p><p>And from Mikasa’s confused glances, she, too, couldn’t see the ammunition Historia was blasting the dresses with.</p><p>Mikasa had some otherworldly luck to have Kiyomi, all the wedding wouldn’t have been held without her help.</p><p>Who else other than Kiyomi would have gotten all these dresses and the other preparations in a post- apocalyptic situation, and made the bride not feel less than a noble daughter’s wedding?</p><p>These soldiers and warriors finally got a moment where they can do what was for their delight, no war, no missions, just getting ready for a party in a faraway cottage in some place in the vast mountains.</p><p>
  <em>A party, huh…</em>
</p><p>Annie wondered, as she flipped through her options, her <em>many</em> options.</p><p>She caressed a pink dress, the silk of it soft against her palm, gold emblazoning it in spattered dots...</p><p>They never held any parties at their training days at Marley as well as on Paradise, in fact, Annie had <em>never</em> gone to a party before.</p><p>All her childhood was spent kicking at dummies and training until she coughed blood and her ankles would twist with every step she took. And when she was a teenager, when her peers would be acting like their age, going out, getting into trouble, meddle with <em>boys- </em>Annie was sneaking into the sewers of Sina to get information on the monarchy.</p><p>And then she spent four full years suspended in clear crystal, hearing the tales of a boy with once a big dream…</p><p>And here she was, not able to look into his eyes.</p><p>Annie’s fingers wouldn’t be enough to count the times in her crystal when she wished she could open her eyes, to crack them open enough to peer into Armin’s ocean ones, to answer his questions, to ask him questions, to raise her voice and stomp her feet and scream at him, or to just nod at anything he says.</p><p>Now she got him in her arm reach, where she could extend her finger tips and hold him, to caress his cheeks and run her fingers through his golden hair, to gaze into his endless ocean eyes and get lost in them, not having a worry in the whole world about finding her way back; no mission, no Marley, no Paradise.</p><p>But she shouldn’t.</p><p>Annie must stay away from him.</p><p>Selfishness was engraved into her mind since she was a kid, and that self-indulgent tumor grew up with her until the day she parted from Marley, it was the only time in her life that she got someone else aside from her own.</p><p>Then she saw a world caged in three gargantuan walls, where people were as oblivious to the outside world as a fly unaware of the hand that would swat it in less than a second.</p><p>She was on a mission to kill those people.</p><p>To end countless, innocent lives just because the rest of the world decided to.</p><p>And that awakened something in her, some emotion that she didn’t know was hidden inside of her.</p><p>And her selfishness only inflated more, it’s membrane stretching into a thin, transparent layer, threatening to rupture any time, and all Annie thought about was damn this world, damn these walls, and damn all these people, I just want to go back home, the only place where I belong.</p><p>Annie was aware of how far her selfishness could go, and she didn’t want to get Armin entangled within its threads…</p><p>She has no other choice but to go with what Eren told her a few nights ago.</p><p>Annie had to take a deep breath to muster all the self-resistance stamina she had left to not groan out loud and lob herself down on the bed. She distracted herself by looking outside the window, where a figure stood, facing the endless mountains.</p><p>It was then that Annie noticed that it was already sunset; the orange sky streaked with pink reflected its rays into the room, creating a warm combination of colors, casting shadows on the carpet. The light angle made halos around dust particles dancing in the air, they almost looked like golden dust, and it stunningly framed the figure standing outside.</p><p>It wasn’t hard to figure out who it was; blond hair, short, and dreamy.</p><p>It no longer surprised Annie that each time she thought of Armin, he materializes before her eyes from thin air. If Annie believed in signs, she would’ve thrown all these dresses away, jumped through the window, and tackled him to the ground in a hug.</p><p>And maybe she would kiss him.</p><p>Annie shuddered at the thought.</p><p>She was carried far away, and she must anchor herself down.</p><p>“Annie!” Historia shrieked and any straying thoughts scurried out Annie’s head.</p><p>Historia walked to the window and closed the curtain, sheltering Armin from Annie’s eyes. Historia huffed: “You’re distracted! This is the fifth time I call you!”</p><p>“Uh, sorry.”</p><p>“Did you choose a dress.”</p><p>Ah shit, Annie looked around, and saw each girl holding a dress in her arms.</p><p>Annie dived her hand in the pile of clothes and fished out a blue dress, without a second thought, she decided: “This one.”</p><p>~~~</p><p>The girls had been in Historia’s room for a few hours, they closed the door shut after Kiyomi walked in with bags lining up from her wrists until her elbows.</p><p>All thanks to Kiyomi, the atmosphere had morphed into an enthusiastic, before-wedding milieu, and the tension they greeted Eren and Mikasa’s wedding announcement with was disintegrating into light crumbles, flying away with the breeze.</p><p>Oh this fresh, chill breeze would certainly be one thing Armin would miss about this place. </p><p><em>Who would’ve thought life would be so laid-back here? </em>Armin thought as he stood outside the cottage, eyeing the outlines of the mountains, contrasting against the yellow sky, streaks of grey clouds scattered upon it, peachy-like hue dusting its soft arcs.</p><p>The likelihood of staying at such a serene yet thrilling place perhaps would tend to zero if it wasn’t for the recent <em>unfortunate </em>events, Armin was miraculously given a chance to know these people, to have time to reflect on what was important in his life, and to be lucky enough to see his friends being happy and in love.</p><p>His childhood friends were getting married the very next day…</p><p>
  <em>Here we go again…</em>
</p><p>Armin groaned as his thoughts veered towards <em>that </em>someone.</p><p>
  <em>She will no longer remember you.</em>
</p><p>Armin sighed, familiar with the next destination his brain was stopping at.</p><p>
  <em>Why are you so concerned if she remembers you or not?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re being selfish.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You said yourself that her happiness would come from within herself!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then why “remembering” would have the tiniest bit of importance?</em>
</p><p>The nauseating maze-like spirals of thoughts had been swirling inside Armin’s mind for the past few nights, and no matter how long he searched, he could never find the portal out of it.</p><p>That is until he heard the <em>click</em> of the door behind him, harbingering the arrival of someone, but Armin didn’t bother to turn around, he merely kept looking forward, admiring the view.</p><p>“It’s a nice place, isn’t it?” </p><p>Armin didn’t turn his head; his muscles were frozen-shock after he heard that voice, he looked at the man beside him, <em>and what the hell was Mr. Leonhart doing outside?</em></p><p>Armin thought Mr. Leonhart wouldn’t want to see his face ever again, that he wanted to leave and rub the memory of Armin out of the folds in his brain. Armin glanced at him from the corner of his eye; his signature cane clutched into his hand as he watched the sun going down, and if it wasn’t that Armin knew who this man was, he would’ve mistaken him to be a character in one of the books his grandfather used to read to him when he was a child.</p><p>A character with peace trailing behind them, someone with a serene life in some cottage who spends their day watering their flowers and going for walks by the river, talks to birds and feed wolves.</p><p>An elderly man who appreciates in life what others are too blind to see. His slightly hunched back embodies an evidence that life wasn’t a motherly-kind experience to him.</p><p>The sympathy people feel for older people trickled down Armin’s chest, and he had a sudden curiosity gnawing at his stomach to dig deep into this man's head, to garner enough memories to comprehend his choice with altering Annie’s memories.</p><p>What were the <em>exact</em> memories Mr. Leonhart wanted to shred to pieces and dust into unremarkable ashes? And why?</p><p>“My leg,” Mr. Leonhart spoke, he probably decided that Armin wouldn’t invite him to a conversation no matter how long he stood there beside him, “it has a story of its own, a story I am not so proud of.”</p><p>
  <em>What? You tripped on the stairs? What an inspiring backstory you’ve got.</em>
</p><p>Armin held his tongue from letting that out, he had enough trouble with this man to make him not even think of meddling with him in any way possible-</p><p>Armin turned his head to look at him, a ting of fear travelled from the tips of his fingers to the brink of his button nose that Mr. Leonhart could read minds.</p><p>However, when he found out that Mr. Leonhart was already watching him, a thought rolled into his mind that Mr. Leonhart could read eyes, he can dive deep into them, reach the bottom of them and seize the treasure hidden in their entrails.</p><p>“This injured leg… is the fruit of Annie’s training,” a small prideful smile danced on Mr. Leonhart's lips, and Armin’s eyebrows rose under his bangs; he was irritated by his own visible curiosity to hear the rest of the story.</p><p>“Annie… she used to train from dawn until dusk, her determination never wavering whatsoever, each evening her kicks were stronger than they were in the morning, she had the ability to keep going, never stopping,” Mr. Leonhart was quiet for some time, then, as if he organized his words into a queue before letting them out of his mouth: “poor Annie, I was never easy on her, I kept pushing her, edging her over her stretching limits over and over and over…”</p><p>Mr. Leonhart stopped talking, his tone was sealed with finality, and Armin smelled the qualm that chained Mr. Leonhart tongue onto the roof of his throat; he was having second thoughts about letting Armin into this part of Annie’s past.</p><p>But from the brief encounters he had with Mr. Leonhart, Armin was aware that he is a man of a word; if he sets his mind to do something, he would do it, no matter the cost. If he took a step, then it was commenced after a thorough tactical strategy, that was filtered through his mind enough times to have emphatic consequences.</p><p>He was revealing this to Armin for a reason.</p><p>“I was a horrible father, and it finally backfired at me. One day, I was, as always, working her to the bones. I remember how cold it was, it was so cold that I couldn’t feel the tips of my toes. Annie was kicking at the dummies, and she stopped, she was panting, and… I provoked her,” the smile dropped off Mr. Leonhart face.</p><p>“I told her that with such a performance, she would never fulfill her mission, the mission she was born to complete, that she will never be a warrior,” Mr. Leonhart exhaled, “before I knew it, she was kicking at my leg, and she was screaming, screaming in a way I’ve never heard before.”</p><p>Mr. Leonhart stopped once more, and Armin realized that his pauses were as calculated as his words.</p><p>The pause did its charm on Armin, it gave this new fact enough time to sink in, settling in and decaying into powder before it dissolved into a moisture, Armin’s sponge-brain absorbing every last bit of it.</p><p>Annie was the reason behind Mr. Leonhart inseparable cane.</p><p>This man, who wasn’t her <em>real </em>father, trained her since she was a child to be a weapon.</p><p>A weapon.</p><p>That’s what Annie believed she was her whole life.</p><p>And here he stood, her father, admiring the darkening sky as he narrated his anecdote to a stranger.</p><p>“She drove her feet into my shin, again and again and again, I cannot even remember when she stopped,” Mr. Leonhart chuckled, but its sound was out of the place, an extraneous addition, “the pain was unbearable, I had to go see a doctor.”</p><p>“What did you do to her after that?” Armin was flabbergasted as the question slipped unwillingly off his tongue, but he couldn’t hold himself back.</p><p>“Nothing,” Mr. Leonhart lingered his gaze on Armin, the dumbfounded expression on Armin’s face made him chuckle once again, but this time it sounded candid; not forced.</p><p>Armin bashfully averted his eyes, he felt like a kid in his own skin.</p><p>“I could not be prouder; my daughter was strong enough to protect herself.”</p><p>Armin thought the smile that stretched on Mr. Leonhart was out of habit whenever he talked about Annie.</p><p>This story that Armin thought -at the beginning- was an superfluous tale of an old man with regret flowing out his heart was all but a way to pave his amends path with his daughter, to ease the dull ache left from his atrocious acts towards Annie.</p><p>Memories flashed before Armin’s eyes, memories from a few weeks ago, when Annie was miraculously saved, when she told him how she parted from her father after he dropped to his knees and apologized.</p><p>How he begged her to come back.</p><p>How she promised him…</p><p>“Arlert,” Mr. Leonhart anchored Armin down from his thoughts, and with his eyes, he asked Armin a question.</p><p>
  <em>Do you see now?</em>
</p><p>Armin didn’t answer him, but he had a million answers rummaging through his head, banging against his skull, looking for a chink in the unyielding bone to break through and seep outside.</p><p>“She went through more than she would ever let on,” Mr. Leonhart didn’t state anything more than a clincher, Annie wasn’t the talkative type in the first place, and Armin doubted that she would ever tell him more about her past life.</p><p>He knew, he already knew how her life was disastrous and unfair to her, he was well aware that she went through hell and back.</p><p>But hearing her story from another perspective, from the one who occupied a major piece in her life… it held another tone to it, a tone of a fairytale, ones who have sad ending, where the heroes die before reaching their goals.</p><p>
  <em>But what if it meant happiness for someone you love?</em>
</p><p>Armin’s own words echoed within his mind, resonating with the only truth possible.</p><p>Annie is the <em>someone </em>Mr. Leonhart loves.</p><p>There was nowhere around it.</p><p>And when you love someone, you crawl to them, you ask for their forgiveness, and you spend your whole life absorbed in them.</p><p>“I met Annie when I was twelve,” Armin found himself telling his own side of the story, he wasn’t sure if Mr. Leonhart would listen, but he was sure that if he didn’t want to hear him, he will make it loud and clear.</p><p>The silence prompted Armin to resume narrating his tale: “She was… different,” Annie’s stoic, bored face, in a training corps uniform flashed in front of his eyes, “her skills were outstanding, everyone thought she was some invincible human.”</p><p>Mr. Leonhart hummed, and that let Armin know that in the warrior training unit; she had the same reputation.</p><p>“Annie didn’t shine in teamwork though, she was… aloof,” Armin shrugged, lacking other words to describe Annie’s social life back then, “but, no matter how skillful her kicks were, she was bad at hiding her nice side.”</p><p>Invisible chains sprouted from under Armin’s feet and held him back from talking in such a point-blank way about Annie, he wasn’t even sure if he should talk about her in the presence of her father, or if he should talk about her at all.</p><p>“What else?” Mr. Leonhart asked, and that was enough to loosen the almost-suffocating chains around Armin, it was enough permission to keep going.</p><p>“She was caring and considerate, even if she would never admit that, she even risked her own life to save Connie and Jean and the others several times, and considering her mission, she could’ve… let them die.”</p><p>He was reminded of Annie at Trost, before her real identity was exposed.</p><p>Armin shook his head slightly, “It’s not just that, while training, yeah she used to be recluse, avoiding as much interaction as was possible to pass the training, but I’ve seen her frantic eyes when someone got injured. I… one time, I broke my leg, she didn’t leave my bedside until it was curfew,” Armin swallowed, remembering those days made his heart clench in his chest.</p><p>Armin looked down and swept his foot on the dirt one time, the cleats on the sole of his military boot leaving paths in its trace, he tilted his head up and gazed into the horizon, a dark blue gradually enveloping it, the stars faintly announcing their arrival, waiting for pitch-black darkness to show off their glinting beauty.</p><p>Armin concentrated his eyes at one single star; its luminosity more intense than its peers ringing it, standing out of the crowd, then with a slow pace, Armin warily said: “She spared my life… twice.”</p><p>Maybe Mr. Leonhart came out there to glean something out of Armin, however, Armin had no idea what it could be that Mr. Leonhart was fishing for, but he kept going on with his story, consequences be damned.</p><p>“If she killed me, she might’ve… completed her mission, but…” Armin recalled the mountains of wreckage in Stohess, the exacerbated results of a battle that they were too wishful to avoid. Even though it happened some time ago, there was one detail Armin could never overlook.</p><p>At one point, Annie had Eren right in her hands, she could’ve easily bitten him off his titan form and <em>then </em>climbed the wall, and Armin was almost certain that they wouldn’t be able to stop her, however, she didn’t.</p><p>She ran away.</p><p>Leaving her target behind her, even though she was a finger-length away from it.</p><p>“A new life is waiting for Annie,” Mr. Leonhart said, “she is still young and has all of her life to spend as she wants to.”</p><p>“I wonder if it’s that easy to move on,” Armin wondered, and he wasn’t trying to stir up an argument with Mr. Leonhart, he was just voicing his thoughts out loud.</p><p>“She can, and she will, besides, I already thought of a new residence.”</p><p>“Is that so?”</p><p>“Yes, and… I’m not sure if it is going to work out, but I might introduce her to her real parents.”</p><p>Armin clinched his eyebrows, if he knew Annie well, he could predict that she wouldn’t want to meet them. Armin opened his mouth to ask, but Mr. Leonhart interrupted him.</p><p>“You’re an eccentric man, Arlert.” Mr. Leonhart commented, and Armin blinked three times.</p><p>Mr. Leonhart didn’t elaborate, he merely turned around, walking into the cottage, leaving a bewildered Armin behind his back.</p><p>~~~</p><p>Kiyomi promised to get the wedding arrangements as fast as possible.</p><p>It took her only four days.</p><p>The wedding day has arrived, and as Kiyomi promised, the preparation for the wedding made it feel almost like a typical wedding, well, as typical as a runaways’ weddings could get; even though Eren and Mikasa protested saying that it was really unnecessary to even hold an actual wedding, but Kiyomi insisted, and they couldn’t be more grateful.</p><p>It was a change of mood, how the guys would shove Eren into the room whenever he tried to get out, try to convince him with “If you see the bride before the wedding, it will summon bad luck! And you two had enough of this!”, so Eren would surrender, busying himself with fixing his hair for the millionth time since the morning.</p><p>The guys had never, ever leisurely taken their time to get ready; Kiyomi got them suits that were more extravagant that anything they ever wore before, even though Kiyomi apologized countless times for ‘not being enough’.</p><p>Let’s just say that it was a hurdle to snatch Connie away from the mirror.</p><p>“You’ve been flexing since you got into that suit, notice that we all are wearing suits, but none of us did what you’re doing,” Armin said, as he fixed his tie in the right place around the collar; if he was honest, he’d just wring it out the window; it was choking him, he wasn’t used to wearing any of this.</p><p>“Oh, come on, Armin! It’s not like we hold a wedding every day!” Connie complained, flexing one more and winking at his reflection in the mirror before he turned to Armin, catching him in the middle of an eyeroll.</p><p>Connie’s lips curled into a crooked smirk, one eyebrow up, the smug look he was giving Armin made him check behind his back, because he wished Connie was looking at someone else behind him.</p><p>“We all know why you’re setting yourself up,” Connie smugly threw that at Armin, who only blushed and looked down, Eren turned his head at them, getting curious.</p><p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Armin went back to fixing his tie, then he realized that there was no more extra work to be done with it, so he turned to lace his shoes, only to realize that they were already laced and shiny.</p><p>Armin hunted for something to busy himself with, but he jumped when he was met face to face with Connie’s mischievous eyes, “All fancy for Annie, aren’t you?” he teased, breathing into Armin’s face, making him cringe away, and did Connie spray all the cologne bottle on himself? Because Armin’s nostrils were burning from its pungent smell.</p><p>“Come on, man, you’ve been visiting her for four years,” Connie held out four fingers, “four fucking years! It’s too obvious that you have something for her,” His voice suddenly veered from a teasy bastard to a caring guy, “she’s leaving soon, you should probably make a move or something.” </p><p>Armin could just walk straight to the window and jump out of it rather than talk about <em>this </em>with Connie. Armin’s jaw clenched for a passing moment, and it wasn’t because he couldn’t sleep last night thinking about all of it, but it was because Annie had been avoiding him for the past few days.</p><p><em>It’s not a big deal, </em>Armin would lie to himself, even though it would sting him whenever she walked past him as if he was merely transparent air.</p><p>He didn’t even have a proper talk with her, and she wasn’t giving him any sort of invitation to talk to her, all her attitude was screaming ‘don’t talk to me.’</p><p>Armin opened his mouth to defend what was left from his courage: “I-”</p><p>“Don’t even try to deny it!” </p><p>Armin fell silent, his head craned downward, dwindling with whatever he wanted to blurt out. Connie’s arm wrapped around his shoulder, giving him two buddy-pumps before he withdrew, the pungent cologne scent decreasing with him.</p><p>The clock on the wall ticked.</p><p>With each tick, Armin was reminded by how he was squeezed into a narrow time to talk to Annie, or more like get her to talk to him, to let him talk to her.</p><p>It was so <em>unfair</em> that she didn’t explain her ignoring, and Armin’s hands were clasped together, helpless and powerless, uselessly dangling by his sides, unable to do anything. He wouldn’t force her to talk to him, and it’s not like he <em>can. </em></p><p>And it’s not the weather he wanted to talk about with Annie, it was something very personal to her, something horrible that she was going to face without even being aware of it.</p><p>But…</p><p>Maybe he shouldn’t.</p><p>“I might… I might talk to Annie, I don’t know.” Armin had no intention of doing so, but he just wanted Connie to stop and get away from him, if his friend had a hair-wide capacity of paying attention, he would’ve noted the ‘rift’ going between Annie and Armin.</p><p>But here was Connie, being himself.</p><p>“Talking?” Connie asked, pressing his lips together in a thin, straight line, as if the word itself was a smudgy piece of bread that had a dubious bitter taste, “talking? Are you fucking serious?”</p><p>“Ok, I honestly have no idea what you want me to-”</p><p>“You’ve been shot in the mouth, literally, and you still think talking is the best way to solve things out?” Connie stood up, raising his hands beside his head, giving up on Armin. Connie had had it with him and his bullshit, “Eren, I’m done with this, I’m leaving him with you.” Connie turned his back and left.</p><p>Armin put his head in his hands and sighed, listening to Connie’s steps descending the crooked stairs, though he was sure Connie left not out of care for Armin’s sanity, but to check on Jean, who didn’t get into the cottage since the morning.</p><p>Eren didn’t say anything, he only strolled around the room, dusting his already spotless suit, sometimes stopping by the window; dodging the elephant in the room.</p><p>“You’re getting married, huh,” Armin muttered, he wasn’t sure if Eren heard or not, but soon enough, the spot on the bed beside him dipped, Eren laced his fingers together, leaning with his elbows on his knees.</p><p>Eren smacked his lips: “I am.”</p><p>Armin forced a chuckle, but he wished he could retreat it as it sounded imprudent and dry. He always knew that Eren used to be blinded by his anger at the titans, to the point where Armin was definite he was hopeless and would never see Mikasa in any romantic way, so to finally see him moderate his rock head and acknowledge Mikasa’s feelings and his own, Armin could grow wings and fly.</p><p>“I… can’t believe that this is actually happening,” Eren’s voice was coming from the faraway land of dreams, Armin looked at him, and the soft look Eren wore and the slight smile on his lips, it was sincere and candid, stem from deep within his soul…</p><p>Armin didn’t see that in a long time.</p><p>Mikasa was the reason behind that.</p><p>“Armin…” Eren straightened up, cleared his throat, and looked right into Armin’s eyes, “I know we didn’t talk about it-”</p><p>“Stop,” Armin interrupted, and Eren did stop momentarily, even though he chewed on the inside of his lower lip, “there’s nothing to talk about.”</p><p>“It won’t get us anywhere-”</p><p>“Besides,” Armin continued, interrupting Eren again, “it’s your wedding, we can talk about anything later.”</p><p>Eren underwent the effort of swallowing whatever he had to say, it was loud and coarse, as if he gulped down a ball of razor-sharp thorns.</p><p>Armin was thoughtful for a moment, before he decided to speak up his mind, or at least just a marginal chunk of it, this was Eren after all, his childhood friend, his friend who stood up for him when they were kids, and kept on doing that many years later: “I thought about it, and maybe what you will do is right, maybe altering Annie’s memories is the best for her.”</p><p>Eren was comprehensive for a while, he knew Armin for a very long time, and he knew when he wasn’t telling the truth: “You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.”</p><p>“I’m not, I’m really not, after all, she fought all these years to go back to her father, now she’s with him, she’s happy.” Armin heaved a sigh, “maybe there’s no point to keep dwelling on her past.”</p><p>Something about the way Armin said that Annie was happy made Eren realize that maybe this was a side of Armin he never truly discovered before, and for a moment, Eren wondered if Armin was a replica of the books he reads; each page holding new words with hidden secrets, and each time you reread them, you decipher another code between their lines, the more you realize that you didn’t know anything about them before.</p><p>A flurry of words swirled inside Eren’s head; however, he couldn’t think of anything else to say besides: “I’m really sorry.”</p><p>He was sorry for many things that had passed, and many things that has yet to come.</p><p>“There’s nothing to apologize for, I should be the one apologizing, I think I overreacted back there.” Armin was referring to the night by the stream, when Mr. Leonhart bid his plans.</p><p>“I would have reacted the same way…” Eren swallowed, trying to hold back what he was about to say, but he thought about it countless times before, the words might suffocate his lungs if he doesn’t let them out, “if Mikasa’s memories were changed, and all these years were gone… I don’t want to go through that ever again.”</p><p>“Would you do it?” Armin asked this one simple, succinct question, spinning his head, his eyes locking with Eren’s.</p><p>Forest met ocean, embracing at the shore line, familiar with each other for as far as the shore meander, but the deeper you go into one, the farther you get from the other, each has their own labyrinthine mysteries that will never be unveiled for the other for as long as they lasted.</p><p>Eren closed his eyes, the way Armin didn’t hesitate before his enquiry uncovered the fact that it was on his mind for some time. After all, Eren did say that this idea has crossed his mind, conversely, he responded: “I don’t know…”</p><p>Armin didn’t reply, but he looked at Annie’s ring on his finger, he couldn’t get himself to take it off, even though he didn’t see Annie wearing his ring in those past few days…</p><p>Armin has got this far without breaking, he decided that he passed the turning point some time ago: “And… I think you were right; whatever I have towards Annie can’t be real.”</p><p>“Armin what are you talking about?”</p><p>“It’s like you said, Bert did affect my memories as well as my emotions.”</p><p>“No Armin listen-”</p><p>“If you think about it, my emotions for Annie don’t make any sense, we barely know each other, we were friends before we turned into enemies and then again we briefly turned into allies,” Armin fixed the already- fixed collar of his suit, “It’s probably some passing infatuation.”</p><p>“You’re wrong.”</p><p>Armin rolled his eyes, ready to toss a lame sarcastic comment back at Eren, but when his eyes met the intensity of Eren’s glare, that sarcastic comment crawled to an abandoned corner in his mind.</p><p>“That was just another lie from me, I just…” Eren’s gaze wavered; his stomach queasy at the thought that Armin still didn’t forget about that day, <em>of course he won’t forget it you idiot. </em>Eren wished he could travel to the past and knock himself out before he had the audacity to say that out loud to Armin and Mikasa.</p><p>It was Armin’s right to know about this, Eren had to steer things back into their lane, or as close as he could get them: “I just… I guess I just wanted to fuck up with your minds. I wanted you to stop you from doing anything that you would regret later.”</p><p>“That was a horrible way to do it.”</p><p>“I…” Eren let out an irritated breath at himself, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Armin looked down; his eyes fixated on a dot on the carpet between his knees.</p><p>His childhood friends are getting married, <em>finally </em>getting married, they’re starting a new life, turning a new, blank page, and they were ready to fill it with new experiences, new mistakes, but most importantly, they were doing it together.</p><p>Maybe Armin should start a new life too.</p><p>“You know a few weeks ago,” Armin cleared his throat, “when you asked if I could forgive you…”</p><p>Eren nodded, but then realized that Armin was caressing a spot on the carpet with his shoes and didn’t see him, so he said: “Yeah?” and Eren hated the hopefulness in his tone.</p><p>Armin sighed and turned his eyes towards Eren, who already was watching him, and in a moment of determination, he said: “Yes, yes I do.”</p><p>The tips of Eren’s lips twitched upwards, hiding the grimace from bile rising up his throat; unsalvageable guilt puncturing his windpipe as he looked into Armin’s eyes, and Eren couldn’t bear them any longer, he could no longer handle the serenity of Armin’s blue orbs pouring an endless ocean into his own, so he just leaned forward and engulfed Armin in a bone crushing embrace.</p><p>Of course, Armin only hugged him with a similar tightness, patting him on the back, before someone called Eren from downstairs.</p><p>He was finally permitted to step out the room, so, he got up, shrugged his shoulders, and went for the door, his hand landed on the knob before he turned his head towards Armin: “I can’t give you any relationship advice, I… well I’m just not good at that,” Eren pulled his suit down, fixing the pocket square, “I just know that you’ll make a good choice.” </p><p>Armin nodded, the smile remaining on his face as authentic as he always was.</p><p>“Just one last thing, perhaps… let your heart make a decision, just for once, you’ll not regret it,” Eren gave Armin one last smile, then he walked out the room leaving the door opened behind him.</p><p>Armin groaned, shaking his head.</p><p>His life was much more complicated than any other story he ever read, and he could only wish he will have a happy ending worth all the struggles.</p><p>Not before long, Armin got up and followed Eren.</p><p>The couches were lined along the wall, making the living room spacious, the dining table was pushed to a wall too, right under the window, and Kiyomi, with the help of Gabi and Falco were already lining up the dishes varying in colors and contents; holding food and drinks Armin didn’t hope he would get a chance to taste for a long time.</p><p>Armin looked around to what used to be a versatile, dull living room which multifunction as a bedroom, now the whole room was draped in translucent gold and white fabrics overlapping each other, retelling the golden streaks embellishing the sunset peeking from the opened window. Ornaments from different shapes and sizes were hung on them. From where Armin was standing, they looked like twinkling stars.</p><p>Kiyomi did a fantastic job, and it was visible how it stunned Eren; he walked around the room, caressing the fabrics, his jaw dragging behind him on the ground.</p><p><em>They deserve this, they really do, </em>Armin thought as he descended the creaking stairs, his own breath taken away at the dazzling preparations. He did know that Kiyomi was probably capable of doing anything she ever wanted, but he couldn’t imagine that she could pull off a whole ceremony in just a couple of days, and vastly succeed at it.</p><p>The sun was going down as everyone gathered in the room, they stood in half a circle, Eren and Hanji at the center of it, waiting for the bride.</p><p>Eren fidgeted in his spot, transferring his weight from one leg to the other, fixing the tie around his neck, sweat already gathered on his forehead.</p><p>“You might need this,” Armin said, as he handed Eren a handkerchief, “it was a good idea that you got your hair in a bun; otherwise it would be sticking all over your face.”</p><p>“Yeah…” Eren replied, dapping the fabric over his face, his fingers trembling, “she’s taking a long time, isn’t she?” he asked Armin, and for his dismay; his voice cracked.</p><p>“Whom? Mikasa?” Eren nodded, “well a bride should take her time getting ready, she waited for this long enough,” Armin concluded, not giving it much thought, of course, a bride needs her time, right?</p><p>However, Eren didn’t stand still, he pressed his lips, swallowed a thick lump in his throat, then he breathed out, loud enough for only Armin to hear: “She might have changed her mind, you know? She can just say no and h-honestly I wouldn’t blame her, you were right, what was I thinking when I proposed to her-”</p><p>Eren’s rambling stopped when he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, he tilted his head to the side and saw Armin with a ludicrous smile emblazoning his face.</p><p>Armin didn’t utter a word, instead, he just nudged his head to the side.</p><p>Eren’s eyes followed Armin’s gesture,</p><p>His breath caught in his throat.</p><p>Mikasa stood at the doorway, the<em> bride</em> was in a pure, humble white dress with a bateau neckline, it hugged her body perfectly from the top, flowing in delicate waves at her hips. Mikasa held a bouquet of various colorful flowers, articulately arranged. Her hair was gathered in a bun, her bangs were curled, framing her circular face.</p><p>Mikasa’s flushed face could be seen even though her head was down, but when she titled her head up and finally looked at Eren, time stopped, as well as their breathing.</p><p>The world spun, fading with a twirl of blurry memories, and the two of them were in the clouds, Eren’s hair was shorter and he was the same tall as Mikasa, their celebratory attires morphed into their training uniforms, and the spark in Eren’s eyes shone, Mikasa’s hair whipped around her face with the soft breeze.</p><p>And then they were younger, much younger, Mikasa was in her ankle-length pink dress, as Eren stood in front of her, his eyes larger, and it was dark and cold, and Mikasa had nowhere to go, so Eren extended his hand, Mikasa stared at it for a moment before she took it, her other hand closed tightly around the red scarf that Eren just wrapped around her, he pulled her closer to him, and-</p><p>“Ok, now, I feel bad for you kids, but apparently I’m the one marrying you two.” Hanji said as they stood between Eren and Mikasa, pushing their glasses up their nose bridge. Hanji looked between Eren and Mikasa and noticed that they didn’t hear a word from what they said.</p><p>Hanji snapped their fingers in front of their faces, both jumped, letting go of each other’s hands, Mikasa almost dropping the bouquet, but luckily, Annie caught it at the last moment.</p><p>“Ok, so as I was saying, I hope you bear with my lack of experience in this field…”</p><p>Hanji’s voice faded in Armin’s ears, the wedding, the people around him, everything grew fainter until they were diminished into nonentity when Annie came into his sight for the first time that evening.</p><p>Armin always thought Annie got a beauty of her own, her golden hair and blue orbs were enough charm to get his head dizzy, but he didn’t think Annie would surpass <em>that </em>and take his breath away in an instant.</p><p>Armin never imagined that Annie would actually <em>want</em> to wear a dress, well, he was wrong. The dress was light blue, the fabric dropped off her shoulder, showing her collarbone, then it fitted her perfectly until it got to the waist, where it spread into a flowing skirt with multiple layers, giving it volume and twirling with every movement she made, it stopped right above her knee.</p><p>Annie’s hair was down, brushing her shoulders, two braids hugged the crown of her head until they met in the middle of the back of her head, a simple silver necklace was around her neck, a blue crystal glowing in the middle of it.</p><p>Armin was mesmerized by Annie, his eyes only lingered on her, hungry to just stare at her, and he had no idea how he went through the past few days without talking to her.</p><p>Swiftly, Annie turned her head and their eyes met, Armin immediately turned his head to the side, chewing on the inside of his cheeks that were basically on fire, <em>what an idiot what an idiot what an-</em></p><p>“-please get the rings!” Hanji’s loud enthusiastic voice brought Armin back to earth, he shook his head, waiting for whatever was next, but everyone was just silent.</p><p>Kiyomi gasped, covering her mouth with her hand: “I forgot about those!”</p><p>Well, it seemed that despite Kiyomi’s thorough preparation, she forgot about one of the most important parts, and it was ridiculous because Mikasa and Eren were as shocked as the others.</p><p>Armin chuckled, of course something wasn’t going to go as planned, their whole lives had been like this: “I think… I have a solution.” Armin said, he ran into the bedroom upstairs, and got back in mere seconds.</p><p>Mikasa smiled when she saw that he was holding her red scarf.</p><p>Armin handed the red scarf to Eren, he took it gratefully and inched closer to Mikasa. Eren wrapped the scarf around Mikasa, trying not to mess up her delicate hairstyle. The torn, weary fabric didn’t complement her shining white dress, but Mikasa caressed it with the tip of her fingers as she looked into Eren’s eyes, her eyes watering.</p><p>“And finally, you may now kiss the bride!” Hanji chirped and stepped back.</p><p>If the situation was different, Armin would’ve rolled on the ground with laughter at how flaming hot his childhood friends’ whole faces were, this was the first time everyone would see them kissing, Armin grinned like an idiot when Eren awkwardly wrapped his arms around Mikasa’s waist, whom stood on her tiptoes, leaning on Eren’s chest.</p><p>Mikasa closed her eyes and leaned forward, her lips met with… something, which was certainly not Eren’s lips.</p><p>Laughs erupted around Mikasa, she opened her eyes, only to be met with a red flushed Eren, it took her three seconds to realize that she kissed his nose.</p><p>Before Mikasa allowed herself to drown more in embarrassment, she clamped Eren’s head in her hands, yanked him down to her and pressed a kiss onto his lips, only for a second before pulling away.</p><p>The laughs turned into cheers and clapping, and soon enough, the fire on Eren and Mikasa’s faces turned into a red dust on their cheeks, and everyone was in a corner in the room chatting and eating and drinking.</p><p>Armin walked to his friends, hugged them and congratulated them: “It makes me really happy that you two got the happiness you deserve.”</p><p>“Oh, Armin, thank you so much,” Mikasa hugged Armin again, and he can’t remember a time when Mikasa was this happy, she was smiling nonstop, her face’s muscles might never go back to normal. Mikasa pulled back, holding Armin at arm’s length, she looked him straight in the eyes and said: “I hope you find your happiness too.”</p><p>Armin knew that Mikasa was referring to the memory they saw when Eren first woke up, the memory where he saw himself standing on an alter by the beach. Armin felt his cheeks heat up, he averted his eyes from Mikasa only to land on Annie, who was standing beside Reiner, tasting an appetizer of a rolled bread with something inside, Armin lingered his gaze on her for a moment and didn’t realize his mistake until Mikasa followed his gaze.</p><p>In a millisecond, Mikasa’s eyes were as wide as the plates on the dining table, her mouth opened, and she blinked once, twice, thrice before she exclaimed as loud as a whisper would allow her: “Annie?!”</p><p>“N-no, no,” Armin shook his head, he didn’t know when it happened, but he jumped a foot away from Mikasa, he looked at Eren, asking for help, but Eren just stood there, raising a smug eyebrow at him, and Armin wanted to slap it off of his face as hard as he could -somehow- without making a scene.</p><p>Luckily for Armin, someone clasped their hand on his shoulder, and Armin thanked whoever it was, but he immediately changed his mind when he spotted Jean, his face stoic, and his hand was squeezing Armin’s shoulder too much it started to hurt.</p><p>“Jean…?” Mikasa asked, it was the first time she saw him that evening, and she wasn’t sure if he stood with the others in the semicircle a few minutes ago.</p><p>Jean didn’t address Mikasa, and it was worrying that he was glaring at Eren.</p><p>Of course Jean won’t be dumb and break a fight right in the middle of a wedding and a peaceful moment they all deserved, Armin thought, he can’t be <em>that </em>impulsive, but Armin wrapped his fingers around Jean’s bicep, <em>just in case.</em></p><p>Jean marched past Armin, past Mikasa and stood right in front of Eren, before he clapped his hands on Eren’s shoulder, drilling Eren into the ground, then he said in a choked voice: “I swear Yeager, if you even think of hurting her anymore, you’re dead, you’re so fucking dead.”</p><p>Everyone in the room was staring at those three, Eren, Mikasa, and Jean, no one dared to say anything, they merely watched, waiting for whatever would unfold before their eyes.</p><p>Eren didn’t waste time, he, too, clapped his hands on Jean’s shoulders, looked him dead in the eyes and said: “I would rather die than hurt her.”</p><p>Armin watched, silent, then he watched Mikasa, who had tears in her eyes, and her hands were shaking.</p><p>Jean kept looking right through Eren’s eyes, he dug a hole in them, but Eren didn’t fidget, he was staring at Jean with the same intensity. Jean clenched his jaw so tight, his teeth gritting could be heard from across the room, he squeezed his eyes shut, and he looked like he was fighting something inside his head, as if the voices in his skull were ricocheting against it, fighting each other until last one was standing.</p><p>Jean opened his eyes, he let go of Eren and turned to Mikasa.</p><p>“Jean…” Mikasa whispered, tears were trickling down her cheeks, and she didn’t know what she was supposed to do, and her head was vacant of words, all she did was stand there, looking at Jean, his intense expression abandoning his face.</p><p>He held his hand up and wiped the salty tears on Mikasa’s face with the tips of his fingers, soft and as light as a feather, only for more tears to spill out her eyes, she opened her arms and flung herself onto Jean, hugging him tight tight tight, and he rubbed her back in circles, <em>soothing</em> circles that subsided the crying into small sniffs, and when Mikasa pulled back, she was smiling and laughing, and everyone in the room felt the tension lessen.</p><p>“Well then, anyone cares for a drink?” Chirped Connie, holding a bottle of liquor before he opened it, a fountain squirting from its narrow slot, everyone cheered, and soon, glasses were clanking against each other in the amidst of chatter and laughter.</p><p>Armin smiled at Connie and thought how lucky Jean was to have such a friend by his side, through all of this, and Armin deemed that it was most likely Connie who convinced Jean to do this, to come and face Eren.</p><p>After some time, Gabi, with the help of Pieck, sat up the vinyl player and a slow song started playing, eventually, everyone stood to the side, making place for the freshly married couple to have their first dance.</p><p>Armin stood beside the window, the food table by his side, and its aroma was mouthwatering, however, Armin wasn’t hungry at all, he got a drink and watched his friends dance together. The final rays of the day swept into the room, golden sparks danced around Eren and Mikasa, and the way they swayed in harmony sent tranquil waves deep down in Armin’s stomach, <em>they do look like they are on a cloud or something.</em></p><p>Eren engulfing Mikasa in his arms. Mikasa only looked at him, and him only. It was like they were made for each other, and Armin thought of Mikasa, this woman he knew since he was only nine, and her big, big heart.</p><p>He could only dream of someone as forgivable as she was, who else would’ve forgiven Eren for all the shit he done? Who could see the good in Eren no matter the circumstances?</p><p>Mikasa, and Mikasa only.</p><p>She never gave up on him, and it’s not because he bounded her with chains or whatever anyone would assume, no, she chose this path, she chose to deal with hell, to burn her fingers again, and again, and again.</p><p>Mikasa was loyal for her love, and when you love someone, when you <em>truly</em> love someone, you can’t give up on them, you can’t leave them behind, even if they were sinners who committed irredeemable crimes. When you love someone, you want to fix them, to teach them how to love themselves, to help them see the good in themselves and work on it.</p><p>It would hurt, yes, but the taste of holding that someone would equal holding the world, with all its good and bad, but you’re holding them, in your arms, caressing away their tears, laughing with them, holding their hand when life is being harsh to them.…</p><p>Mikasa was born to be with Eren, and Eren was born to be with Mikasa.</p><p>There was no way around it.</p><p>Soon enough, some hyped music played, and everyone joined Mikasa and Eren, no one dancing seriously, merely having fun. Gabi and Falco certainly were having a lot of fun, and Armin was surprised when he saw Commander Hanji and Captain Levi dancing, and he wondered if there was something between these two,</p><p><em>What a sight, </em>Armin thought as he sipped on his drink, Magath, Pieck, and Reiner, seemed to be happy to, and Armin found it bizarre how they were having a party with their once-were enemies.</p><p>Armin rolled his eyes when he saw Jean and Connie already swaying drunkenly on their spot, but he didn’t feel like he should scold them. If anything, he himself couldn’t tolerate alcohol well, and it was showing because his head felt lighter on his shoulders.</p><p>Something moved outside the window, catching Armin’s eyes, he peeked outside, the last threads of light seeped past the mountains, leaving stars scattered all over the dark blue sky, then Armin saw that <em>someone</em> was outside, blue dress, and blonde hair.</p><p>Armin didn’t think his actions thoroughly, he just abandoned his glass on the table, and went outside. He stood a few feet away from Annie, but something screwed his feet in their place, and he couldn’t go any farther.</p><p>Armin stood there, his hands in his pockets, it was getting chilly outside, maybe he should tell Annie to get back inside or she’d get sick, she probably couldn’t afford postponing her travelling due to some unforeseen illness.</p><p>“You do know that it’s creepy to just stare, don’t you?” Annie said, turning around, facing Armin, her hands crossed, “or maybe you’re used to it?”</p><p>Armin smirked and shrugged his shoulders, he took a few steps closer to Annie, “Uh…” he was already stuttering, “isn’t it cold outside?”</p><p>“If you’re cold, you can just go inside.”</p><p>“I wasn’t talking about me…” Armin mumbled, but Annie pretended as if she didn’t hear him, and of course she would be nonchalant about not speaking to Armin for the past four days; for god’s sake, they met after four full years of silent, freezing nights at the basement, and she was smearing her face in a pie.</p><p>Annie rubbed her arms: “You know… we’re leaving tomorrow.”</p><p>Armin’s mouth shaped in an O, he blinked his eyes a few times rapidly, and something heavy dropped into his stomach, he cleared his throat: “U-uh, well, I- that’s kinda surprising.” Armin pulled out his right hand from his pocket and rubbed his throat.</p><p>“I know, my father just told me before the wedding,” Annie said, turning away from Armin and admiring the black figures of the mountains in the horizon.</p><p>Armin bit his lip, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, he didn’t know that Annie was leaving this soon, and he doubted that anyone inside knew either. A soft, slow music drifted from the window, and that certainly helped calm down Armin a little bit.</p><p>“Do you… do you really want to leave?” Armin finally asked, he wanted to ask a bigger question, to ask if she wanted her memories erased, but he couldn’t get himself to.</p><p>Maybe he was scared to hear her answer, if it wasn’t the answer he wanted.</p><p>Annie cocked her head to the side, tapping her foot a few times: “Well, it seems the most obvious thing to do, I can’t- we can’t stay here.”</p><p>“Oh…”</p><p>“Kiyomi already got us fake passports and identities, so that would get us moving much easier.”</p><p>“Oh really? What’s your new name then?”</p><p>Annie was quite for a while, then she sighed and answered: “<a href="https://nameberry.com/babyname/Annika">Annika</a>.”</p><p>Armin snorted, and Annie stomped his foot; it wasn’t exactly playful.</p><p>Still in a fit of giggles, Armin said: “Well then, would Annika accept a last dance with me?” he stopped laughing, dumbfounded at his own words.</p><p>Annie pondered his offer, put a mimicking finger on her chin: “Annika says no.”</p><p>“Oh…” Armin looked down at his feet, caressed his suit a few times, before he got an idea, it would either be fruitful, or would earn him a slap.</p><p>“Well then, would Annie accept this dance?” Armin said as he got closer to Annie, putting the tips of his fingers on Annie’s hands.</p><p>Annie felt warmth from where Armin’s fingers touched her, she rationalized it by thinking that they were still warm from his pockets, but she had no explanation for the warmth she got when she looked into his eyes.</p><p>“You may have your dance.” Annie whispered.</p><p>Armin pulled Annie closer to him, she had already anticipated the hand that wrapped around her waist, she held one hand up, expecting he’d take it, but instead, Armin wrapped his other hand around her waist too.</p><p>Annie had no choice but to place both of her hands on his shoulder.</p><p>They were so close together, their breaths mixing in the middle, Annie smelt the sting aromatic of alcohol in Armin’s breath, she looked into his eyes, dubious if he was sober or not, she sighed internally when she saw them focused. She had no idea that Armin was actually… well, drinking, those four years in the crystal did change him… in many, many ways.</p><p>Armin’s fingers barely grazed Annie’s hips, his hands so gently engulfing her but at the same time anchoring her in a way she never experienced before, with the way Armin was watching her, she knew that her cheeks were pink, her heart raced in her chest. She glided down her hands closer to his chest and felt a ting of jealousy when she didn’t feel his heart panicking like hers.</p><p>Their bodies swayed to the harmonies of the music, the chilly breeze ruffled Annie’s dress, but she didn’t mind, she was warm and content, with someone. Armin wanted to capture this moment and reserve it in a jar forever, a moment filled with gratefulness, serenity, and perhaps, perhaps something else...</p><p>Armin never wavered his sight off Annie, but he couldn’t hold eye contact with her for more than two seconds, she’d find anything to look at except him, and he wanted to look into her eyes, to memorize their blue, the streaks of a mesmerizing ocean deepening her orbs, making him see depths of the ocean he could only dream of, and Armin was falling into that endless hole of the unknown, but he was warm warm <em>warm</em>.</p><p>An alien feeling was diving in his veins, and it was dangerous, so dangerous and risky and he promised himself that he must push it away, he shouldn’t trespass into forbidden territory, he wanted to start a new life and hanging into that foreign tingle of emotions would only drag him back into the past, cuffing him with memories that soon would drift away with the wind.</p><p>They won’t exist anymore.</p><p>As much as that frustrated Armin; he still smiled at Annie, and <em>uh these blue eyes of hers,</em> the way they sparkled whenever she turned her head, reflecting the stars above them.</p><p>“Annie…” Armin whispered, he knew that he was spending his last moments with her… his last moments in her memories that soon will be gone, and it was irrefutable that this was his last chance to talk to her.</p><p><em>You still think talking is the best way to solve things out? </em>Connie’s voice rang in Armin’s head.</p><p>Annie looked at Armin, nudging her head, prompting him to continue, instead, he leaned forward, his forehead touched hers.</p><p>Annie’s eyes widened, blood rushing to her cheeks, and her breath caught in her throat.</p><p>Armin rubbed his forehead against hers, and Annie’s fingertips trembled, she swallowed, and could no longer decide if Armin was sober or not, because there was no way he’d be showing… this affection, if he was in his right state of mind.</p><p>Armin smelled apple pie and a floral fragrance, he breathed in Annie’s scent, wanting to remember it for as long as he lived. He closed his eyes, an apple tree formed into the darkness, various flowers interweaving into a carpet around it. He spotted a girl with a straw hat covering her face sitting under that tree, and an invisible energy pulled him towards her, drawing him to her, his legs moved on their own, he walked to her, trying to not trample any of the flowers in his path.</p><p>Armin knelt when he got closer to the girl, she tilted her head up and-</p><p>He opened his eyes and met Annie’s piercing blue ones.</p><p>Armin glanced at Annie’s lips, he unconsciously pressed his lips together, his tongue slithering between them, and wetting them, when he looked back up to Annie’s eyes, they were wide open.</p><p>The hazy look in Armin’s eyes, and how they were half lidded, showed Annie a side of Armin she never saw before, she glanced at his lips while he was distracted by hers, and it was the first time in her life that she had a desire to touch someone’s lips.</p><p>Sirens went off in Annie’s head, she should step away and wake up from this dream, what was she thinking?</p><p>Annie lifted her hand off Armin’s chest, and brushed a finger against his lower lip one single time.</p><p><em>Soft, </em>Annie thought, she didn’t notice Armin following every single move of her hand.</p><p>Armin cupped Annie’s hand, and kissed the inside of her palm.</p><p>Tingles ran all over Annie’s body, and she decided that she doesn’t care if Armin was drunk or not, because she was lost in his lovely small gestures that made shivers run into her veins, sending warm electric-like pulses from her palm to as far as the tips of her toes.</p><p>Armin trailed kisses down Annie’s palm until he got to her wrist, kissing her pulse, feeling it on his lips.</p><p>He glanced at Annie’s lips, then back at her eyes, his mind was dizzy, thoughts were crashing in his mind, and he was trying hard to diverge the wrong ones from the horribly wrong ones, but the dominant one screamed <em>this is your last chance,</em></p><p>Armin leaned forward, his lips brushing Annie’s in a soft touch, like a feather.</p><p>Annie didn’t close her eyes, she didn’t have time to react, Armin pulled away as swiftly as he leaned in, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and he couldn’t stop the blazing fire igniting in his veins; he was surprised that such a marginal touch made him feel wonders.</p><p>Annie blinked, the sirens in her head exploded and burned and turned into ashes, and she was uncertain if Armin kissed her or not, it was gentle, too gentle for her to consider it an actual kiss, and a courageous motivation made her tug Armin by the collar of his suit, and brought him down, planting a firm, full kiss on his lips as her eyelashes fluttered shut, Armin staggered in his spot, before he fixed his footing, and enveloped Annie in his arms.</p><p>Everything around them went mute, silent, and they were riding foreign sensations, a mix of them that they both were oblivious to, it was like fire, but a soothing one, a fire which they danced with its flames, tapping their foot at its crackling, twigs snapping in a roaring blaze, but they kept on moving.</p><p>Annie moved her lips against Armin’s, and she shivered when his hand touched the lower of her back, that shiver was a reason for her to loosen her grip on Armin’s collar, hesitantly, her arms sneaked around his neck, she felt his hand on the lower of her back quiver when she traced his undercut, and that made the tips of her lips quirk up against his lips.</p><p>Armin felt Annie smile against his lips, against his <em>own </em>lips, he was <em>this</em> close to Annie, her scent drove his dizziness away, and it was replaced by the full awareness that he was against her body, pressing his frame into hers, touching her, kissing her.</p><p>They both knew that this was wrong and useless, it was all in vein; Annie’s lips quivered when she reminisced that Armin knew she won’t remember any of this, and her throat clinched, the corner of her eyes burned, and she was angry at everything, at Armin, and how he finally <em>did </em>something.</p><p>But after what?</p><p>Annie pressed her lips harder against Armin’s mouth, she was clinging onto him, she could do anything to not forget him, to let this boy live in the depths of her mind, some place where her memories can’t be touched, can’t be tempered with no matter what.</p><p>She ran her fingers through his hair and begged them to remember how soft it felt against them, she touched his cheekbones, his eyebrows, his eyelids, and she was pleading to reserve his memory.</p><p>And so did Armin, he rubbed his hands on her back, the silky fabric soft against his palms, his hands traced her shoulders, and he noticed that she was in a better health compared to few weeks ago, his hands kept their wandering, all the while he kept kissing her; his finger tangled in her hair, and he imagined that each strand was a ray of sunshine in a cold winter afternoon.</p><p>He cupped Annie’s cheeks, the tips of his fingers sensed a cold moisture on them, and after it, he tasted salt on his lips.</p><p>Armin pulled away, he tried to inhale, but when he saw tears streaming down Annie’s cheeks, he froze on his spot, his hands lingering on her face.</p><p>She looked at him through half lidded lashes before she suddenly flinched, and stepped back, her face flushed and her lips glistening. Armin was dumbfounded, his arms stretched out but vacant. Annie blinked rapidly and shook her head in dizzy-whips, she glanced at Armin’s eyes one last time, before bolting inside the cottage.</p><p>At the threshold of the cottage, Annie pumped into someone, she didn’t want to apologize, but she found herself speechless when she saw her dad staring at her with a void expression.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>excuse me for a second<br/>*screams in a pillow*<br/>YALL<br/>I WROTE THIS KISS SCENE A FEW MONTHS AGO<br/>and I'm so thrilled to finally share it with you<br/>this took so looong to edit but after all it's a really, really long chapter<br/>I thought about splitting it into two chapters but yeah idk it ended up being one, long chapter<br/>anywaaaay<br/>what do you think?<br/>I'm really excited to hear what you guys think!!!<br/>Cheers for you if you made it this far!!<br/>also if you wanna chat just hit me up on tumblr! I'll be happy to talk about literary anything lol<br/>ok byeeeee</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Annie, you know I would do anything for you, right?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Father…?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I love you, and I want you to be happy, no matter what happens, I’ll always be by your side, you know that, don’t you?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I… I know, but… what’s going on?” Annie knew what was going on, as her father led her further into the forest, the sun barely creeped out from behind the mountains, and it was freezing cold, Annie’s fingers were like sticks of ice that were going to snap at any moment, her legs were numb, and the suitcases they were carrying made her feet dig deeper into the dew dirt.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She tried deflating the balloon that swelled in her throat, she took deep breaths, she was aware that this was coming, she told herself that she was ready for it, and yet…</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The thick trees were getting scarce, bushes and weed overthrowing them, not before long, the tangled branches no longer blocked her vision, and Annie found herself at a clearing, the stream running by it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The place where she peaked at Armin dancing with Mikasa.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Someone was already waiting for them.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>If Annie wasn’t sure that Armin was still passed out in the cottage, she would’ve wished it was him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was Eren, his long brown hair messy around his face, and his suit disheveled.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Annie glanced at her father, and her breath hitched in her throat when she saw tears glistening in his eyes.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You took so long,” Eren said, crossing his arms, as he strode a few steps towards them.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“But here we are, the past doesn’t matter anymore,” Mr. Leonhart said, he tried to walk, but the cane in his hand wobbled and he almost fell, but Annie caught him; the ground closer to the stream was even wetter, cold moisture seeped into Annie’s boot, bruising her toes, freezing them until they almost fell off her feet. She could see her breath turn into a white mist right after it left her mouth.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Propping her father up, she exclaimed: “What is going on? And Eren aren’t you supposed to-”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Annie,” Eren stopped Annie, it was only then that she realized the dark shadows framing his eyes.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mr. Leonhart turned to Annie, clamping his hands on both of her shoulders, he looked her straight in the eyes with such intensity that made Annie want to step back, but she didn’t.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Annie, my daughter, do you forgive me?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“For what?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Answer me.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Annie glanced at Eren; the prosaic look he wore made her hand itch to slap it off his face. She turned her eyes to her father and said: “I do.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You know that I love you, don’t you?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I do.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mr. Leonhart knelt down and picked up his cane, after he steadied his footing, he gestured for Eren.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eren stepped towards Annie, she raised an eyebrow at him before she said: “Isn’t it rude to leave your wife alone at your wedding night?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He didn’t acknowledge her comment, instead he lifted up his hand.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Annie, I’m sorry,” he said, his fingers hovering an inch away from her forehead.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What the fuck are you talking about?” her voice was wobbly, and she hated that. Her eyes begging Eren to be done with it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Goodbye.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eren touched her forehead.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>~~~</em>
</p>
<p>When Armin woke up the day after the wedding, he had a head-splitting headache, he couldn’t even lift his head up the pillow, like a ball with some thick, heavy liquid inside, chaining his head down- or it wasn’t even a pillow, it was a rock-hard surface, and now that he was thinking about it, it was unbearably dreadful, and cold, and-</p>
<p>Why was he stretched out on the floor?</p>
<p>Armin looked around himself, <em>what is this stinking smell?</em> He got the answer soon enough when he noticed a foot dangling right above his head, Armin wrinkled his nose, pushing the foot away but retreated immediately when his fingers touched the surely-is a dripping sweat sock.</p>
<p>Through groans and multiple failed tries, Armin figured out a way to prop up himself on his elbows without pouring his brain out of his skull, he squinted his eyes, inspecting the room, the sun barely creeped into the place, decorations were up, glasses and liquor bottle were thrown around the floor, some shattered, their sharp splinters waiting for an unlucky foot to pierce through.</p>
<p>Human bodies scattered around the room, their bodies inflating then deflating like the failed attempts of a kid trying to blow up a balloon, some were snoring like an elephant, belching foul-smelling breath through their noses and their opened, drooling mouths. Someone was whistling through their nostrils.</p>
<p>A bolt of pain pulsated through Armin’s head, before he dropped back down on the floor, only to jolt at the sudden impact, then memories from the day before rushed into his mind, the wedding, drinking, <em>Annie,</em> a lot of drinking, <em>Annie,</em> more drinking.</p>
<p>These were his final thoughts before he drifted into another wave of restless, uneasy sleep.</p>
<p>The next time Armin opened his eyes, the sun was going down behind the mountains.</p>
<p>Armin covered his eyes with his elbow, not tolerating the harsh yet soft light, fighting the nausea induced by the vomit taste in his mouth, the headache was still there but he surely didn’t feel like passing out anymore.</p>
<p>“It’s about time you woke up, you look like shit.” Someone said from above him, Armin shifted his elbow off his eyes, just enough to see who was talking, once he saw Connie’s face, Armin dropped his elbow and closed his eyes again, “you kinda fucked up, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>“Connie, what are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“Kissing her while drunk? Dude, even I have enough brains to <em>not</em> do that,” Connie gulped down the rest of what might be leftover coffee, grimacing at its bitter taste.</p>
<p>Armin stiffened, the headache departing him for a second: “What?” his voice cracked.</p>
<p>“I saw you, it’s not like you were hiding, anyone could’ve seen you if they looked outside the window.”</p>
<p>“Oh, God,” Armin let out a shuddering breath, rubbing his forehead, <em>are there any pain killers around?</em></p>
<p>“You don’t have to worry about her, they had already left.” Connie twirled the residual of his coffee around, he pouted when he imagined its much stronger taste on his tongue.</p>
<p>The headache came back at full force pounding Armin’s head, he thought his head might as well blast, and <em>what was that about Annie leaving?</em></p>
<p>“What do you, <em>nngh…</em> mean, <em>aah, </em>she left?” Armin breathed out, as he rubbed his head and tried to sit up.</p>
<p>“So, she didn’t tell you? Sheesh, man, she must have been pissed at you.”</p>
<p>“Connie would you <em>please </em>stop and actually answer my, <em>ugh… </em>question?”</p>
<p>Connie snorted, not taking Armin seriously in the slightest: “She and her father, they left before the sun even was up, I’ve never seen anyone franticly pack like her father, he was steaming.”</p>
<p>“And you were awake and didn’t bother to wake me up?” Armin had finally managed to sit up, and he was looking around the room as if painkillers would materialize if he wished enough for them. If his head kept on thrashing like this for one more minute, he might go crazy.</p>
<p>“After all the drinks you had yesterday? You wouldn’t wake up even if I kick down that wall on your big head,” Connie said as he pointed with his thumb at the wall behind him, he sighed and stood up, “besides, I saved your ass from a very embarrassing confrontation.”</p>
<p>“Where are you going?!” Armin asked, his voice louder than he intended, sending a bang of pain through his head, he grimaced and massaged his head, trying to subside the sting.</p>
<p>“To get you some painkillers! Idiot,” Connie turned away from Armin and vanished into the kitchen, a few moments later, he reemerged with a cup of water and some <em>oh God finally </em>medicine. He silently gave them to Armin and sat again on the couch, his head dipping low.</p>
<p>“Whatever you’re hiding, are you planning on telling me?” Armin said before chucking the white circular tablet into his mouth, swallowing painfully.</p>
<p>Connie’s eyebrows rose on his forehead, he thought he was covering up <em>really</em> well, <em>I did a great job, Armin is just a genius. </em>Connie cleared his throat and said: “I can’t.”</p>
<p>Armin was quiet for a moment before he said: “Okay, whatever,” he plopped back down on the floor.</p>
<p>One</p>
<p>Two</p>
<p>Thr-</p>
<p>“Annie didn’t let me wake you up.”</p>
<p>Ah, that’s the Connie Armin knows, can’t hide a thing if his life depends on it… wait what-</p>
<p>“Annie did what?” Armin coughed a few times, feeling the tablet he just swallow climbing up his throat.</p>
<p>“She swatted my hand arm right before I shook you,” Connie said, and showed Armin the red spot on his forearm, which was forming into a muddle of blue and purple.</p>
<p>“Well then… I guess she really is mad at me…” Armin sighed, rubbing his forehead,<em> maybe in a minute I’ll wake up and all of this would turn out to be a dream or something…</em></p>
<p>“What did you do to her? Did you say anything… I don’t know, offending?”</p>
<p>“I…” Armin ruffled his hair, noticing how it was matted with sweat, his nose accidentally got closer to his armpit, and he gagged at the pungent aroma, he needed an urgent shower, “I can’t remember anything,” Armin lied as he headed to the bathroom.</p>
<p>He wanted to rip off the suit of his body the moment he closed the door behind him, but he only managed to lean onto the sink, all energy drained out of him. His hands griped the edge of it so tight, he imagined crushing it into sand, flowing between his fingers. Armin squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth.</p>
<p>Now she was gone.</p>
<p>Forever.</p>
<p>Armin threw his head backward and groaned, he fucked up, just like Connie said, he fucked up badly, there was no better way to say it.</p>
<p>Armin was frustrated, he was mad at himself, at his stupidity, he couldn’t even fathom an explanation why Annie didn’t just shove him away from the beginning, from the moment he wrapped his arms around her, but now he knew the taste of her lips, the scent of her skin.</p>
<p>He felt her hands on his chest and her fingers in his hair, he sensed her pulse on his lips, he ran his fingers through her hair, and he tasted her tears on his lips.</p>
<p>Armin’s fluttered his eyes open, and he was met with his reflection in a crocked, palm-size mirror, all he could see was how horrendous he looked from the outside, and how disgusting he felt from the inside.</p>
<p>He shook his head and was about to take off his shirt, but he stopped when his hands felt something in its chest pocket. His fingers tremulously sought out two rings, silver, almost identical.</p>
<p>His own ring, and Annie’s.</p>
<p>Armin stared at the two circular metals on his palm, the corners of his eyes were itchy and his throat tight.</p>
<p>She didn’t take his ring with her, and she left her own ring with him.</p>
<p>Annie made it loud and clear that she didn’t want any of his memory, she desired a new life, away from this place, away from the past, and away from him.</p>
<p>Armin stared into the mirror once again, and saw tears streaming down his cheeks.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>
  <em>Three years later</em>
</p>
<p>It was dawn, the sun creeping from behind the trees, night creatures scurried to their hiding places under rocks and between crocks in trees trunks, the birds tweeting, hoping from a branch to another, warming up for whatever struggle this day withholds for them,</p>
<p>Armin was sitting on the swing, which took the majority of his small porch, but it was worth purchasing; Armin usually wakes up before sunbreak, makes a cup of coffee -this precious beverage that the outside world introduced to them, was the only catalyst to manifest enough energy to start the day- then he would admire the sun rise, slowly, as if the whole world stopped for a moment, all silent and serene, before rolling back again into its endless storm.</p>
<p>Armin watched the stars as they faded, and he had to remind himself that they were still there, holding up, just a larger star robbed them off their spotlight and took all the glory to itself.</p>
<p>He thought about what he would do during the day, attempting to schedule his remaining free hours into a useful time; it was his day off; he should probably be productive and work on a few side projects he was putting to the side for the past few months.</p>
<p>He tried to conjure an excuse to not work on them; maybe he should run some errands in the village, or write letters to Connie and Jean; he didn’t see them in months, last time Connie wrote to him, it was to inform him that he’s opening a small business with Niccolo. And Jean… well, he was still trying to settle on a job.</p>
<p>A mix of guilt and stress was growing in his stomach, he was so used to deadlines and bolting to get things done in time, to rush with tremulous hands and shaking legs from one office to the other. It was still alien for him to leisurely check off his tasks, one after the other, slowly, until all were gone, and then a new list would arrive, and he would go through it again, patiently.</p>
<p><em>No point in rushing, </em>Armin comforted himself, he got all the time in the world.</p>
<p>He spent an extra hour admiring his surroundings, even though he lived here for about three years, he could never get bored of this place; there were countless, colorful birds living on the branches in the forest ahead of him, he tried once to track them down and study them, but their engraved wild nature made it impossible to catch, after all, it was used for predators hunting it down, not a mere, harmless human.</p>
<p>Reluctantly, Armin went inside his house.</p>
<p>Hanji did offer all of them mansions in the most prestigious parts of the city, to hire servants and cooks for them, to pay for any entertainment facilities they ever dreamt of, saying that ‘your efforts when you served as soldiers can never be thanked enough.’</p>
<p>All of them refused.</p>
<p>Instead, Armin, Eren and Mikasa sought a place with a serene atmosphere, some place where they can live in peace for the rest of their lives, and they found this village.</p>
<p>It was a new place, outside the walls, the far north of the island, its summers were scorching, and its winters were freezing, just like Shiganshina, and without hesitation they agreed that this place was exactly what they needed.</p>
<p>Armin’s house wasn’t big, nor was it fancy, in fact, it was in a dreadful state when he first got it, its past owner was trying to sell it for years, but it was half an hour walk from the village, and people can’t spare any extra time to get to their work, to the center of the village, where life was buzzing with people who have families waiting for them back home.</p>
<p>But Armin loathed noise, he hated packed places, where people are too busy to appreciate a butterfly passing by.</p>
<p>But here, at the outskirts of the village, closer to the forest, it was quiet, and Armin never worried about the rush hour, getting to work on time didn’t even cross his mind, or even getting enough sleep for a hard working day.</p>
<p>Armin got the house for half the price.</p>
<p>Even though everyone pictured Armin in a cabin by the ocean, Armin himself decided to live away from it, if anything, he wanted to get the jolt of happiness each time he saw the ocean, he never wanted to ever get used to it. The waves shall always make his breath catch in his throat, the cold water up until his ankles shall always send shivers down his spine.</p>
<p>Armin walked to the kitchen, which was connected to the living room, he was hesitant about having them disclosed; worrying about the cooking smell, grease and all, he surely didn’t want his couch smelling like fatty food, but he ended up rarely cooking anyway, so it wasn’t an issue.</p>
<p>He deposited his empty cup in the sink, before heading towards the stairs, its wood lighter than the rest of the place; it wasn’t here when he first moved, but he built a bedroom on what used to be the roof, this way, he had an extra room he could use as an office. Armin didn’t ascend them, but merely touched the handrail, he was making his way to where he should be longer, stretching his journey to his office as much as he could, where what he dreaded the most was waiting for him, taking a physical form in blank, pure white pages, and scraped, unfinished outlines.</p>
<p>He finally ran out of tasks to idle on, and there was nothing else to do but get in that office, and do the excruciating, agonizing task of all time.</p>
<p>Armin sat by his desk, finding interest in anything that passed across the opened window, a butterfly, a bird, a falling leaf.</p>
<p>The moist, dew dirt’s aroma wafted through the window, a branch from a near tree made its way through it, poking at the ceiling, Armin asked for Eren’s help to cut it off, but lately, procrastinating was Armin’s inseparable shadow.</p>
<p>He had been wondering the forest since he stepped into the office, avoiding to look at the page laying vacant on the desk, the pen in his hand tap-tap tapping on the hard surface of the wooden table, accidently drawing dots from where it plopped on the blank page laid in front of him, <em>as blank as my mind.</em></p>
<p>Sometime his eyes would linger on a certain notebook on the desktop, it was the only notebook he had filled from cover to cover, his handwriting cramped in it, filling every single line. Beside it, there was a small, wooden box.</p>
<p>Armin knew that living alone was the best choice for him, solitary was his method of functioning, even though Eren and Mikasa suggested having a two-stories house and all can live together, but Armin refused, saying that he didn’t want to intrude on their privacy, and it didn’t help that they were a bit too “touchy” for Armin’s comfort.</p>
<p>It’s not like Eren and Mikasa lived far away from him, they preferred to get a house in the village, its atmosphere depicted their childhood, and they found that soothing; another sugar cube to their new life, a place that reminded them of one of their best times, a proof that they were living a new life without forgetting about their past, the past that gave them this present, and hopefully, a brighter future.</p>
<p>Armin would hop through the vast lands of daydreaming, a fantasy overlapping the other, and when he was confronted with reality, the empty papers within his hands, a big, long wall hindering him from getting to the next imaginary place- he would grow wings and fly over it.</p>
<p>Armin snapped out of his dreams when he heard knocks on the front door, he got up, wiping the drool dripping down his chin with his sleeve, at least now he would have an actual reason to not work.</p>
<p>“Uncle Armin!” A kid yelled, their pitchy high voice stealing the serenity of the place in a second, Armin shook his head and laughed.</p>
<p>At the door, stood Eren, Mikasa, and little Ymir, all beaming at Armin, and all of them holding something in their hands.</p>
<p>“We figured you would want some company on your day off, we hope you don’t mind.” Mikasa said in her never-changing calming voice, waving a basket in front of her.</p>
<p>“Of course, he wouldn’t mind, he should be grateful we brought him lunch, better than his awful cooking.” Eren stepped past Armin inside the house -Mikasa rolling her eyes in the background- Ymir following him, but not before hugging Armin, and he couldn’t help but wonder how Historia trusted her daughter with these two. </p>
<p>Historia would send Ymir every now and then to visit Eren and Mikasa and stay for a few days, she was so attached to Eren, and would cry and thrash in her room if she didn’t see him at least once a month.</p>
<p>Armin didn’t have to tell his friends to make themselves at home, he never did, they would just invade the house and do whatever they felt like doing, and it’s not like Armin minded in the slightest, as long as they didn’t step into his office.</p>
<p>It was already lunch time, Ymir helped Eren set the table, as Armin went into his forbidden office, to repack whatever he tried to work on.</p>
<p>“How’s your project going?” Mikasa asked, leaning on the door frame, her arms crossed. She already got her answer when she saw all the blank, new papers, however, one notebook caught her attention.</p>
<p>“Which one?”</p>
<p>“The book.”</p>
<p>“Oh… not so well,” there was no point in denying the truth from Mikasa, he couldn’t lie to her anyway, besides, she was the only person he told about all his failed projects. Armin organized his desk, even though it wasn’t exactly jumbled up, still, he put pens into a cup, and papers -mostly new and untouched- in their arranged folders and into drawers, but he kept one notebook on the desktop.</p>
<p>“Hey Armin, why is that notebook… different?”</p>
<p>“Oh…” Armin peered down at what she mentioned, it certainly was different; its cover worn out, some papers out of their place, and the pages that once used to be white turned into a brown-ish color, “nothing, I just… write more in it, I guess,” Armin took the notebook and hid it in one of the drawers.</p>
<p>Mikasa decided to feign belief in Armin’s feeble lie, she looked around the office from where she stood, it looked more like a small library than an office to her, shelves surrounded the four walls, bending at the weight of the myriad books on them.</p>
<p>The place smelled of old books and a combination of floral and apple pie fragrance Mikasa was sure didn’t come from the opened window. The crimson rug under her feet had four flattened spots from the desk’s chair. Mikasa knew that Armin spends a lot of time in his office, probably all his free time…</p>
<p>“I’m really glad you guys came today.” Armin said as he sorted out a pile of papers into three separate files, “it does get lonely in the forest sometimes.” He let out a breathless chuckle but bit his lip when it sounded like a pathetic wail of a wet dog.</p>
<p>“Our house is always open for you, and you know that.” Mikasa said as she bit her lip, taking a step into the room, she looked up, noticing the invading branch, it suited the office’s aesthetic, “but, you know that having someone here with you would make a difference-”</p>
<p>“Mikasa, we’ve already went through this,” Armin rolled his eyes and tried to ignore Mikasa by concentrating on the papers in his hands.</p>
<p>“You can’t just stay alone forever.”</p>
<p>“I’m fine by myself for now, and it’s not like I’m on the verge of the grave, I’m twenty-two years old.”</p>
<p>“Even Jean and Hitch are dating!”</p>
<p>Armin blinked in surprise: “When did that happen?”<em> So Jean finally moved on from Mikasa, huh?</em></p>
<p>“Well, everyone knows they’re dating, except for them.”</p>
<p>Armin slapped his forehead: “They’re not even official and you guys…” he sighed, since when did people’s personal life regale others entertainment?</p>
<p>“One failed relationship doesn’t mean that you should stop trying,”</p>
<p>Armin dropped the thick files he had in his hand, and it fell right on his feet, he hissed in pain, but Mikasa ignored that as she went to read some books’ spines on the shelves, her hands clasped behind her back, making sure to not touch anything; she was aware that Armin doesn’t like guests in his office, and she already crossed that line, she trespassed into prohibited territory, she might as well be wary.</p>
<p>“You know who I’m talking about,” Mikasa wasn’t planning on dropping the subject.</p>
<p>Armin froze, a lump was forming at the back of his throat but he couldn’t swallow, he was cornered in his own place, sieged by Mikasa’s words, and he never thought Mikasa would mention <em>her, </em>in all the three years after the practically apocalyptic events they went through, he couldn’t recall Mikasa or Eren ever talking about-</p>
<p>“Sophie, I know I introduced you guys, and I don’t regret it, but you two just don’t work out with each other,” Mikasa’s fingers trespassed on an especially old book’s spine, they trailed the engraved title, <em>what’s beyond, </em>it said, Mikasa’s fingers were getting curious to what it could hold inside.</p>
<p>Armin closed his eyes, and almost choked a sigh: “That was a year and a half ago, I’ve moved on, and I’m sure she did too, and it’s not like we held any real emotions for each other-”</p>
<p>“But if I’m being honest, you did neglect her,” Mikasa picked the book from the shelf.</p>
<p>Armin hands slipped and a particular sharp edge of a paper sliced through the not-any-longer calloused skin, he did steam it in a second, but the nasty pain from a paper cut could never be topped, “It only lasted for a couple of months and both of us decided that we aren’t a match! It was mutual!” Armin stuffed the rest of his papers into one file, not caring if they were in the wrong order, he just wanted to get Mikasa out of his office as soon as possible-</p>
<p>Mikasa opened the book, or more like it flung open by itself on a certain page, as something metal and shiny fell off from it, landing with an unimpressive thud on the rug.</p>
<p>Armin reached for it, but it was too late, Mikasa was already inspecting the circular polished metal, she held it in the light, and saw a small notch on its side, she flicked it, a thorn popping from the ring, the tip ever so sharp, ready to cut into flesh.</p>
<p>Mikasa turned her eyes to the opened book in her other hand, <em>the ocean</em>, the title said at the top of the page, in cursive delicate writing, Mikasa scanned the page, at the bottom, a hand drawn picture of the ocean was fading, this book must be too old…</p>
<p>Armin tried to concoct a retort, but he ended up sputtering from where he was still crouched on the floor: “Th-that’s my ring! I just s-store it there!”</p>
<p>Mikasa put the ring back where it was, closed the book on it, and placed it back to where it was cramped with other books.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know that,” Mikasa said as she side-eyed a small wooden box on the desk, where she was sure Armin’s ring laid untouched, then she turned and walked out the office.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>“In a week or so, it will be the third anniversary of the end of the war.”</p>
<p>“Oh, is that so…”</p>
<p>Eren and Mikasa chatted as Armin silently listened to them, all sitting around the dining table, they were having spaghetti and meatballs for lunch, a Marleyan dish Niccolo taught them how to make, with Mikasa’s own twist and tips from when she watched Carla in the kitchen, everyone agreed that nothing can beat her recipe.</p>
<p>“I think they will hold a festival in the village,” Eren said before he stuffed a meat ball in his mouth.</p>
<p>“Fun!” Ymir chirped in, and Armin smiled; this kid did bring enormous joy to the trio, and Armin never thought that a child would change their whole lives like that.</p>
<p>“Yes! It’s gonna be so fun!” Mikasa said in a high pitchy voice to Ymir, who was grinning, her teeth all red from the sauce, “mama would surely let you spend it here with us.” Ymir nodded, before she was immersed again in her food.</p>
<p>“Armin,” Mikasa acknowledged him, he hummed, “me and Eren are going for sure, do you wanna tag along? We’re gonna have a lot of fun, I promise.”</p>
<p>Mikasa’s voice was soft, so soft, it reminded Armin of the summer fluffy, white clouds, and when Armin looked into her eyes, they were pleading for him to say yes.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Eren inquired, raising a confused eyebrow at Mikasa, “he won’t be here anyw- <em>mmpph</em>”</p>
<p>“What?” Armin asked.</p>
<p>“Never mind him,” Mikasa said, a forced grin on her face, as if she didn’t just knock the air out of Eren with her ‘playful nudge’, “so, you’re in?”</p>
<p>“I…” Armin wanted to say no, that he had a lot of work to do, and that he’s not in the mood to party, not to mention that there would be enough liquor for the whole village to get knocked out, and Armin was trying so hard to stay away from alcohol; he didn’t taste it in three years.</p>
<p>“I’ll think about it,” Armin decided to settle on a vague answer, he learnt to not give away promises like they were free postcards.</p>
<p>Mikasa’s lips twitched upwards in half a smile, a part of her ignoring the fact that Armin would most likely come up with an excuse to not go.</p>
<p>“How’s work?” Eren asked Armin, as he stuffed meatball number who-even-knows into his mouth.</p>
<p>“Good, I guess, less pressure, ever since I started working from the shadows.” Armin answered, even though the mouth-watering food was waiting on the plate, Armin’s fork idled at an olive on the side of the porcelain dish.</p>
<p>“Hanji did give you the option, yet here you are, don’t you ever think of retiring soon? I mean, me and Mikasa are pretty much living stress free-”</p>
<p>“I can’t just sit around, besides, I would be unemployed if I leave the military, and it’s not like creating strategies from a cabin in a forest is dangerous,” Armin repeated the answer he always replies with whenever this tirade of retirement is discussed, it worked every time and made them shut up-</p>
<p>“But don’t you ever consider-” Eren’s mouth was full of food, he chewed quickly and swallowed, his mouth stained with red sauce, “don’t you ever consider starting a family?”</p>
<p>Armin choked on air, he felt that olive stuck in his windpipe, except that he didn’t even eat it, Mikasa offered him a glass of water but he only waved her hand away and said: “Did-” <em>a cough </em>“the two of you” <em>another cough </em>“plan this?”</p>
<p>The shared silence told him so.</p>
<p>Armin got up, taking a napkin and wiping his mouth, only to realize that he didn’t eat anything: “I’m gonna go for a walk, and when I get back, I don’t wanna hear any more of this bullshit.”</p>
<p>The screech sound of his recently-vacant chair echoed through the room, before Armin left the house, holding himself from slamming the door behind him.</p>
<p>“We… went too far… didn’t we?”</p>
<p>Mikasa nodded, looking at little Ymir who was devouring the rest of what was left on her plate, oblivious to her surroundings.</p>
<p>Armin had to muster all the remaining self-restraint to not send the door flying off its hinges; they both knew that these topics ticked him off, and they went through this dialogue more times than he would care to count, but still, they insist on doing it over and over-</p>
<p>His raging thoughts halted in his mind as well as his feet when he was met by an unexpected guest, frozen at the bottom of the two steps leading to the porch was Connie, a suitcase on the ground beside his feet.</p>
<p>“H-hey, Connie, what’s up?” Armin internally slapped himself at the feeble way he greeted his friend, but electric zips were still thrashing in his mind, sending jolts to his tremulous hands.</p>
<p>Armin shoved his hands in his pockets and walked to Connie, and this seemed to wake Connie from whatever trance he was lost in, then, a current of words were hastily flowing out of Connie’s mouth, overlapping and incoherent, and Armin couldn’t make a single word out of it.</p>
<p>Worry and concern shoved anger out of Armin’s nerves, in a second, he was in front of Connie, shaking his shoulders, and that quaked his jostling words into a cohesive sentence: “Do you want to go on a walk?”</p>
<p>Armin was taken aback by this sudden request, they didn’t see each other in months, and Connie didn’t write to Armin that he was going to visit, he merely just popped up in front of his door.</p>
<p>This wasn’t like Connie.</p>
<p>“Sure, but do you want to go inside? Maybe rest for a bit? We were just having lunch, so the food is probably still warm,” Armin tried to ease Connie off whatever he was struggling with, to clear his mind for a minute.</p>
<p>“No, I don’t feel like eating, and I need to get this off my chest, thanks though.”</p>
<p>“Ok then, let’s go.”</p>
<p>Armin walked side by side with Connie, he knew a rout in the forest long enough for Connie to talk with no pressure. Even though concern was chewing at Armin’s patience, he couldn’t force Connie into saying a word, he knew his friend for so long to know not to do so.</p>
<p>However, Armin bit the inside of his lower lip, holding his tongue from snapping at Connie, who didn’t stop fidgeting in his place; a hand would shoot up from his pocket up to caress his short grey hair, before it rubbed his temples and hid back into his pocket, his steps were out of rhythm, one short step, the next long enough to make Connie take a small step backwards to stay beside Armin. He was playing with the skin around his fingernails, Armin glanced at them and saw how red they were, with a darker shade of brown inside the edges of them, <em>dried blood.</em></p>
<p>Armin crossed his arms, as if this would restrain him from saying anything he would regret.</p>
<p>“The predators are far into the forest, don’t worry,” Armin couldn’t hold himself back from saying that, he tried to keep his voice even and unbothered; but irritation seeped into his tone because Connie kept checking behind them as if someone was following them.</p>
<p>Connie stopped dead in his tracks, and Armin did a small dance of joy in his mind that his friend finally decided to speak out.</p>
<p>“Sasha.”</p>
<p>Armin’s arms dropped beside him.</p>
<p>One word, and it made Armin know exactly what was coming up next.</p>
<p>“I can’t- she just- I don’t know, I thought I was over it- it’s unfair-”</p>
<p>“Hey hey hey,” Armin clamped Connie’s head in his hands, steering his head so he could look into his eyes; they were a light shade of a dreadful pink, “take a deep breath, and don’t pressure it, I’m not going anywhere, I’m here to listen,” Armin didn’t waver his eyes off Connie’s, his words anchored Connie down, made him stop for a second.</p>
<p>Armin didn’t let go of Connie until he nodded, then Armin motioned for a large, fallen tree trunk on the side, and both sat on it.</p>
<p>“I don’t know from where to start.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine, take your time.”</p>
<p>Connie was silent for a moment, he swallowed and rested his elbows on his knees, his back arching with the weight of words he had yet to unleash.</p>
<p>“She… ever since she was gone, she pops up in my sleep, but… most of the time it’s really just a dream that doesn’t make any sense,” Connie mumbled, he was apprehensive, trying to remember one of these dreams, and when he did, he jolted back, startling Armin, who sprung out his arms in his direction, thinking he choked or something, but the wide smile on Connie’s face made Armin retreat back his hands.</p>
<p>“Th-there was that one dream! I don’t know where I was, but I remember that I was calling her, and I was getting irritated because she didn’t answer, and suddenly, a mountain of a steamy, hot potatoes emerged from nowhere! Like from no fucking where!”</p>
<p>Armin nodded his head rapidly, permitting a hesitant smile on his face despite a few droplets of spit splashing his face.</p>
<p>“Then the mountain just split open and there she was, she was floating? I guess she was, and she held out her hand to me and said in a decent voice I’ve never heard her speak in before,” Connie puffed up his chest and held out his hand to Armin, acting out his dreams, with a thick voice he mimicked: “come with me, my dear fellow, to the land of food,” Connie broke his demeanor and was laughing so hard, birds were abandoning their spots on the trees around them.</p>
<p>Armin laughed alongside Connie, and he tried to look over the hint of sadness in Connie’s voice, and he didn’t persist on the small cracks interfering with his tone, his shaking fingers, or the tears glistening inside his eyes.</p>
<p>Connie laughs subsided gradually, and then he wiped his nose on his sleeve, his vision was getting a little blurry, but he kept going, his voice calmer and quiet: “It was like this, all along, just laughs, but for the past four months, or maybe five, all I see are nightmares, one where her neck split open, or when the bones in her body snap, or blood pour from her eyes.”</p>
<p>Tears were rolling freely down Connie’s cheeks, his words choked, half of them battling their way out with his tears, and Armin could barely understand what his friend was saying anymore, but one single sentence was the same as a big stone dropping down Armin’s stomach.</p>
<p>“No matter where I see her or how it starts, she dies each time.”</p>
<p>A deep part of Armin knew that this was coming, he knew a dead person usually visits the living ones’ dreams, sometime it’s just a recall of a good memory, or a comforting hug, Armin once had a dream of his grandfather hugging him and singing him to sleep, however. Sometimes these long gone people haunts your dreams and turn them into nightmares, like some sort of a reminder that they didn’t deserve dying, retelling you that they will have a long last effect on your life, some sort of a witchcraft that will trap you for as long as you keep on breathing, to the point where it makes you want to-</p>
<p>“I want to forget about her,” Connie let this one single sentence out, and looked straight into Armin’s eyes.</p>
<p>Armin was still, not moving, he just stared back into Connie’s eyes, waiting for them to blink, but they seemed to turn into an unmoving sculpture. Armin shook his head, unbelieving and agitated.</p>
<p>Connie wanted to forget about Sasha,</p>
<p>Connie wants Eren to wipe off his memory.</p>
<p>Armin’s heart was beating in his ears, he didn’t notice his fists tightly clutched until he felt a nail digging excruciatingly into them. He tried to speak, to let out a rational reaction, some right-headed reaction that Armin was known for all his life.</p>
<p>
  <em>Memories, memories, memories, memories, Annie-</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Pain.</em>
</p>
<p>“Don’t start with some noble speech about ‘letting the dead keep on living in your mind’, I can’t,” Connie kept going, his eyes veered up at the sky, “those nightmares are ruining the good memory I have of her, and I don’t want that, she doesn’t deserve that.”</p>
<p>Armin only watched his friend, his head up to the sky, his eyes wide open, tears gushing down his cheeks, trickling off his chin before dripping onto his open hands,</p>
<p>“Well, Eren and Mikasa are actually visiting me today, we should… go back and… talk.”</p>
<p>Connie regarded Armin as if he grew a second head, he thought that Armin would give a long ass tirade about all this memory tempering shit, it didn’t cross his mind that he would be so easy to talk to about this specific topic.</p>
<p>Three years ago, the day following Mikasa and Eren’s wedding, Connie found Armin in the shower, soaked wet with freezing water, hugging himself and shedding tears… silently.</p>
<p>After that, Armin caught a very bad cold and had to stay in bed for five days straight.</p>
<p>Connie was certain that this memory crossed Armin’s mind too as they walked back the same path to his house.</p>
<p>Each step Armin took sent dozens of electric shudders into his body, he tried to calm himself by watching the birds flying from one branch to the other, or by the sound of his and Connie’s feet scraping against the dirt, but his ears magnified the voices into deafening thuds and screeches, the veins in his forehead were throbbing</p>
<p>What exacerbated it was that he couldn’t hide from the guilt growing inside of him at how he snapped at his friends, he didn’t mean to, he surely didn’t and shouldn’t have, after all, they were doing that out of concern.</p>
<p>Even though he was pissed at them, he had to apologize, but he would save that for later, there were more pressing matters. However, when Armin and Connie reached the house, Eren and Mikasa had already left.</p>
<p>Armin took Connie’s suitcase and walked inside his house, but Connie tried to stop him: “You know it’s fine, I can just go straight to their house-”</p>
<p>“Connie you look like shit, take a break first, maybe sleep for some time, and we’ll discuss everything later.”</p>
<p>Connie followed Armin silently.</p>
<p>Armin found a plate of food wrapped in a towel waiting for him on the table, he smiled, <em>there goes Mikasa being the mom again, </em>but he wasn’t hungry at all.</p>
<p>“Hey Connie, want something to eat?” Armin said as he walked to the table.</p>
<p>“Uh… what do you have?”</p>
<p>Armin unwrapped the towel: “Spaghetti and-”</p>
<p>A folded paper fell from it.</p>
<p>Armin put down the plate and unfolded the paper, only to find out that they were <em>two </em>papers folded together, one was brown and looked somewhat formal, while the other had scrabbles on which Armin immediately recognized as Eren’s messy handwriting.</p>
<p>“Spaghetti and what?” Connie asked, but Armin didn’t answer.</p>
<p>The paper wrinkled underneath Armin’s grasp as his eyes scanned the content of it, his jaw tightening with every word.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>none of yall expected things to take this turn huh<br/>* evil laughter*<br/>aaahh I finally updated!! it's been almost a month, sheesh... <br/>I think it took me so long to update because I wrote a new one-shot called Betrayal<br/>check it out!! <br/>I mean if you want...<br/>but you should check it out lol<br/>it's very different than anything I've written before and idk I'm kinda proud of how it turned out<br/>annnywaaayyy<br/>so the Sophie I mentioned in this chapter is a completely made up character, and her name is the same as my friend lol<br/>I asked her if she can be Armin's ex girlfriend and without hesitation, she said yes<br/>also another note... it's really up to you to decide if Connie and Sasha's relationship is platonic or romantic <br/>ok I hope you enjoyed this and as always, feedback is much appreciated!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hellooo!!! I’m back with another chapter!<br/>I hope this chapter would make up for my absence<br/>Since the hadn’t been updated in some time, here’s a recap for the last chapters:</p>
<p>It’s been three years since the end of the war and Eren and Mikasa’s wedding, and the last time Armin saw Annie.<br/>Armin lives alone in a small humble cabin at the outskirts of a town. On a weekend, as he was trying (and failing) to work on projects, Eren, Mikasa, and little Ymir paid him a surprise visit.</p>
<p>All was normal, until Mikasa and Eren teased Armin a bit too much about his love life.<br/>Armin angrily left the house, only to be surprised by another guest; Connie.</p>
<p>Connie was in a miserable state, and told Armin that he wants Eren to erase his memory; to forget about Sasha who had been haunting his dreams (and him feeling guilty for living life after she died)<br/>Armin convinces Connie to go to his house, and when they do, Eren, Mikasa, and little Ymir had already left, leaving two letters behind.<br/>Armin read them… he’s displeased.</p>
<p>Okieee I hope this recap was useful!!<br/>I hope you enjoy reading!<br/>(stay until the end, I promise, you won’t regret it)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The air was salty.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin licked his lips, and he tasted salt, as if he kissed the ocean.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seagulls hunted for generous travelers who tossed bread crumbs, seeking nourishment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sun was hot on his skin, coated with a slick layer of sweat. Blonde strands of his bangs sticking to his forehead, he kept brushing them away, but the soft, salty breeze ruffled them back on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a hot summer day, hotter than usual. He should probably get inside his rented cabin, but the ocean had him under its spell. Armin held a book in his hands, neglected. His eyes never wavered off the infinite blue laid in front of him, blending with the sky in the middle. The white foam made by the ship matched the fluffy clouds scattered upon the sky.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ocean enchanted Armin, it did since the very first time he saw it, and everytime he sees it, he has all these unexplained sensations trembling in his veins, and he completely loses himself in the vast blue around him, the endless waves, and the sun's reflected rays on them, adorning the blue with glimmering glints of white.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He floated on a canvas with a bucket of blue paint spilled on, and he was that one, marginal dust on it. He couldn’t see the end of the canvas, and he lost the starting point long ago.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ship broke through the waves, making its way to the safety of the island, and a tingle of excitement tackled Armin’s lips into a smile. He suppressed it, shaking it off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rage from two days ago felt so foreign to him at that moment. He almost forgot about the clutched paper in his hand; the reason he was on a ship, on his way to the continent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Connie, whom Armin left in his house, had promised Armin he would take care of the house. Even though it wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> big, and it’s not like Armin had a backyard filled with plants or a pet to take care of, still, Armin had a strong feeling that when he comes back, he’s gonna be greeted by a heap of charred wood replacing his house.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If anything calmed Armin a bit, it was his certainty that Connie wouldn’t step into his office. Since their training day, Connie had this cold war with books and theoretical subjects, and Armin was sure that his friend wasn’t nostalgic for those days-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha!” Someone screamed from behind Armin, and he jumped in his place, a gasp left his lungs as he turned around to strike whoever the intruder was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes landed on someone that he was perplexed - to say the least- how coincidence brought them together, on </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>ship.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell? Hitch?!” Armin cried out, hating his shaky tone. His heart was beating so fast against his ribcage, it might as well jump out his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hitch laughed out loud, clapping her palms on her thighs, attracting other travelers’ attention. The flowery-patterned summer dress she was wearing ended right above her knees, her hair pulled away from her face in a bun so messy that seemed it might break at any second. Armin couldn’t help but admire how pretty she was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He swiveled his gaze back to the ocean he was lost in a minute ago, disappointed at his interrupted moment, but after the shock wore off, he realized that he missed Hitch immensely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh God,” Hitch choked out between hiccups of ceasing laughter before she dropped beside Armin, “you should’ve seen your face!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha ha, so funny,” Armin tried to sound annoyed, but the smile on his face seeped into his fakely-bent-up tone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What a great coincidence! What’s up, Brainiac?” Then she leaned closer to him, and whispered “can’t risk calling your real name, after all, it’s been three years since you died.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin rolled his eyes at the nickname, conceded to ignore it, but he answered her inquiry anyway: “I was going to ask you the same question, what business do you have here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The ship? Nothing, I don’t work here,” Hitch retorted, spreading her arms on the bench’s back, crossing her legs, and Armin rolled his eyes again, “ok ok, I just have some business on the continent, what about you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin unconsciously tightened his grip on the paper in his hand, overlooking that this unremarkable gesture didn’t get past Hitch, who immediately snatched the paper from Armin’s hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!” he tried to get it back, but Hitch slapped her palm on his face, stopping him as his hands flailed helplessly, trying to retrieve the letter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, well isn’t this interesting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>none of your business-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dear Armin…” Hitch started reading out the letter, and Armin groaned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear Armin…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>We’re so sorry if we were too much trouble today… we’re just worried for you and want you to be happy…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>So we may or may not have asked Hanji for a small favor</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Mikasa and Eren, and little Ymir</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small stick figure with two ponytails was drawn at the bottom of the paper, beside Ymir’s name.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Little Ymir… isn’t that the queen’s kid?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a struggle, he released himself from Hitch’s grip. He rolled his neck and crossed his arms, nodding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So the queen still trusts her kid with these two morons?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin didn’t answer; however, he did wonder how she knew about that… but considering what Mikasa told him a few days ago, about Hitch and Jean…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are they talking about?” she asked, checking the letter’s back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh…” Armin reached into his pocket, there was no point in hiding it from Hitch anyway…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hitch read through the formal letter, her eyes scanning over it so quickly Armin thought her eyes would roll to the back of her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes lingered at the bottom of the letter, where the official cof the Survey Corps was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ten official days off from Commander Hanji…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hitch gawed at Armin, before she lobbed the paper, giving Armin a second to catch it before it flew with the wind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hitch scoffed: “And I thought your dog died or something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have a dog-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what are you so upset about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin bit the inside of his lower lip. He trusted Hitch a long time ago, since the old days of spending sleepless nights at a certain cold basement, staring at a bulk of clear crystal, a girl floating in the middle of it…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin shook his head. He wanted to lie about the letter, come up with any excuse, but he couldn’t. Maybe the heat affected him, but... he suddenly had a foreign impulse to talk and talk, to let it all out…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know I didn’t ask for it…” Armin started, he was hesitant for a moment, but when he glanced at Hitch… she was listening, giving all her attention to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath and continued: “I never asked for a break, and they acted on their own, and I hate when they do that and it makes me feel pathetic and I’m so fucking done with them looking down at me like I’m still the weak nine years old kid- ouch!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hitch flicked her finger at Armin’s nose, he winced, wishing he could glare her to death.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>so pathetic,” she conceded, not stopping a second before saying it, “you never leave your house, you’re failing at relationships-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was just one fucking relationship-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-and you developed a temper.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure as hell did.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok so what?” Armin turned to her, frustration flailed his hands in front of his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hitch raised an eyebrow at him, before she clicked her tongue: “You’re hopeless.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin swallowed, he was thinking of any retort, any snarky comment that would throw her off, a remark that will make her as annoyed as he was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It hit him, and he knew exactly what it was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leaned back on the seat, and with as much calmness he could muster, he said: “Well, it looks like you and Jean are much closer than I remember.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From the side of his eyes, Armin saw the muscles in Hitch’s forearm clinch, the edge of her eyebrow uptick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin fished for another comment: “I never thought he was your type-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh shut it, don’t mention that fucker’s name.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Hitch was trying to throw Armin off with her comment, then she vastly succeeded; it felt as if she kicked him off the deck and into the ocean. He flinched and shook his head, stared, trying to decide whether Hitch was joking or not, but she looked so serious, and Armin found himself speechless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guilt surfaced up his throat, because he knew exactly what it was like to be teased about this exact same topic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I’m sorry, I just thought you and him… you know, maybe you’re right, I’ve probably grown a bit impulsive through these…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin forgot the rest of the sentence when he saw Hitch shaking… with laughter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She bursted out in cackles and Armin touched his face, checking if he grew a third eye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re-” she snorted, “unbelievable!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so done with you,” Armin got up, taking his suitcase with him. Hitch was dying of laughter as she clinged onto his wrist, splattering pleads for him to stay but half of her words were gibberish through laughter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No no no please please wait!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so fucking done with you-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No no I promise I’ll explain!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin plopped himself back on the bench, suitcase falling beside his jittering feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to keep his eyes on a seagull as the hysterically-lost-it-all woman beside him gradually got herself together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hitch wiped a tear away as she said: “I knew I have it in me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not explaining yourself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve developed a temper alright,” Armin started to get up again, but she anchored him down with a hand to his shoulder, “no no please listen,” he sat down, but didn’t look at her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to the continent because I’m auditioning for a movie.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh… a what?” Armin heard that term somewhere before, he couldn’t put his finger on it…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turned to him and elaborated: “It’s like… a play, but not really, it’s just… a bunch of pictures…” then she stopped, gesturing with her hands, as if the movement would compensate for her non-existent, poor explanation.</span>
</p>
<p><span>“Oh…” Armin remembered what she was talking about, it was these </span><em><span>movies </span></em><span>that are shown in places called </span><em><span>cinemas</span></em><span>…</span> <span>motion pictures.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Actors, directors, screenwriters… he read about these in one of his books.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And… you want to become... an actress?” Armin asked, his eyebrows scrunched together. He would certainly be the happiest for Hitch if she became a </span>
  <em>
    <span>big star</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he couldn’t imagine a soldier choosing that path after years of serving in the military….</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, after the war, the whole Military Police branch was wiped out. I thought, why not?” She retorted, shrugging her shoulders, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh right…” of course the Military Police was terminated in the aftermath of the war. There was simply no point in dividing themselves into three military branches. The same goes for the Garrison. All the soldiers were given the option of transferring to the Survey Corps or retiring…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin might be the only one from the original corps still serving in the military, beside Hanji of course… even captain Levi retired and opened a small coffee shop…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have that look on your face,” Hitch commented.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That look,” Hitch pointed at Armin’s face in circles,”it’s like that… that face you used to make when you stared at Annie.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh…” Armin went silent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was that look… like, you were just absolutely out of it, like you’re dreaming or I don’t know, but very distracted,” Hitch looked at Armin, the seldom look in his eyes stopped her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked away, pressed his lips, his eyelids fluttering,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” Hitch softly shook her head, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s ok.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know she meant a lot to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A beat of silence, seagulls’ cooing puncturing it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you…” Hitch muttered, “still think of her?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin’s jaw clenched.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A beat of silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hitch clicked her tongue: “and by the way, I wasn’t lying about Jean.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin’s jaw relaxed a bit, glad she changed the subject.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t stand him, and he can’t stand me, and I don’t even know if what we had is even considered a relationship,” She said casually. Armin didn’t know how to reply; should her offer comfort? because apparently Hitch wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>close to Jean after all, and the break up -if it’s even should be called that- didn’t seem to affect her in the slightest…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin gazed back at the ocean. A thin line of land was steadily boldening as the ship cruised towards it. At that moment, Armin wanted to freeze the boat for eternity, to stay in the midst of this vast, bottomless blue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” Hitch said, and Armin turned his head towards her. He was taken aback by the soft look on her face, she was being genuine, but she didn’t continue her sentence, she merely looked in Armin’s eyes, and he understood everything she didn’t say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry about her.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine, it really is fine,” Armin said, a smile on his lips, it didn’t reach his ears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hitch’s lips pressed into a thin smile, before her face brightened up, a light bulb flashed above her head, and she suggested: “You know there’s this place that I heard off, it’s some sort of a village, or maybe a small town, anyway, it has some really interesting places, besides, it will be holding a massive celebration for the third anniversary of the end of the war.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“….and?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And? Seriously?” Hitch rolled her eyes, but Armin didn’t fidget. She smacked her lips before continuing: “I can meet you there, in two days, I had other plans, but I can delay those, I can get you a room at the same hotel I’m staying in, we can have fun, yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After that, Armin found himself standing at the harbor, a small piece of bagel-brown paper in his hand, an address scrabbled on it, as Hitch waved off to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At least, he had plans.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin had two days for himself to discover the city he was staying at.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He mooched around the town, his suitcase dragging beside him. Just like the first time he visited Marley with the survey corps a few years ago; the same overwhelming jitters of astonishment rushed through his body. Enthusiasm of unveiling-the-unknown awakened in his heart, pumping quivers in his veins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The mid-day sun overhead, shedding light on gray-tiled streets meandering between similarly-gray markets, contouring the sides. Puffs of smoke emitting from chimneys, blending together in a whirl of a gray before mounting up, the sunlight filtering through it, softening, adding a touch of haziness to the atmosphere.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In contrast to the gray-dull blocks, people clad in rainbow-palette charades, a flurry of liveliness, carrying singing instruments alongside it, its harmony a blend of melodious laughter, rhythmic chatters, nostalgic uproarious kids’ squeals, and the shopkeepers howling offers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>People spoke different languages. He recognized his own language spoken here and there, but in completely different accents that he didn’t understand parts of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One cohesive symphony delicately orchestrated. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Melodies from afar punctuated the coordinated harmony, adjoining another layer of ecstasy. Armin thought that it was his ear putting together all these overwhelmingly-pleasing sounds and making up this melody, but as he snagged his way through the sea of colors, the music source got louder, the notes in sync with Armin’s heartbeat, pulsating in his ears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His feet led him to the sound, and it was close, so close. Armin broke out of a curtain of people, and-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A guy sat on a carpet woven from the rainbow beams, his fingers strumming strings effortlessly, on an instrument that resembled a guitar, but its neck thin, its body a hollow swelling of light brown wood. He played it like it was second nature to breathing, the notes compatible with the thudding of boots and chatter, merging in congruence. He faded with his surroundings, his gray unfamiliar-clothing matching the jagged bricks of the building behind him, only a few eyes glanced at him or at the colorful carpet beneath him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he saw that Armin was staring, he winked at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unexpecting it, Armin backed away, accidentally stepping on someone’s foot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin tumbled but didn’t fall, he stuttered out: “I’m so sorry!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A man, the man Armin stepped on his foot, was babbling in a language Armin never heard before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin flailed his arms around, trying to apologize somehow, but he stopped; the man smiled, bowed his head, and put his palm on his heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dumbfoundedly, Armin found himself tentatively mimicking the man’s gesture.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After that, the man beckoned Armin to follow him, and started down the street. After a hesitant moment, Armin nodded and walked side by side with the man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their walk was interrupted constantly by the man stopping every few steps to greet someone. Armin wondered if everyone knew each other in this town… then it dawned on him that you don’t have to know someone to wish them a good day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The town itself was a decaying skeleton of bricks and stone, but the souls occupying it blew life into every crevice of it, blooming as those souls grew older, their bond solidifying like bricks within walls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They jostled their way through the current of colors. With every step they took, a sweet aroma wafted through the air. Armin sniffed, spotting a coffee shop down the street. The man invited him in, offering a hot drink and a weird dessert that Armin had no idea what it was made of, except for the flower petals adorning it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man refused any payment, doing the same hand-on-the-heart gesture from earlier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few minutes later, Armin resumed roaming with a warm cup in his hand. The burnt-brown mixture was not different from any other coffee, but the smell and the taste had a unique </span>
  <em>
    <span>twist </span>
  </em>
  <span>to them, accompanied with the flowers-infused dessert; an addicting taste that he could get used to. Armin couldn’t pinpoint the different ingredients, but enjoyed it nonetheless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beside the coffee shop stood a thin tall construction with a pointy head, like a pencil. Armin saw exact replicas of it scattered around the town as well; different colors and sizes, but same embellishments. He didn’t know its function; it reminded him of a lighthouse, but it certainly wasn’t; no lighthouse is in the middle of land.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A marginal part of Armin found it hard to admit it, but he felt… happy, or more like relieved. He surprised himself by the sudden feeling of </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanting </span>
  </em>
  <span>to go out, to see people and walk through crowds, not interacting with them, but merely watching from afar. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was caging himself in a shell, forbidding himself from this very primitive liberty for </span>
  <em>
    <span>so long</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A new yet rudimentary form of freedom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He regretted treating Mikasa and Eren badly a few days ago. When he first read the letter, he boiled with anger. Ignoring Connie’s shouts, he sprinted out his house, taking the shortest route to Mikasa and Eren’s place, and when he reached it, he barely held himself back from denting the door with knocking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren cracked the door open, and when he saw Armin, he slammed it shut in his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was when Connie stepped in, and after tedious tirades and three cups of coffee, he convinced Armin to take this vacation and </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘enjoy his time’</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin bought a postcard and an envelope, intending to write to Eren and Mikasa and apologize to them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He spent the rest of the day walking through town, taking in as much detail as possible, collecting memories to tell, and when his legs were numb enough to stumble upon, Armin decided to get something to eat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sat on a bench at a square, a spacious square with a fountain centering it, kids splashing water, as their parents shopped at the markets surrounding the place. A mouth-watering aroma allured Armin to a traditional restaurant where he got a sandwich with a drink, both have foreign names that were too hard for him to pronounce.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As his muscles relaxed, he realized how tired he was. He didn’t rest after the long boat trip, captivated by the charming spirit of that town, besides, he had been walking for hours with a suitcase as an extra weight. He needed a place to stay for the night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small girl with unruly red locks flailing around her face jumped around, her green, flowery dress swirling with every step she took. A stack of newspaper weighing in her hands, obviously a burden.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin waved his hand, catching her attention. With a smile on her face, she approached him, handing out a newspaper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Armin said, but the girl skewed her head at him in confusion, she probably spoke a different language.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“O-oh, um… thaaaa….nnnkkk….yooouuu…” he repeated it again but slowly, only to realize it wouldn’t make her understand. But then, she pointed at her ears, and it dawned on Armin; she was deaf. He remembered the hand-on-heart gesture from the coffee man before, so Armin bowed his head, and put his hand on his heart. The girl smiled, and did the same. He paid for the newspaper, and the girl trudged back to the middle of the square, holding the newspaper stack tight to her chest, keeping it dry with the kids splashing water around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin opened the newspaper. He sighed when he saw most of it was written in the language he spoke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first title made him choke on his sandwich.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>As the third anniversary of the war is nearing, the world is wondering, is it really over?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin scanned through the rest of the page, his mouth inching wider with every word, a crumb of chewed bread fell out his mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it really over? Are all titan shifters actually dead?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Or is it just another trick from the devils of paradise?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The world demands proof that the Eldians are unable to turn into titans anymore, and it won’t rest until the truth is out.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin couldn’t believe his eyes, and suddenly, the sandwich in his hand was no longer appealing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hunting for an affordable inn started. Armin roamed the streets again, instead of keeping his chin up and reading signboards, his gaze was fixated on others; he felt every pair of eyes on him, only watching him, somehow knowing that he was the colossal titan, with one, unremarkable scratch, he could blow this whole city, charring it into dust, as if it never existed before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fear shoved the ruthless joyfulness into a far, abandoned corner, cackling. Sweat broke on Armin’s forehead, his heart beating fast in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the first time in three years, Armin felt unsafe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All he knew for the past three years was living for his own self, </span>
  <em>
    <span>safely</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He was still stuck with the military, and he had troubles sleeping the first few weeks he moved </span>
  <em>
    <span>alone </span>
  </em>
  <span>into his house, but it was as if he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>reborn, </span>
  </em>
  <span>turned a new page, and started a brand new life. Even if the whole world declared his death, for him, it was a new beginning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin needed a quiet place, as fast as possible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He entered the very first inn he laid eyes on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The inn was in the middle of the town, with an affordable price and clean rooms. Not big but not small. It wasn’t crowded nor was it empty. He booked a room closest to the emergency exit, hastily snatched the key from the concierge's hand, throwing a trembling thank-you over his shoulder as he scuttled as fast as he could up the stairs, reaching his room, checking the number engraved on the key twice, before going in and locking the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He flopped his suitcase on the bed, closed the curtains, then double checked that the door was locked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stepping into the bathtub, he stayed under the warm spray of the shower longer than needed, all the while checking behind the curtains.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He snuck under the blankets, unexpectedly cold after the warm shower, slept with one eye open, as light gradually faded behind the curtains, denoting the end of his first day of this unforeseen vacation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The last thing he thought of before drifting into an uneasy sleep- was buying a ticket back to the island, first thing in the morning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Light crept into the room as the sun rose up in the sky. Armin didn’t see it, he was under his blankets, speculating the closed curtains, his heart thudding loudly in his ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His ears perked up for any sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His throat was dry as a desert.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His water bottle was across the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin observed it, unmoving. He closed his eyes for a long second, hoping that when he opens them, the water bottle would be right in front of his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it didn’t move an inch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He should get going, get up, gather his stuff, and leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>This is ridiculous, Connie himself would be ashamed.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He got up, a shiver went up his spine the moment his toes touched the carpeted floor. Even though he was aware he was being an idiot, he couldn’t shake off this paranoia. Tiptoeing to the water bottle, he reached to it, his mouth getting dryer, his fingers were an inch away from it-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>KNOCK KNOCK!!!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin hit the water bottle, knocking it off, water spilling on the floor, splashing the curtain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Freeze.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t dare move a limb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His brain went through every possibility of who could be at the door. Angry people with torches and swords? Maybe men in black with guns in their hands? Or it was the government on a mission to arrest him? Or- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>KNOCK KNOCK!!!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin flinched. He took a deep breath, and approached the door with inaudible steps, as light as he could. It felt like ages before he reached the door. He spied through the </span>
  <span>peephole</span>
  <span>, it was blurred with dust, but it was enough to see a </span>
  <em>
    <span>figure </span>
  </em>
  <span>of someone standing there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A woman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A blonde woman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No way no way no way-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Short</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Petite</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin leaned against the door, squinting, trying to decipher her features, his heart involuntary beating faster in his chest-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin fell back, tumbling on his ass, a grunt escaped his mouth. He slammed his palm on his mouth, the pain from the fall momentarily vanishing, but it was too late.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright if someone is in there, for God’s sake just answer the fucking door, I got other businesses to do!” a gruff voice called from the other side of the door, impatient, their tapping foot could be heard from down the hall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s not… her...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yes?” Armin squeaked out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Towels? This is room’s services, do you need extra towels?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What? Room service? I didn’t ask for-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just answer the goddamn question-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“N-no!” Armin half shouted, trembling, “th-thanks I don’t need t-towels please.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You got a letter,” the gruff woman added.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A letter? Wha-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello?! Can you stay with me for one fucking minute-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry!” He blurted out, “f-from whom?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do I look like I would know?” A very loud sigh, “are you even gonna open the goddamn door? Actually nevermind-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin heard rustling, before the tip of white paper sneaked under the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Next time answer the door faster, just wasting my Goddamn time, as if I had any more time to waste…” the complaints faded down the hallway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin layed on the floor for extra few minutes, energy drained out of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another letter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin feared what could be in it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He slit open the top of the envelope with trembling fingers, shook it, a small piece of wrinkled brown paper fell out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He held it so close to his eyes, rereading the few lines over and over again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ayyooo Armin!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope you enjoyed your free time!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Just a reminder about our meeting tomorrow, oh and I already got you a train ticket and a room in that hotel</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>See ya there!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hitccchhh~</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t leave his room for the rest of the day. Plans of leaving to the island seemed way far off reach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At night, Armin took the train to the town Hitch told him about. Keeping his eyes down, his movement unnoticeable, dissolving within the train’s car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was barely dawn when he arrived, the sky a dark blue, the moon absent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was one of those nights where you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face; the surroundings plunged into darkness. The only available light coming from fluorescent street bulbs with vague halos, fireflies zipping around them. He barely got himself to the hotel Hitch told him about, the process of checking in all but blurry. Paranoia substituted by exhaustion. He flopped on the bed, only able to kick off his shoes before he drifted into an uneasy sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He woke up at noon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sweaty, hot, tangled in the sheets, the sun glaring through the window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sleeping at dawn and waking up at noon was one of the things Armin avoided for the past three years; he was an early bird who liked mornings. When he woke up with the sun scorching in the middle of the sky, it was as if he fell off a cliff and all his bones were broken, muscles from head to toe aching.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course, the morning buffet the hotel provided had long ended, (now that he was aware of it, the hotel Hitch recommended was rather nice… pricey as well, he noted to talk about this with her, he couldn’t let her pay for it). Armin could no longer ignore his stomach walls clamping on each other, so, with caution, all his senses fully activated, he left his room, making sure to hide all his personal stuff underneath the mattress and behind the closet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only then did he have a chance to look around the town.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Frighteningly astonishing, it looked as a bucket of rainbow splashed on it. The silent buildings decided to grow non identically; each one sprouted from its roots in fortuitous angles, frozen mid dance on inaudible tunes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A canvas of a bored artist and a brush, spontaneously drawing strokes wherever and however. And what was a mere boredom act had become a masterpiece others marvel at.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was quiet for such a colorful city, even though people zipped up and down the streets, but for Armin’s eyes that were still adjusting to the light, it was all but a blurry gray-scaled lines.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After his vision cleared… he found out it wasn’t much different than when they were blurry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>People clothed in three colors… black, white, and gray. Striped, dotted, and squared. Their faces wore similar schemes; stoic, prosaic, </span>
  <em>
    <span>blank</span>
  </em>
  <span>. All busy and in a hurry, scurrying down the streets, everyone going on with their day, not glancing at one another.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin, with his blue shirt and brown pants, felt so out of the place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Any sort of the modern technology Armin saw when he first visited the continent- were nowhere to be seen; there was not a single car on the streets, only black bicycles that passed by him like wind. The zig-zagging chimneys sprouting from houses didn’t blow gray toxics into the air, and the air tasted different; clean and refreshing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>However, the fresh air didn’t seem to affect the people at all, either they were too used to it, or simply didn’t care.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin swallowed, thinking why on earth did Hitch recommend this city. Yes the place was nice, cheerful and pulsating with life, but its people were as emotionless as an unremarkable stone on the sideroad.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t about the fanciness of a place, its color or its shapes, it never was and never will be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it was all about the people.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They either spread life in town, or rob it from it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin tried to not make eye contact with anyone, and not because of his dilemma of being exposed, but because everyone seemed intolerable to a delaying-glance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He permitted himself to stroll the streets and discard his situation on the shelf for a while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After all, it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>ridiculous</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Utterly ridiculous.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a turn right, a turn left, walked for some time, went through alleys and squares… it was too late until he realized he could no longer go back to the hotel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was lost and had no idea where he was, internally freaking out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Do not panic don't panic do </span>
  </em>
  <span>not </span>
  <em>
    <span>panic</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If his frantic thoughts showed on his face, he’d probably be an easy prey and get blindly robbed. He must stay sharp and focused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time passed, and Armin decided that he wouldnt find his way back if he didn’t move, and soon enough, he found himself walking through a traditional market rounding a vast square, traders wearing hints of color, intruding the greyness of the town-people, Armin realized that this market was attended by foreigners.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the middle of the square, a small stage was being set up, almost finished. From people’s questioning stares and glances, Armin concluded that it was as foregin to them as it was to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But after fleeting looks, people would resume their life, running errands, their kids killing time waiting for their parents; playing and hopping around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin forgot his hunger and that he was lost for a second, watching the kids.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Much like his younger days, with Mikasa and Eren in Shiganshina...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The atmosphere ignited nostalgia’s candle under Armin’s nose. He sighed, wishing that he invited his friends with him, maybe having company wouldn’t have gotten him in the mess he meddled in, </span>
  <em>
    <span>why didn’t I even think about that?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin’s stomach grumbled in response, reminding him that he didn’t eat anything since… the day before...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The side market-stands with fresh fruits watered his mouth. He swallowed, approaching a stand where shiny apples were snatching glances from everyone at the market.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin picked two apples, one red and one green -he didn’t have a personal preference- and any food on an empty stomach is worth a fancy meal at the monarchy’s feasts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Horns echoed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every head in the square swiveled to the center, where the stage was completely set up, a middle aged man standing on it, his chin up, beside him a younger man, a younger replica of him. Four musicians, carrying small horns that were a shame for real horns, standing behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Classy </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Attention, people of this town,” the old man with a round belly announced, hushed murmurs transpired, and Armin heard admirable words like </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s the Mayor! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Or </span>
  <em>
    <span>how humble he is!, </span>
  </em>
  <span>which made Armin raise a confused eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone went quiet, and as if on cue, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mayor </span>
  </em>
  <span>continued: “As words had been going around, we’re holding one of the biggest festivals here, in memory of ending the big war. Three years ago, when the world saw peace again!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Claps erupted, Armin grimaced at the Mayor’s meek wording.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The mayor’s chest inflated with pri</span>
  <span>de (or ego?), the buttons on his gray-striped shirt threatening to pop off. He raised his hand, and the crowd, once again, fell into homage silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And as I promise you, my dear people,” few people sighed, “I’ll make it worthy for your praise and admiration. People from all over the world are going to visit us, and from my place here, I ask you for generosity and hospitality, and to take advantage of this trade investment! It’s a great opportunity for your markets to flourish!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The crowd clapped again. The Mayor half bowed, before he descended the stage, his younger look-alike following him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Comments, squeals, and whispers spread rapidly, and the square was as alive as it was before the pause.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Young man?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin turned to the seller, he almost forgot where he left. He reached into his pockets, but stopped when the seller whispered to him, his accent heavy but understandable: “Did you see what he did? He’s using the people, </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>people for money!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin’s mouth opened and closed several times, taken aback, before he asked: “What do you mean? Isn’t this for their own good?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? No young man, no. I take it you’re not from here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well let me tell you something,” the seller leaned closer to Armin, his voice dropping to lower than a whisper, “that man owns this market, he takes 50% percent of the profit, from every single one of us!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Exactly!” the seller looked right and left, making sure no one was eavesdropping on them, “half of my hard work goes right into his pockets!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin scrunched his nose; he had a bad feeling about the Mayor the moment he saw him. Armin didn’t know why the seller was telling him this… maybe he just wanted to let it out…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“His son looks no better than him… I’m sorry young man, I shalln’t hold you up any longer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin nodded with an apologetic smile, handing several coins for the seller, he turned around and-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pumped into someone, and a paper bag full of groceries was dropped out on the ground, the two apples slipping from his hands and falling into the mix.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry! I-I apologize!,” Armin knelt and started picking the goods and putting them back into the bag.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin wasn’t bothered that he picked up all the groceries by himself, their owners not doing anything; it was his fault after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he was done, he stood up, glancing at the two apples which were no longer edible; one split in half and facing downwards, the other had a huge soft brown circle on it, contradicting how appetizing they looked just ten seconds ago.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There you-” Armin’s voice stopped in his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes met a pair of familiar icy blue eyes, wide open, boring into his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Annie…” Armin whispered, his eyes widening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was her, blonde hair in a bun, blue eyes- it was her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No doubt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Annie...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>There is no way this is actually happening; she can’t just vanish for years then pop out of nowhere like this.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That wasn’t fair, it was ridiculous, the world had a plan, and Armin was a toy controlled by someone else, snickering at him as Armin couldn’t catch his breath, couldn’t believe his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He spent three years trying to forget her, they can’t go through this again-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She yanked the paper bag from Armin’s hands, pulled a gray cape over her head and walked away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin froze for a moment, but when he saw her figure fading into the crowd, he darted behind her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Annie! Annie, wait! Please wait!” Armin called, as he pushed through people, whose sudden purpose was hindering Armin from getting to Annie. He accidently pushed a guy who happened to be holding a basket filled with eggs to the rim. The guy staggered, squelching half of them on the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! Watch out!” The man complained, but Armin didn’t acknowledge him in the slightest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She didn’t slow down, she maintained her fast pace, ignoring Armin’s calls, pulling the cape further down her face when people started giving them suspicious glances.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Annie! Please!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>More eyes looked at them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin barely kept up with Annie, trying so hard to not lose sight of her. Until they reached an intersection, people double the number, bicycles zipping past Armin-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turned right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin sprinted, crashing into bodies, people throwing profanities at him. He turned right and-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She vanished.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin halted in his tracks, his breathing erratic, staring at the last spot he saw Annie at.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Was that… was that a facade? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A hand clapped on Armin’s shoulder, he jumped, only to see that the hand belonged to a man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An angry man, with a basket of half cracked eggs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man was shouting, complaining, cursing. But Armin didn’t hear him; his ears ringing, his mouth dry, and his sight swaying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few blocks away, a blonde carrying groceries bag was hastily leaving the scene, covering her head, not turning around to check if </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>was behind her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ignoring the awkward glances from passbyres, she kept going until she was out of the center of the town, where houses scattered over vast land, and it was more peaceful than the market, less crowded, less </span>
  <em>
    <span>people</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She walked to a small, humble house, took out keys and unlocked the door. Discarding the bag in the kitchen. She beelined to her room, closed the door behind her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked around the room, searching for anything to break, to smash, anything to let out her anger on, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she decided she mustn’t leave a trace of her rage, she sat on the ground, leaning against the door, and bit down hard on hand. Closing her jaw as hard as she can on flesh, until she tasted her own blood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sharp pain shot from her hand, she let it go with a hiss, watching blood dripping on the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She watched her wound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A labored, shaky sigh left her mouth, she rested her head against the wooden door as she eyeballed steam emitting from her wound, flesh forming and healing, accompanied with a murmur of a hiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you done? Did you let it all out? Or you wanna bite your other hand?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked up, a girl sitting on her bed, legs crossed, a smirk blasted on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What…</span>
  </em>
  <span> what have you done, Hitch?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>AAAAAAAAAHHH<br/>Oh my GOD I didn’t update Legends in so long I’m so excited to finally post this dkgdlsajgkds<br/>Thanks for everyone who tolerated this story not being updated for some time, thanks for sticking around, I really appreciate it<br/>I know I haven’t been updating as much as I used to, I’m gonna graduate soon, so I’m a bit busy with university right now<br/>The thing is, I’m too attached to this story, and only recently I realized this. I started writing this story in April 2020, it was the beginning of lockdown and all the crazy shit we’re going through right now. It was my own escape, and I enjoyed writing every single word of it<br/>I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ll never abandon this story, because it became a part of me that I can’t live without<br/>So thank you guys for coming along this journey, I appreciate it.<br/>ALSO SORRY FOR ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER I’M SO SORRY OH MY GOD<br/>Ok that’s all, feedback is always appreciated, here or on tumblr (or twitter uwu)<br/>OK THANKS AGAIN YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU MWAAAHH</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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